We were drinking last night, we both had a lot to drink. I ended up annoying him by asking a question and not dropping it so I kept asking it. I was a bit drunk. The next morning he’s angry at me and says he’s not being with someone that annoys him.
Felt like kind of a break up threat to me so I reacted badly I said well you don’t have to be with me and I said it’s mean to threaten break up in a fight. Now he has done this in the years we’ve been together after most fights and he still hasn’t broke up with me so it’s like the boy that cried wolf.
Should I apologise for how I reacted?
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Hmm that's a tough one. On the one hand, it sounds like you kinda just wouldn't drop whatever you were asking when he wanted you to, so that was probably annoying. Drinking usually makes people a bit less patient too.
But at the same time, threatening to break up after every fight seems like it's just a way for him to control you and get you to back down. That's not really cool of him. It almost makes the break up threats meaningless if he never actually does it, you know?
I say don't fully apologize, but maybe take a little responsibility for pushing the questions too far when y'all were drinking. But also stand your ground and tell him the break up threats after every little argument are lame and manipulative. If he really wants to break up then he should mean it.
Don't let him bully you into always being the one apologizing. Stick up for yourself too. Fighting is normal in relationships as long as you're both respectful. Sounds like he needs to work on communicating better without being so aggressive. You both probably just need to cool off for now. Hope this helps!
Based on what you described, I do not think an apology is necessary in this situation.
Really why not? I think he is expecting one because he’s walking around the house grumpy
He should be able to communicate his thoughts and feelings with you. Repeatedly threatening to break up and not expressing how he is feeling is a controlling and manipulative way to handle the situation. I would only apologize if something hurtful was said during or after.