I’m confused. Is this love?

[Anonymous]

A guy was way into me, like love bombing. But I had crush on another and ignored guy A for B. He was after me for a whole year. I never talked to him and would run away at the sight of him. Rejecting him was a daily chore and the last rejection was pretty hard on him. He was humiliated by teachers for crushing on me while ignoring his own reality and academics. This left him angry.

Fast forward. B is very rich and attractive. And I was in love with him. Slowly my love for him faded when I came to know he is nothing but a PR product that his parents hired. All his good boy image was nothing but a controlling jerk who is ideologically biased to people. One who weights rich vs poor on different scales. A narcissist in disguise.

I rushed back to person A then. Now he acts like he never knew me or my existence. He keeps forgetting me while he has time to talk to all the random good looking girls on Instagram. he even laughed at the fact that I love him. Even if he seems me asking for a minute, he would read and leave.

[StarWarGirl]

No it's not love. Neither A nor B had loved you. Not even you have loved anyone of both.

First A was keep coming to you even when you were keep rejecting him. This is not love but attraction and craziness to get something. It's like you liked a toy and so keep coming to them want to have them. In this all attraction ends mostly after we have them. Love is when we understand and respect the other person choice. He and his actions made you to be harsh on him. So it wasn't your fault.

Person B. You already told he is narsistic and controlling so it's not love. He doesn't have any value for you. You also got "attracted" towards him because of some reasons so that was reason based attraction not love. Love means knowing the person and even after knowing him we are liking and accepting his all goods and bads. BUT MOST IMPORTANT accepting it BEING TRULY HAPPY DOING SO. Not like forcefully accepting that it's ok no matter what I love you but inside you, you are in pain. That's not love.

Now when you returned again back to A. He already lost attraction over you so he is no more interested. He is with you just because he is. If he gets interested and attracted to others he is more likely to go towards them. You are just a another girl and this relationship is just for name sake.

[Asker]

A isn’t particularly attracted to any other girls. He just want them to so that he can distract himself or his issues. Also A keeps being upset when he sees other guys around me. He would shout or go full fledged annoyed. However he doesn’t act.

[Asker]

Also he initiates meeting and chicken out

[StarWarGirl]

This behaviour can be result of feeling of possession. Like if you possess sometimes you don't want anyone else to touch it. But if he loved you he would respect you, he would feel happy to have you and will concentrate all his energy over you not on others.

You are telling it's his distraction, so you yourself giving them excuse to justify their action. But use your common sense, if a man truly loves someone why would he do anything what could make them feel insecure? Why he would do anything so she could doubt him? Won't he do everything to keep this person happy, to make this person feel safe, to protect this person? For example you are a female so one day you could become a mother. So automatically you will love your child. So would you like doing anything to make your child feel insecure? These are simply excuses.

[StarWarGirl]

And if he truly loves you then you both need to sit and talk. Tell him this is not allowed this makes you feel insecure and make you doubt his love over him. And notice his reaction or response after that. That's the best proof of his love. If he truly loves you, he would change his behaviour and would avoid doing what gives you pain. That's how you can know

[StarWarGirl]

This can be possible he loves you but still inexperienced in how should he treat his girlfriend. That you need to help him with by telling him through clear conversation time to time. If he truly loves you, and your concerns are genuine he would listen definitely.

[wiltingrosepetal]

Ever considered sending this script to Netflix? They're out of ideas right now

[Oliverlogan263]

Woah, this is all pretty complicated. A few things come to mind:

- Guy A clearly had strong feelings for you at some point, but the way you treated him was super harsh. Can't blame him for moving on after how hurt he must have felt.

- Now that you realize Guy B wasn't actually a good dude, you're attracted back to A since he was always real, even if he's over you now. Grass ain't always greener!

- Guy A laughing at your feelings and avoiding you shows he's definitely moved on. Harsh rejections over time can really damage how someone feels.

- You probably shouldn't expect A to just take you back and be into you again after how it went down between you two before. That level of hurt is tough to get over.

- Focus on yourself for now - work on being the best version of you. Worked for me after some rejections! In time maybe A could come around if he sees positive growth.

- But don't bank on it - be prepared to truly move on if he's really done. His feelings are valid too after all that happened before.

Tough situation for sure. Only time will tell how things go from here. Keep your head up!

[ohsheeT]

So what you're saying is that now you're wearing his shoes you kind of know where it feels like and maybe you went about it the wrong way just let things happen randomly run into each other don't bring up anything just say Hi how are you you have to start all over if you guys can I would do the same thing that he's doing now.
Just for the fact you could have went about it a whole different way sorry that it's like that but it's an energy it's an emotion