Mixed Signals From an Extroverted Guy?

[Anonymous]

So, there’s this guy that I’m into and we’ve been talking recently. He’s asked me to catch up with him and when I mentioned that I wanted to get into listening to jazz (he plays jazz as a hobby) he said that he would take me to a jazz club. All my friends asked me what was going on between us because we both went to a friend’s birthday party before we started talking and almost everyone sensed a vibe between us.

So, I asked him to be a plus one to a party recently and he agreed to come but we didn’t really see much of each other throughout the night. But when we were sitting with each other he was really touchy with me and when I felt sick at the party he was constantly asking if I was ok and offering to get me things. My friend asked him what the deal was between him and I when I was in the bathroom and he apparently got flustered and nervous and said that we’re just friends for now.

I get that he could just be lying because he doesn’t want to tell anyone but he’s a very open and extroverted guy that knows a lot of my friends well, and like even if he didn’t want to tell her, who he knows semi well, he seems like the guy to just say I don’t know instead of saying that we’re just friends for now.

The issue is that I don’t know whether he’s into me or not and it frustrates me because I wouldn’t necessarily pursue him as a friend because I would find it too difficult to see him in a non romantic way. I’m debating whether I have a conversation with him about my feelings or not. I just don’t want to put my energy into something that I won’t receive energy from. I’m a type of person that hates being in between.

What should I do? Is it worth continuing to pursue him?

[_Maya_]

Only you can make that decision and I always say go with your gut instinct. If you feel there are mixed signals then you really have two options. One would be to straight up ask him what his intentions are because you are not looking for just friendship. The other is to just move on. The first is going to give you a direct answer to how he feels unless he isn't honest with you which is always a possibility. The second way of just moving on might also give you an answer and then maybe none at all. He could pursue you when he sees you lose interest and that would tell you all you need to know. On the flipside he might like you and then see you lose interest and decide eh not worth it. It's a gamble.

[LuminousMind]

@_Maya_ hey, I remember you have helped me out before! I wanted to ask if you wouldn’t mind answering a question I posted?: What does it mean if I tell a guy I like him and he just says “I don’t know what to say?” ? ↗

[_Maya_]

Of course.

[PandaEyeAmy]

It seems like he likes you back. He seems to find it difficult it express how he feels which is like most guys. Keep spending time with him. Try spending time one on one. Keep doing romantic touchy stuff. Then when the moment is right go in for the kiss. Sometimes actions speak louder than words. If he kisses you back then he likes you

[FunnyButNotFunnyHaHa]

It sounds like things are going well. He hasn't tried to kiss you yet, but that's probably on the horizon.

Give him another two chances or so, and he'll probably make a move.

[Asker]

Do you think I should leave the next move to him? I feel like I expressed interest in him by inviting him to the party as my plus-one, so now I've left it up to him to kind of decide whether he makes a move or not?

[FunnyButNotFunnyHaHa]

I mean, I've never met either of you, so I don't know what the "vibe" between you two is. He might be more comfortable if you let him decide when to plant one on you. But if you feel like the moment is right, it probably wouldn't hurt if you took the initiative and kissed him first.

Good luck.

[strateguy632]

Hide your feelings, and don't chase him because he didn't lie.

[Summeroflove]

I would say definitely be honest about your feelings with him and see how he responds. Some people don’t mean to send mixed signals they just are conflicted inside just like you are.

You may be unknowingly be doing the same thing when debating to show interest or not show interest. The thing is be honest and you’ll get a couple responses.

One is that he will agree to go on a date maybe for coffee or something. Two he will reject the romantic offer…. That’s scary but number one you have closure and two you’re not wasting your time on it. The third option is not a direct answer in that case the balls in his court he knows where to find you if he makes up his mind.

Don’t wait too long because you’re not the only girl attracted to him most likely. I’m sure there are other women that could catch his attention as internet like that can come and go. If another woman doesn't outright make a move on him.

So just go for it I assume he likes you. That’s my best guess based on the context.

[Nikki1989]

Pay close attention to his behaviour beyond the party. Does he initiate conversations? Does he try to spend time with you outside social gatherings?

[WhitneySnow]

He’s not lying. He’s flustered and nervous because he’s not sure if you like him back. Defo have a convo about your feelings.

[Anonymous]

Work it out with him

[Anonymous]

😆😆😆