Why do you think he unsubscribed me on instagram?

[Anonymous]

I met a guy in another country like 7-8 years ago. We had a very soft affair…we stayed in contact and once he got jealous just seeing a picture of a friend (guy) with me. Then I don’t remember exactly but each of us continued his own life. I sent some messages to get some news a bit later but he never answered.

We re still friends on Facebook and I know he watches my things sometimes.

Lately I had him in suggestion on instagram. I added him and he quickly accepted my answer and added me too. He checked my stories yesterday night and today too.

I saw that he was now living in Spain, and that he seems to have little children.

I sent a nice message today just to get some news… and just after, he unfollowed me..! I don’t understand. I mean, it’s been several years…he has more than 1000 friends on instagram. There’s nothing too personal on his side, and for my part I have a lot of pictures of my travels, dance choreos etc.
Why he would do that? I mean I’m not harassing him or anything like this.

how do you understand this? So you think he could be still attracted and avoid temptation? Otherwise I mean you can just be neutral and keep on with your life.

[SallyTho87]

It's past, you two had a past affair, and a fling together. He probably sorted his life out, and is committed to someone now, possibly married, with small children. He knows you from the past, and clearly doesn't want you to disrupt his life now. He accepted, but probably didn't think you'd reach out to him, after all this time has passed without you connecting, he is probably very suspicious at why the random add from you, and now a random message.
Facebook could be a social site he doesn't use as much as Instagram, and that's why he occasionally views your stuff. Instagram may be his go to, for social media and coming from a total outsider
1) you've been pals on facebook for 7 years, you tried to keep in contact but clearly he didn't want to actually message / keep updated on your friendship

2) NOW suddenly you just add him as a friend on Insta, then proceed to reach out to him directly, with a totally unsolicited message, after not withholding a friendship / remaining in contact over the past years? Thats creepy, and comes off as weird and a bit desperate that you're seeking to regain HIS attention, when HE chose to not message you back years ago lol.

He probably unfriended you on instagram as his boundary. You're not someone important / active in his life, and sending that message was not something he was comfortable with. His past is the past, and he doesn't want anything messing up his present.
Don't take it to offense, but you need to let this go. He has moved forward, and you two don't even have a proper friendship. You two have a past, and that's it.

[Asker]

Hello!

Actually we just kissed once, but we kept in contact for some time.. he lost control about this specific picture once and maybe because he was ashamed after that he started to back off.

I mean it’s not so creepy, I found out old friends or lovers years after, we were happy to talk again after years…we all have our own lives and happy to share about it !
I didn’t share thousands of messages or so.

My feeling is that he could be shameful for what he did previously and acts a bit coward about it.
As adults, we are able to communicate. He s the one who first didn’t act in control while feeling jealous about a simple picture. I always stayed nice to him and just wanted to have some news.

[Asker]

In French we say “de l’eau a coulé sous les ponts”, like time has passed… so things should be more neutral now. As someone I appreciated I wanted to have some news.
That’s why I find it suspicious as there should be no problem to have some news so much time after.

[SallyTho87]

I understand, unfortunately he doesn't seem to want to allow you to have that access to his instagram for reasons of his own, and that's ok - but don't stress about this friendship or the past. Maybe he uses his instagram for family/close friends only, who knows. It sounds like there are many things you two shared and connected together in the past.
That is great you two managed to talk and keep active together as friends on facebook, but as long as you two are friends there, and can chat or interact, Instagram isn't necessary!

You could always ask him, and inquire if your message offended or upset him, or why he removed you when he originally accepted. People do things for various reasons, even some reasons we may not understand until we are informed about it.

I hope you can at least get an answer from him, or an update regarding how he is / his life, and how things have been for him too. It never hurts to ask. Maybe message him on facebook instead, when you see him active, hopefully he will respond!

[Asker]

He has more than 1000 friends on instagram haha, that’s why I find it even weirder !
He unfollowed me less than 10 min after I sent the message LOL. Like he was afraid or I don’t know. Especially he checked my story yesterday night, and again today as soon as I posted.

This is really strange, and I feel like maybe he was still feeling something to act so abruptly. Positive or negative, but doesn’t seem neutral at all.

[Asker]

Honestly I think I ve done enough, I don’t want to scare him more than he already seemed for random reason. Lol

[SallyTho87]

Weird! He's creeping YOUR instagram profile, watching your stories, and yet your direct message scared him away oddly. I'm not sure what is going on with this guy, that is suspicious activity for sure.
Yeah, let him be and see if he responds back, or maybe he will reach out himself and explain. Maybe, if he is married, perhaps his wife / partner has access to his social media too? Some couples do share accounts, so that might even be the reason.
I hope you get answers from him!

[Asker]

Haha weird isn’t it 😂😂
Thank you for your support and taking time to answer me correctly. 🤗
I ll let you know if there s any news !
Ps:he unfollowed me but not blocked.. and I’m still following him lol 🤷‍♀️

[Asker]

I checked, he s still following his ex girlfriend… so that’s really weird because I don’t think he s friend with the 1000+ contacts he has on instagram lol.