Do junkies use drugs when they are stressed?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend has a problem and i hinted that he needs to stop that

He said im stressing him when im pushing him on quiting drugs

And said it makes him want to do drugs even more

So can someone, professional or smarter than me, explain how does it work:I want him to stop doing drugs and he says its very hard to control it. I say he destroys his health and im not sure we can continue like this. He says he wants to do even more drugs if i press on him.

So... me saying :stop it or ill leave you.

Translates to him as:if she leaves me ill do even more drugs

My brain i not braining on this one

Please help

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Very much in my case as at least a borderline alcoholic until the end of last year.

I say "borderline" since I didn't let it destroy my work or my deepest relationships (ex: with my wife, who didn't even mind my drinking), but I was still all over the place everywhere else and getting so tired of being hungover all the time.

It helped me a lot that my wife was very patient and understanding with me. Actually wanting to be a better husband for her was my ultimate source of inspiration to just finally quit completely. The fact that she never even asked me to quit always helped with my stubborn personality.

[Asker]

So what should i do?
Stop even talking about it?
How much patient i can get
I said he looked pathetic on drugs and hungry for drugs

[Asker]

When i ask him to quit or be etter he says i must accept him the way he is

[Asker]

I dont see that he wants to be better
Nothing helps me being loving caring and nice and being angry and sad
None of those work

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

It's a tough one finding the right tone. But often I think with the difficulty of overcoming addiction and withdrawal, a more supportive and encouraging tone might be the most likely to help. Like, "You can do it! I believe in you!" That could include getting professional help. But I think a very gentle and supportive tone might be the best bet since ultimately it has to come from within the person to confront their own addiction and want to overcome it.

[Asker]

When im caring and soft and supporting i feel like he is laughing at my face and treating me like an idiot
When im a bit bossy pishing he seems, at least at wprds, to be like ill do it yes yes ill quit
But in reality he stresses even more amd gets angry at me
I tried good cop and bad cop with him
Nothing works

[Asker]

I even asked : tell me how can i help? whqt can i say? what im doing wrong?
So i can be helpful... he says nothing

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

That's a very difficult spot and I'm reluctant to suggest this since I can't take responsibility if it backfires, but if you really want to stay with him and see things through, it might be worth telling him (very maturely) that you don't want to see him high like this and it pains you too much. Don't frame it like an ultimatum. Just a very genuine statement. So you aren't going to see him until he gets better and hope he gets better.

[Asker]

I tried that too
To the point when he would get his pipe... ots crack what he smokes
Id go home and leave
Last time we were about to meet at 2 and he asked if i can come later
... and later i came and discovered he was smoking before me so i wouldn't see
But the next day he smoked in front of me even when i asked dont do it. he did it anyways in front of me
I said he looked desperate and pathetic he got angry at me for sayin that
He says he has control...
What can i say to that?
I dont know

[NathanDavis]

addicts don't really decide when to do drugs... they're just addicts

telling an addict to stop being addicted really doesn't help either... well, it doesn't work like that

[Asker]

Ok.. how does it Work?

[laly520]

she asked lot about it before
that's why I suggested making real move n getting him into rehab

[NathanDavis]

@laly520 got it

[Asker]

@laly520 how about you fuck off
Im not even talking to you
Get lost

[Asker]

Wow ok so whats the point you come to My ask for what exactly?

[dustybiker2]

Junkies are junkies because they have been using a while. By that point they no longer feel the drugs so much as the drugs own them. They feel nothing but the impulse to get the next high and do anything to achieve that goal.


If this person feels stress and still functions in life then they aren't a junkie. They are a user.


Users are usually escapists. So yes, stress can be a factor.

[Asker]

He is stressed and for coping he is using drugs
I literally said: stop it you are destroying your health i can't stand being with you when you do that

He said:you preassure me it just gives me desire to do even more drugs
Wtf is that

[dustybiker2]

He's triggered to use them now. He'll always fight the battle to use.

[Asker]

He said he wanta to quit
I said what i can do
He said support him and be there for him
But im losing hope
Should i stay by his side and belive he want to quit drugs?

[dustybiker2]

That choice is yours. Does he make you happier? How do you feel if he left you?

[Asker]

I like everything except drugs in him
Im happy when he is not on drugs
If he leave me while on drugs ill feel relieved
But if he leaves me when sober ill be sad but he won't do it
When he is not on drugs we are happy

[AngryCarl]

Yes, because drugs are usually a coping mechanism. Not that I'm a junkie, but alcohol is a drug I do know something about.

[Asker]

What coping mechanism is
What can i do

[AngryCarl]

So here's the thing. You can't help an addict unless they want to quit. Your boyfriend obviously isn't in that place yet.

[Asker]

He says he wants to quit
And everytime he said , before using drugs, he says he feels bad about himself and after using , he says he feels bad about himself again
Says its hard for him
And tjat i dont even know that he actually controls himself

[Asker]

How can't i help him quit? what to do

[Asker]

Can
... sorry

[AngryCarl]

Well it is really on him if he wants to quit. You can support him through that process but I'm not convinced there is a process at the moment.

[Asker]

Why you think so?

[laly520]

get him into rehab

[Asker]

Its not what im asking captain obvious

[laly520]

u asked about such topic more than once n as it seems he won't make it on his own captain hopeless
get him into rehab before its too late n before u get harmed
drugs addiction is no light matter

[Asker]

I have no interest in what you ha ve to say
Fuck off