Are you okay with your wife keeping her surname?

[Anonymous]

I think that my last name is super cool. So i personally don't want to change it. But i see plenty of dude who have problem with it why? Lmao I might understand if I wanted kids to have my last name but i don't care about that. I just want to keep it because it sound cool. Why is it a problem?

I am okay with it

I am not okay with it

Updates

+1 y

In my country in past. Women used to change their first name after marriage. It was not best place to be women. In South Korea woman don't change surname after marriage.
It is about culture lol.
If you truly love a woman then you would respect her wish to keep her last name. I literally have coolest last name. It is very rare too. Only reason I think you would have problem with this. Even though it don't affect you is because you have ego problem. Lol not best person for marriage.

[itsclearlynicholas]

I once thought I was okay with it. I suppose if I was getting married, versus those "equivalents of domestic partnership or registered domestic relationship whatever" laws, then sure I'd rather she took my surname, no hyphens. Now if I was opting for just a legal recognition type of civil ceremony domestic partnership or de facto legally recognised ceremony thing, then sure she can keep her last name whatever 😛😈👀 if the law allows. Anyways laws vary everywhere, cya lol. For the purpose of the poll, and I'm progressive, I voted No yet my answer above explains the differences between yes and no :)

[Asker]

What is progressive about letting a woman keep her name lol

[razelove]

No, I figure on doing things all the way or not at all. Marriage is for becoming a family and making babies. If that isn't the point, and you aren't even going to share a last name, why bother getting married in the first place?

What would substantially change from dating? I suppose the only other way I could think about it would be if her last name had some crushing status, like Rockefeller or some aristocracy that it would be more beneficial to our kids for me to change my name.

[Asker]

I mean maybe because I want to have kids that's why? I mean i come from conservative culture so i really can't have kids before marriage

In South Korea and arab culture woman don't change surname after marriage. They're very traditional culture. And it work fine for them so? I see no reason why it can't work

You can have kids and be family without changing surname lol.

[razelove]

That's great for them, but this is the culture and traditions I was raised in, Christian in the US. Don't women who don't change their name after marriage typically come from systems that historically have polygamy? I mean, it makes sense, if I have a main wife and 2 concubines or wives with less status, I don't want to give them my family name as that would mess up succession, with whatever that entails.

You are absolutely right as well, you can have kids without getting married, changing names or anything else. It simply takes having sex, not a relationship, love, or even a partner. Again, the only cases I've seen of that involve multiple divorces or poly type situations. I fully realize my view of the world is not all inclusive, but to see the same patterns over and over again has made me treat them skeptically.

[EmmaMary]

You could always considered having a double barrelled surname.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

This is what my wife did and what I even encouraged since she has a career and associated name of her own as book publisher and editor. She volunteered to just adopt my surname but I thought that's too much to ask in her case so we compromised and went for the compound surname with hyphen in the middle.

[EmmaMary]

@GuyAnswersGirls123

May I just say your wife is indeed an extremely lucky woman in having such a caring, understanding and compromising husband in her life.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Oh, thanks, although it comes bundled with a lot of idiocy in my case. 😅 I think I had selfish reasons for it as well. I loved that she was passionate about her career and her love of reading. Also I had to work my way up from a nobody to a small somebody in my own career and realized how much work that takes and how much ends up being attached to our names. So just simple Golden Rule logic for me.

[EmmaMary]

Thank you for the MHO.

[Apple1996]

I don't see a issue with it. I kept my last name

[Asker]

Yes I just want to keep it because my last name is super cool. I might won't have problem changing it. If it was boring

[RavVid]

I said in another response to the same issue that it would be a red flag.

She doesn't see the marriage as going to last long enough to justify the effort of calling companies to change her account name.

Definitely a narrow escape for me.

[Asker]

Maybe she just like her name?

[RavVid]

And possibly she might like Ms more than Mrs but despite the media always entitling woman as Ms most in fact don't use that courtesy title. It is third down from Mrs and Miss and mostly used by divorced women.

