I'm talking about in real life ans over the apps. The apps is literally makes it easy to ask a girl out. Yet, I've found a ton of men who want the female attention through messages with no intention of asking her out.
These are just a few examples. You can be the "perfect" guy - good-looking, huge income, vacations, helps around the house, etc., and it's never enough - and all a woman has to do is decide that "she's not happy" because she was expecting some kind of perfect life where she was always happy every minute of every day - and the guy is devastated and often financially raped and/or loses access to his children.
Plus, too many women are addicted to gossip and drama and conflict, and create a home environment of conflict and chaos instead of one of peace, and what men need at home is PEACE.
Then, let's talk about the ENDLESS list of "icks" that women have - the most recent one was a woman who is upset at the idea that a man might order a SOFT DRINK for dinner - you know, when (in her words) he takes her out to a high-end steakhouse to eat tomahawk steaks, and she has to "sit there and listen to the bubbles" and "be embarrassed because he's not drinking a grown-up drink (read: liquor). There's a guy who is collecting the "icks" women are reporting, and he's currently up around 2600 "icks". Some of those "icks" include the man being cold, the man playing with his kids, drinking out of a bottle (any kind), and wearing anything other than dress shoes (because "men" cannot wear sneakers outside a gym).
And while the Asker may be great and not have any of these issues, SO MANY women do that tons of men have just written women off completely, and are choosing to find other things to do rather than invest any of their time, money, or effort into women. Most of these men aren't part of any group, and they don't really talk about it - they just silently decided "no more" and just go about their lives, not avoiding women but avoiding establishing relationships with women.
I don't personally agree with that solution, but I certainly understand the motivation. Most women, when they think about what things are like as a man, always think of a top 1% man - the handsome, wealthy, popular, social, high-status man that she's so attracted to - but those men lead COMPLETELY different lives than the vast majority of men, who are largely invisible to most women. The majority of women have NO IDEA what average men experience, and the few women who have experienced a bit of that have been shocked by how terrible women treat men. Writer Norah Vincent, who tried to live as a man for 2 years (and had to stop after 18 months, because her depression was so intense) ended up killing herself because she was so devastated by her experience living as a man, in particular because - in stark contrast to when she lived as a woman - she realized that NO ONE CARED ABOUT HER when she was living as a man.
Yes, I read about that gurk becoming a man and how she hated it because no one literally cared.
"Gurk?"
@handsomelad70 *girl
Ms. Vincent, 53,, a Detroit, Mich., native like my mother, died via assisted suicide July 6,2022, my 69th birthday.
She was a lesbian - not even sexually interested in men - but she was so horrified at how women treat men (which she could no longer deny, having lived as one herself) that she literally couldn't deal with the guilt. She had a mental breakdown, was hospitalized several times, and ultimately decided to self-delete.
There are multiple reasons, but to sum it all up, women and relationships are not what they used to be. In the past, the goal of any straight man was to find a good woman, marry her, settle down and start a family. That was the carrot, so to speak, that motivated men to date. But marriage today looks nothing like marriage of the past, so that carrot is more like a rotten apple. Half of marriages end in divorce, women file 80% of them, and it's no secret that men typically get screwed in divorce court and child custody.
Those are the risks men face in marriage today, but the rewards have also dwindled. In the past, a man worked hard at his job all day and looked forward to coming home to a prepared meal and a relaxing evening with his family. But today, women are working too, so all of the chores that used to get done during the day have to be done in the evening and on the weekends. And men are expected to do half of those or be scorned for being a jerk.
Add to that the fact that casual sex is the norm today, whereas in the past most people waited for marriage. Sex was part of that carrot I mentioned, but it isn't anymore. The expectation is that men can get sex without having to subject themselves to the risks and costs of marriage, and even without a committed relationship.
In short, women have made marriage too expensive, and sex too cheap. Women changed the rules and expected men to just go along with it and keep playing the game, but they're not. Men are playing a different game now, and it's about satisfying their sexual needs without committment. And women are pressured to play that game too because they know if they don't, the next woman will. Women have truly shot themselves in the foot and ruined things for both sexes, and society as a whole.
Which is why many men, recently including black men, are turning to overseas women.
There was PLENTY of pre- and extra-marital sex in the "good ol' days," but it wasn't as openly bandied about as today.
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It's not really worth the trouble. Women are insistent that men need to "level up". That they need to be more like girlfriends and emotionally expressive, vulnerable and available to WOMEN'S desires. When women have failed to recognise that with the power they have been given in the "liberation" from being part of the conventional familial structures and home makers they are now their own providers so men aren't given a means to show excellence to potential partners or have EVEN more GIFTS to give women that aren't equally reciprocated in return?
