What does it mean when he’s bringing up other girls?

[Anonymous]

We met online through a mutual interest, and we mostly talked about that but then our chats became more flirty and about our feelings. He messages me good morning and good night every day, says he wants me and thinks about me all the time but he also keeps bringing up other girls, how they hit on him or how he’s getting set up with them, but that he doesn’t want to get with them. We’re also talking somewhat less lately, but maybe it’s just because I’m constantly checking my phone… am I getting played and am I naive to believe him?
We also live in different states so I don't know when we’re gonna be able to meet up.

[DoggyDude]

If he's too 'comfortable' talking about other girls, chances are high he's playing you.

If though he's mentioning them in the context of his day, for example commenting how a girl was flirting with him, it might just be that was something in his day which was unusual or he was flattered by.

I would say the way to tell here is to, just a little, play him back. Seem to be slightly jealous, if he's all about the 'play' he will be trying to push you in a direction of increased intimacy, he will double down on making you jealous and say stuff like "well if we don't get together soon, I don't know" etc.

If he's just dumbly talking about other girls flirting with him, he should somewhat look worried and try to back track stuff. He should also reduce the amount to which he highlights other girls who have flirted with him or he's noticed (because he would be concerned you might feel he's not serious).

Bear in mind though, players are always upping their games and pretending to be like the decent guys; So your best tell is a continued pattern of pressure to increased intimacy especially after expressing your not looking for that to them. You should be clear it's not your not looking for a relationship, just not hookups. A genuine guy should feel bad about pressuring you and move to stop that and make you comfortable.

Best of luck figuring it out.

[Mrtcn01]

long distance relationship is hard my dear.. please dont do it even it seems happy.. especailly man can not stand this.. and you are very emotional person.. i can see this.

[Asker]

you’re right … I just have hope I guess:(

[Mrtcn01]

come on!!! you have to be strong.. you are beutiful you are smart...

[_Maya_]

He is probably using that as a technique (albeit bad one) to see how interested you are in him. Basically it is a passive way to see how you will react to these "other girls" he talks to or are interested in him. My guess is there probably aren't any in reality and he is just using this to see if you like him or not. That is the simplest way I can put it. My guess is he is thinking that you would be jealous and have some sort of reaction of jealousy if you were into him and found out other girls were as well. It is a really misguided way of gauging your interest in him but that is my guess as to why he is doing it.

[Asker]

You could be right:( it’s just annoying when it keep happening and I’ve made my feelings and intentions clear

[Nikki1989]

He is basically playing childish games and testing you.

[Anonymous]

Why don’t you ask him about it

[Asker]

I have, and he says he doesn’t care about them and then I’ll make like a joke like good because I don’t want you with them either and he’ll just say exactly for that reason I don’t care for them

[Opinion Owner]

Tell him not to do it anymore

[Asker]

well given that he keeps leaving me on delivered lately and then changing the subject when he comes on I doubt I’ll get the chance to. If it comes up again I will

[Opinion Owner]

Good