Why would I want to marry a woman who shows resistance to marriage? I think that is a poor judgement call for a man to make.

[tzdc21]

Because when you marry, you are now a representation of that man, and by accepting that name, you accept him fully. So if you don't accept that name, that tells him that you don't fully accept or respect him all that much. That you don't want to represent him, and that's why guys get upset.

[Asker]

I don't see marriage as representative of men. I see it as equal partnership lol

[Asker]

So he don't respect me if he is not changing his surname? What the hack

[tzdc21]

I'm just telling you how it is and how it works. You can agree with it or not but it's not gonna change anything. And whether or not you treat each other like equal is irrelevant in this case. Because regardless of how you treat each other, once you marry him, you are a representation of him, and if you do certain things or say crazy things, not only are you tarnishing your reputation, but you're tarnishing his as well. I don't make the rules, I'm just reporting them.

[TonyMetal___86]

It ain't a matter of choice, to be a family consists that the whole family members hold the same name which must be the man's last name...

You want to keep your last name, it's your choice if you agree with your man on it but personally it's a no no

[Asker]

In South Korea. Women don't change surname. It work fine for them.
You can be a family and wife can have her own surname

I don't see why it should be a no no

[TonyMetal___86]

That's in south korea? You mean kim jung un 🤣🤣 or the modern korea?
You don't see why it's a no no, well i don't see why it can't be a yes yes 😏
That's what the bible says and those are my beliefs!

[Mr_twoface]

Hell yes. If my wife wants to keep it, I'm fine with it. In some careers especially in the academic world, if you have written something, you want to keep your surname so people are able to recognise your work.

[Alex-Snow]

Well I am not married but I would not have an issue with it. I think it is an antiquated system that says a women should have the husbands last name... why can't it even be the other way around?

[exitseven]

I am not cool with it. And I would not want my kids to have a hyphenated last name.

[Asker]

I mean kids can have husband last name. I had said that i have no problem with that

[JacobJordan]

I took my wife's surname. Fits better with my name than my surname did with her name.

[verylovelyguy]

i think it's fine. she might have built a reputation on that name and it might be lost if she changes it

[Bklynbadboy12]

Nope if the woman I marry isn't gonna take my name then we won't get married

[KrakenAttackin]

No. Marriage is a traditional institution. If you are not traditional, WHY get married?

[KrakenAttackin]

Why don't you just marry another woman.

[Asker]

Because in my country. People look down on you if you have kids without marriage.

And i want kids

[KrakenAttackin]

Asker... as well they should. Having kids without a father in the home is selfish as fuck.

[Asker]

Okay I was explaining why I can't do this. I agree that kids need both mom and dad

[Jmmmfi4]

DEFINITELY NOT OKAY WITH IT

[Asker]

Why? How it affect you

[Anonymous]

Insulting. I'm not planning on ever getting married but the least the broke, stupid, short, soon to be fat, old and undesirable b*tch could do is fit into the family.

[Anonymous]

Double barrel, we both have our names in the mix then
Equality baby

[Anonymous]

I'm OK with it. She can just marry someone else. Everybody's happy!👍🙂

[laly520]

no issue in it

[Passerby2]

Don't call yourself missus then because it literally means "master's"

[laly520]

@Passerby2 huh?

[Passerby2]

Don't be half traditional.

[laly520]

@Passerby2 what r u even talking about bro

[Passerby2]

You can't even take the man's last name
Cmon. You aren't submissive. You can't have a marriage with 2 equal partners. It doesn't work.

[laly520]

@Passerby2 its a sin in his religion to do so
plus I have my own last name
the kids would have his last name
I dont see why I have to take it bruh

[Passerby2]

You're the reason why no men are getting married. The men who tolerate something like this are unaware it indicates ALL THE THINGS men can't stand about modern women.

[laly520]

@Passerby2 have good day

[CVNT5]

i want her to keep mine and hers together

[AngryCarl]

I'm not even okay with marriage.

[IloveWinters]

I am cool about it

[Anonymous]

I think Id be ok with that.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Nope.