It's almost like women can ask and expect more while giving less in relationships. Like will women become more erotic and aroused more easily (it's invariably men who need to arouse women to get them their satisfaction yet seldom the reverse, how so ladies?). Will women be more competent in the kitchen (ICYMI men can cook as they've always done before being in relationships, and look after themselves yet hope someone sharing their lives can do something different, but apparently simple meals aren't sufficiently nutritious to women).
Then there's households in their own right, when men live alone they are capable of being content with minimal comforts, women on the other hand, in general aren't so "minimalistic" and require ALL the mod cons, decor, open and outdoor spaces, etc.
So bringing on all the extras men are now expected to provide isn't how the "patriarchy" modern women are presenting to men so guys are seeing the juice as stale and no longer worth squeezing for. Awaiting the arrival of something less draining and demanding to come on the horizon. Sex robots may make dating for relationships obsolete.
Well... Our freedom is a bit too much for us to put on the line over asking a woman out. We never know what kind of hideous crimes against the woman in question we can get accused of as soon as we meet up with her in real life. And if we don't do anything even the least bit risky (but is a proof of our interest in the woman), the relationship is doomed anyway, so... I guess it's somewhat pointless to ask a woman out. Act and get in jail, don't act and never get anywhere.
Then there's the problem of lack of experience dealing with women and the resulting lack of confidence. If a man has been shunned for the better part of his life, he won't know how to behave on a date, obviously. It's easy to take part in idle chit-chat online, but it's much harder to confidently lead on a real-life date (I've actually got my first limited experience in this recently, so it's not exactly an unfounded claim). Much less so given that a court battle is ever looming on the horizon.
And last, but not least, there's this famous trend of women getting on dates with men just to eat for free. I'm not saying they should get intimate on the first date, far from that, really, but having next to no hope for any kind of continued relationship after that first date is definitely demotivating even for those who don't expect intimacy right away.
Why would a man ask a woman out these days? We all know that he's going to end up broke and she will leave him in the middle of the road and find someone else to carry on!
I saw a lot of women doing this, just using men for their own benefits...
A man asks a woman out o get to know each other, get engaged and than ger married, ofc if everything works out with them...
These days it ain't like that anymore, women are just using men and some men thinks that if he pays the bill than he will receive a sexual service but receives this instead 🖕🏻
Because women have so many expectations (many of them unrealistic) and always looking for nonexistant subtext to everything a guy says, the lack of straightforward honesty, and the ghosting, that guys are tired of the bullshite.
Also, people just want to hookups nowadays, then jump into relationships if the sex is good, instead of getting to know each other.
Dating is almost dead and mainly for those already in relationships.
Dating society has devolved into absolute bullshite, that many guys have given up dating for the "just have fun" single life. Just as many women are tired of asshole loser dudes, who can't take rejection and accept it, and have next to no emotional intelligence.
Interesting observation, @dragoblack. "... always looking for nonexistent subtext to everything a guy says, the lack of straightforward honesty"
You only have to spend 10 minutes on this site to be flooded with "what does it mean when he..." questions from women.
The older generation just has a harder time meeting women. It's not like a 55 year old man can go to the pub and meet a woman like he could when he was in his 20s.
The newer generation is part of the the hook-up culture. Too many women see their sex and bodies as a commodity to flaunt to get attention and sex (See WAP or Anaconda).
Younger men looking for a soul-mate may be confused on where to go, how to figure out which women want what, and so on. It may seem to them women don't want relationships , but just want hooks up.
He could if he had my boyish good looks at age 70.
Yeah but I’ve heard a lot of girls do that too. That being said, it’s the same in high school. Only a few guys are confident enough to ask girls out, and of those only about half get accepted by the girls they ask out. So yeah, dating is rough. I heard it gets better in college though. The guys get more confident.
What reason would men have to risk everything to ask out a woman? Women have made themselves undateable. It is safer financially, physically, mentally, emotionally and legally to not date a woman. Specifically those in western countries. I was lucky and married an Eastern European which in recent years has seen an influx of men as they realize Eastern European women are infinitely better.
I hear black men are dating Eastern European women.
@handsomelad70 lot of men are. Don't know the exact stats beyond that western men are finding far better women outside the western countries
I never had a boyfriend and will be 27. I been meeting guys but none are asking for dates it’s very strange…. I see all girls in public with baby and boyfriend but how they got that if men don’t ask for dates anymore?
a lot of folks have been introduced and or met in a setting that was natural and relaxed
From my experiences, young women nowadays are incredibly immature and emotional. I just think girls want situationships and nothing significant. I think a lot of girls and young women are jaded by guys/men and then paint all men with one brush. I have dealt with this numerous and I'm tired of girls running their mouth like im a piece of shit when I actually show compassion, real talk, compliment her but not over compliment her, ask how she's doing, don't talk about sex or get sexual so she doesn't view me as "one of those guys". Girls/women are confusing and guys don't want that drama nowadays either.
