He has been asking this for a month now and weekly. Sometimes within 3 days, and sometimes he updates me on things he does or feels even if I did not ask.
To be fair, I've really been sick and he knows it. However, sometimes I realize i do not want to talk which makes me feel guilty later on because i still care for him.
I decided to deactivate my fb so that I won't have to communicate but the guy messages me right away when I reactivate my fb. He has done this like 3 to 4 times now. Checking when I'll be back and then messages. There was a time he also sent me a message in another app instead because I was not in fb.
But I find the exchange a bit odd considering he is functioning like a partner and wanting to be needed and wanting to have that constant emotional connection. Whenever we talk, we have this where we keep trying to comfort, motivate and become emotionally open to each other.
He also really becomes happy when i praise him so i had been praising and appreciating him on the good things he does for me
Recently, i went on a trip and it so happened i need to reactivate my fb, within 30 minutes from reactivating, he was asking me again how i am.
I replied 6 hours later and talked about my issues but told him i went on a trip to help me heal. He said it sounds good and it usually will help in destressing.
Then, i shared the photos and also added my replies to his questions. He replied to my replies except for the photos as he did not comment on them at all.
He used to have long lines of messaging me complete with suggestions on how to heal me but our messages the other day were tersed and short at best although i can still see he cares for me. I just think he wants to be needed.
Why do i feel like this is beyond friendship or maybe codependency? and how do i go about this?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
Girl that's sounding a little codependent and emotionally intense to me. Some red flags:
- Wanting constant communication and response from you, getting upset when you can't talk
- Jumping at opportunities to reach out when your profile is active again
- Conversation seems focused on emotional intimacy rather than actual friendship
- Offering unsolicited advice or trying to "fix" your problems
- Getting validation and happiness from your praise of him
This level of neediness isn't healthy in a friendship. It's like he's relying on you for his self-worth and emotional regulation.
My advice would be gently pull back your availability and see how he reacts. Stop praising him so much too. Give short responses if you need space.
If he gets upset or pushes harder for more time/emotions, that proves this is codependent. A true friend would respect your boundaries.
Be slowly direct that you need balance. Meanwhile, evaluate if you even want this dynamic long term, sis. You matter most!
I think is in love with you
But he start losing hop on you