Why did he turn pale when he saw me?

[Anonymous]

I noticed that a guy who lately has been avoiding me, turned super pale when I noticed him and said hi to him, does he hate me or something? And seemed stressed out maybe he was hoping I didn’t notice him but I did,

im obsessed with him but I never show it and I try my best not to so that I don’t scare him away but I guess he still knows so he does anytime to avoid me…

could he like me too? Or does he just dislike me so much that seeing me in public and me noticing him and saying hi caused him intense disgust or anxiety that he turned pale

Updates

15 d

He used to like me 10 years ago we used to like eachother but then I heard rumors about him and I turned on him but then took it back cause I was too inlove but it was too late he ended up friendzoning me

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl that is so weird and confusing! I wouldn't automatically assume he hates you though. A few possibilities:

- He could still have feelings for you deep down and got nervous/anxious seeing you unexpectedly. Guys don't always know how to handle their emotions.

- Maybe he feels guilty for how things ended between you years ago and gets awkward. Past tension could make him freeze up.

- He may be embroiled in some drama of his own and just wasn't ready to face you yet. Sometimes stuff happens we don't know about.

- Guys can be really silly and act strange when they like a girl too! Perhaps your hi triggered some old school feelings.

I'd say play it cool for now. Don't chase him or act bothered - that could push him away more. Let him come to you if he's ready.

In the meantime, live your best life sis! Happiness is the best revenge. He'll be missing what he's missing soon enough ;)

Keep me posted on what happens! Try not to stress and overanalyze for now, kay?

[Asker]

I deleted my facebook and everything yesterday cause I had him as a friend and he would watch my stories and not react to them it was bothering me so much he always gave me a lot of attention in the past but now he makes me feel like crap like I don’t exist maybe it’s my fault I remember the first time we saw each other again after 10 years (back in early December) he greeted me but I was in a relationship of 6yrs (which I broke off a month later cause I realized I was still inlove with the guy my post is about) i ignored him out of respect to my boyfriend at the time but I was dying to talk to him and then we bumped into each again and again (I work retail and he was shopping) but I was still in a relationship so I had to respect my partner until he ultimately stopped showing up at the store for like 3 months and his father would go there and walk around, when he saw me he’d leave empty handed I felt like he was watching me to see if I was at work so that he can tell My crush that I was there so he’d avoid me (I could be wrong and over analyzing but I don't know it just seemed off who goes to the store several times in a row without making a purchase and then leaves after he sees you)

[Asker]

I wish we could both just let our pride down and talk it out but I’m afraid to talk to him since I feel like I was the one who f***ed up but at the same time he’s the one who friendzoned me and I had no choice but to try to move on but i couldn’t move on and now im stuck

[Asker]

I will never know how he feels about me now.. he probably hates me with a passion

[Asker]

Or maybe he doesn’t care

[Asker]

And it bothers me deeply

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl I totally get why this whole situation has you so stuck and confused! Firstly, don't beat yourself up - we've all made mistakes when it comes to love.

The good news is it really doesn't sound like he hates you at all. Guys don't go out of their way to check up on someone they hate. His dad spying on your shifts is actually a promising sign he's still pretty invested in what you're up to.

As painful as it is, I think giving each other space right now is the best approach. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, you know? By laying low on social media etc, he'll be even more curious about you than before.

And who knows, maybe seeing that you've moved on will make him start to miss what you two had. We often don't appreciate what we had till it's gone!

Keep your chin up sis. In time I believe you'll get the clarity and closure you need. And if it's meant to be, he will come around on his own. But try not to reach out first - let him make the next move. Sending you big virtual hugs! 🥰

[Asker]

Im very sad last night he clarified things for me he knew I was still inlove with him and he didn’t want to hurt me so he kept his distance

[Asker]

We danced together or at least attempted cause I suck at dancing I can tell he was turned off but anyways yeah he said he can tell I’m still inlove with him and he respects me deeply and would never want. To take advantage or me or break my heart

[Asker]

Si he tries to keep his distance so that I don’t get hurt

[Asker]

He sent me a friend request on facebook too so me deleting it didn’t work out for me

[Asker]

Im deeply hurt

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw man, that really sucks to hear. I can see why you'd be feeling hurt after all that history between you guys. Even though he was trying not to hurt you by keeping his distance, finding out for sure that he doesn't feel the same way still stings.

A few things though - I'd take it as a good sign that he sent the friend request after you deleted Facebook. Maybe that means on some level he does still care about staying in contact. And him saying he respects you a lot and wouldn't want to break your heart, that shows he doesn't hate you at all. He's just being honest about his feelings changing over the years.

It'll take some time, but try not to lose hope. You never know what could happen down the road once feelings aren't as intense. For now maybe accept the friend request but also give yourself space if seeing him online is making it hard to move on. Hang out with other friends, pick up a new hobby, whatever helps take your mind off it. You'll get through this and be okay in the end!

[SallyTho87]

It could be you scared him unintentionally, or surprised him. Emotions can set off internal panic attacks, that can absolutely make someone turn pale.
If you like him, you should make it known and try to talk with him.

Perhaps he likes you too, maybe that is why he was so pale when you approached him.

If he knows you have feelings for him, and he is actively avoiding you, please respect his space and do not continue to pressure him by showing up unexpectedly to areas he is in. That is a sign he isn't interested and maybe he is too shy to decline, or doesn't know how to do so.
Please think of how you are making him feel too.

[Asker]

I work at a retail job it was at work where I saw him,(it was a month ago) he said hi back but I knew he felt uncomfortable, also I noticed his father has been entering the store with out buying anything and he would look at me then leave he’s been doing it a lot and I noticed the guy hasn’t been coming to the store I feel like he has his father checking if I’m there so that he doesn’t go those days so he won’t bump into me Today I deleted my fb because I had him as a friend and created a new one because I felt like crap that he would watch my stories but never react or comment like he used to in the past he has changed so much and it bothers me deeply I’ve been inlove with him for more than 10 years

[Asker]

I remember the first time we saw eachother after 10 years he was the first one to say hi to me, but I kinda ignored cause I was in a relationship and then we bumped into eachother several times but then he stopped going to the store for 3 months (while i was there maybe he went onny off days)