Men are simply tired of being rejected when they shoot their shot, as well as being treated like dirt so much so that they don't even bother asking anymore.
The Feminism Movement has been incredibly toxic in the global dating scene to the point 👉 where many women have said that they don't need a man and are strong and independent.
Because of this, men are checking out and are simply happy remaining single so they can enjoy their own life in peace and solitude 😊
1. I hardly ever get likes or matches on the apps
2. Either I get unmatched for asking them out too soon, or they ghost me if I wait too long…
3. I’m not conventionally attractive in the eyes of most women, so why would I bother competing with guys who are more desirable? I don’t play games I don’t have a good chance of winning
Simple test. Would you go out with me?
100% serious.
Will you work with me to figure out the logistics and plan out a date?
Umm your profile pic is questionable and what's your age?
I'm 37. And the picture was made with an ai image generator. I thought it was cool so I used it
See? this was the point of the test. I offer to take you out, work out the entire thing.
And then?
Nothing. totally stopped replying. THIS is why men are not bothering more and more and more to try with girls. they overwhelmingly get this kind of reaction. so what's the point?
Point taken. Seriously go out, sure if you live in the states? Both men/women are struggling. You're a stranger, with no profile pic..
You're posting from an anonymous username so I can't see you either. And as such I can't send you a DM with my picture. I'm not putting it on my profile cause I'm not tryna have some shit I say on here come back and bite me in the ass 10 years from now like what happens to some people. So send me a dm and a picture and I'll return it. Promise no dick pics unless you ask for them lol
Possibility of false accusations, women mostly use men for money and bring nothing but stress to a man's life. Plus, realistically, once a woman is past 30, most good quality men that have options won't even consider her.
I would up to about 40.
The #MeToo movement screwed everything up. It's made it unsafe for a man to even step in a woman's direction without being reported for harassment or being creepy. Whether it be in person or online.
I never (well, maybe fleetingly) thought of it, but you may be right, tzdc21.
It's just not worth the effort. Asking women out usually gets you blown off and/or otherwise treated like shit. And, on the off chance you don't get rejected out of pocket, lots of women intentionally waste your time. Many other times, they'll change their minds at the drop of a dime, so you effectively waste your time that way as well.
A lot of women today treat men like their personal punching bags, so the possible relationships mostly aren't even worth it.
#rant … Real Men ask Real women out all the time , and real men and real women go out on dates and experience real connections , and real men and women don’t keep complaining about rejection or being asked too much … I honestly suffer from fatigue over how often this question is asked and HOW it’s asked in reference to ALL men… then all the typical responses from the incels and bitter men , militant feminists or air-head women etc. just do you !
m Guys ask girls out, girls ask guys out. Don’t use apps as they are fairly crap, real world is where you do stuff.
I think some guys walk away from it and leave it to luck, especially if they've been turned down a few times. It goes to their head and makes them feel inadequate.
Because of the "me too" insanity and that it's becoming a crime for a heterosexual male - especially if he's white - to exist around a woman because she might be a feminazi waiting to complain about sexism, harassment and sexual assault.
Because he's WHITE? How many white men have been lynched for looking at a white woman, boyo? (Even today, white Karens police "white spaces" by calling the cops on law-abiding black men.)
It's becoming increasingly more common. Especially on liberal "inclusive" college campuses. The more "inclusive" the college is, the less welcome straight, white, Christian men are on it because - apparently - "diversity, equity and inclusion" means blackwash white characters in movies instead of writing new stories centering on people of colour, and ostracizing men in general for daring to exist.
And yes, forcing "white guilt" onto generations who never experienced actual "white privilege" is a real thing.
EVERY white person has white privilege, as an honest look at quality of life stats re. whites and POC will reveal. It's a condition caused from centuries of slavery and oppression in all forms.
And we're all descendants of enslaved people as well. Unless they were the European slaves taken by the Muslim countries who were routinely castrated.
Europeans - specifically the British Empire - were the first people to outlaw slavery, while the Africans were still rounding up other Africans to sell to the European traders.
Learn some history, "boyo". Africa STILL has a flourishing slave trade internally in sub Saharan Africa.
And if you think white people can't be victims of racism and oppression you're deluded.
I'm NOT deluded, and fully realize Africa has a flourishing slave trade. ( One thing I've never been able to understand is black folk taking Muslim names and/or becoming Muslims despite being enslaved by Muslims, who just a fre years ago slew hundreds of thousands of black South Sudanese Christians and aminists.)
As to Europeans' outlawing slavery, Europe retained black and brown colonies from which they stole resources and oppressed the Indigenous populations until well into the 20th century, and racism remains a major issue as in the USA, where "Black Codes" restricting blacks movements replaced Southern slavery. Plenty of us were leased as near slave labour to chain gangs (My maternal Uncle William Matthews escaped a Louisiana chain gang in the 30's) under "Vagrancy" laws meant to keep us as Southern chattel, i. e. sharecroppers aa my maternal grandmother, Bessie May Franklin Turner. We were legally segregated in the South and customarily Jim Crowed everywhere else, so were kept from housing, education and economic opportunities which would have enable us to join the American mainstream. (Read about Redlining, Block busting, restrictive covenants and other wealth-suppressing laws or agreements which kept us in a subordinate position to whites and continue to affect black life.)
So don't pat yourself on the back about you people being the first to end slavery, boyo. You've made NO tanginle attempt to alleviate many of the conditions that have arisen for 405 years of often-murderous oppression, and until or unless you do, congratulations won't be forthcoming from this 70-year-old handsome, genius-level brainy black Canadian/American chap.
I'll ask politely: since it's origins are racially based, stop calling me "boyo" unless you're open to me using the equally offensive word Americans in particular referred to their African slaves.
My family were abolishonists that worked with Wilberforce to end the transatlantic slave trade. Yes, colonies continued to exist until the 1950s when the British Empire became the Commonwealth of Nations.
The War of Independence cost the African slaves an extra few decades of slavery and allowed the imbalance that led to your civil war, the Jim Crow laws and the horrific segregation of the 20th Century. Just like South African independence led to my wife's family being labelled as sub-human by the Apartheid government until 1994.
And sorry, but if you think racism is an American phenomenon you're mistaken. The worst country to be European in today is South Africa.
That's not true. They do. Are you hiding away under your bed, avoiding going out?
Yet many men telling here why tge don't. Wake up! Your time will come
@chris_987 Except it's not true.
The only reason why I say women are the last to know about things. Is because most girls in the comments say that guys still ask girls out. But they're unaware that statistics show the population is decreasing and that women are hooking up with a small percentage of men because of dating apps.
So a lot of women are unaware of the changes that are happening so why would they be aware of anything else?
@chris_987 exactly 💯 also younger generations are having less sex not hooking up as much.
@chris_987 This must be a purely Gen Zed phenomenon.
Well, part of the issue is the fair of being seen as creepy or being falsely accused of assault I feel.
Well #metoo didn’t exactly help much. Yeah it’s been a few year but it did some lasting damage.
You are joking, right. My friends and I are asked out all the damn time. It is actually annoying.
Most black women believe they're better than black men, even if the woman is fugly and the man a handsome Brady.
@handsomelad70 Ignore her dude. She's made up her mind that men are trash.
Confidence would be my guess. It feels nice when you have people looking at you the right way, no?
I'm sure there are numerous reasons why men don't ask women
some are shy while others have just given up all together for whatever reason.
Because most don't want to "ask out" they want either no strings sex, or just banter.
They do. Maybe they don't ask you in particular out, but guys asking girls out is still common.
I know it is, but it IS somewhat rarer than in the past.
You're 24 and don't have any past experience to base on the facts.
Because they’re all into that redpill Manosphere mentality.
Why? because men are all narcissists Scientifically proven, narcissistic.
because #metoo happened. Its dangerous for men to approach women. Especially when a simple accusation from a woman can land men in prison or worse. Nah you guys dug your own grave on this.
Because there to much trouble most of them are drama queens that just want everything that everybody else has.
MUCH TOO OFTEN, I'm afraid.
Why does the guy always have to initiate? Why can't the woman ask the guy out?
I've asked a few guys out. Most times they end up canceling or not being interested.
Really wow I'm surprised.
@Sugar100 really I'm surprised
@Sugar100 it's difficult for men these days. It's hard to tell I'd a women is worth talking too or going to blast you on tiktok
@Sugar100 you are better off not too. But same crap on Instagram and YouTube
I don't try hard where I know the end results.
Many women have told such things on social media that I've lost interest to ask.
Tons of reasons
Fears of being cheated on
Fears of being monkey branched
Fears of Commitment
Fears of rejections
The guy is not sure of she likes him back
Because jail isn't a place I'd like to visit, and harasser isn't a fitting name for me.
If you don't get asked out you aren't relationship material
LIES
I love asking women out in person, but it bothers my wife and my mistress too sometimes!
they don't?
lot still do n its almost a daily struggle for some girls
For me, i already know i'll get rejected so why bother
The juice ain’t worth the squeeze.
How 'bout if the "squeeze" is a buxom blonde? (Besides, the "Juice" just died, even though the glove didn't fit.)
Ell oh ell!
I do. Usually multiple times per week.
I'm very introverted and don't know how.
No idea. It has never been a problem for me!
Fear of rejection
MeToo statutes and firing squads, that's why
Most fake people are on apps,
Because 90% of modern women are disasters.
Because we want gals to ask us out.
you women wanted to be left alone, there you go
they do. you're jus ttoo old
They do….
Lots of reasons.
its not convenient
They are busy
To shy
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