Guys, does going to strip clubs make you feel down on yourself afterwards?

[Anonymous]

They were fun to go with friends in my early 20's, but I'm over 30 now and have been going by myself recently, but feel like a worthless piece of crap immediately after I leave.

After having no release in a stale long term relationship, and compounded OVERWHELMINGLY negative experiences being single again, I find myself spending $2-500 a night every few weeks for fake attention in a place where the girls are paid to look good and act pleasant, but in a place where I'm insulated from the negativity of rejection.

This makes me feel like I'm rapidly aging into a stereotypical lonely old man that frequents these places and it makes me hate myself.

Yet, it's just like drug addiction, the fake and fleeting happiness in the moment keeps bringing me back even though the outcome is always the same.

[WhiteSteve]

I’ve never gone on purpose, always just caught up with a group and I’m either along for the ride, or in one case, it was part of a going-away party for someone I worked with. And once my ex-girlfriend wanted to go, haha. She worked there after we broke up🤣

Anyway…yeah, I never enjoyed them. I like naked chicks just as much as the next guy, but paying for it…. I could never get past that. I’m really not sure what I’m paying for. Are you guys getting boners? Lmao. I don’t. Not even for a lapdance. I get revved up once I start making out with a chick, but that’s not happening with a stripper, and I’m fully cognizant of that. I don’t know, maybe I’m doing boners wrong, please speak up if should see urologist or something🤣

But the mere sight of a naked woman…. I LIKE IT, but I’m still ten miles out from Boner City at that point, lmao. Like if I came home and my lady was naked, that’s different, I know it’s about to go down. But unless there’s something I don’t know about going on out back, I don’t plan to bust any nuts at a strip club, haha.

Also, I feel bad for the strippers. I can’t imagine most of them would choose to be there if they didn’t need to, and that adds to the mood-killing. I’m the guy who would probably befriend strippers and be like “look…I ain’t the guy who’s going to make you your money, but I see you, and I respect your hustle, and I’m also seeing the shit you probably laugh about with your co-workers backstage and laughing along with you to myself about it.”, lmao

[Asker]

To be honest, since you asked, if you go and pick the right girls, they will get you off, sometimes, just never directly. The ones that are really good know how to do it without even taking your pants off. And it's mutual between both parties that it's a business transaction.

However, the girls are just people, and people meet partners at their jobs. So I have had girls give me their numbers willingly on several occasions, but the only time I ever actually went back home with one, the "real" her was completely psychotic and nothing like the pleasant persona I was paying for at the club, and it turned out to be a genuinely unfulfilling experience.

[WhiteSteve]

Oh wow, I guess I’m naive😅 I knew a guy who said he’d always wear basketball shorts with no underwear, for the lap dances so I guess that tracks😂 Can’t believe you can get in dressed like that, but I’m sure there are seedy ones that don’t care, haha

Taking home a stripper is risky work, hope you got out of it with all of your appendages attached, lmao

[Purpleronnie]

I’ve never felt like that going to a strip joint, not that I’ve been often. Maybe 3 times ever … My best guess is that you’re attempting to fill an emotional void by going to strip clubs. The intimate and pseudo sexual chats with the women replacing what you really should be looking for within your life in a partner. But you’re also avoiding an intimate relationship in your personal life because of your past relationship (s).
These women are professional manipulators, they feign a close personal bond with you telling you what ALL their gents want to hear , they may even elude to wanting something more from you but they need the money. It’s all engineered to separating you from your cash. You feel crap afterwards because it’s escapism for you going there , you feel good lapping up that fake intimacy and engagement with seemingly sexually available women then CRASH , your back to your life
My advice , as your clearly addicted to what you get from going to these clubs then really your asking for help in breaking a compulsive behavior. I can’t and wouldn’t offer advice on how you bring this under control as the first part is you admitting to yourself that you have a problem.
Your past relationship and maybe fear of being intimate or vulnerable again are playing a part though

[PrettyCrumblBb]

You are self aware.

You don't want meaningless and empty connections with random women.

You're a human and your soul is craving for something more. You should look for Jesus and see what He says about love between a man and a woman. You want someone that loves you and you love back. You want a meaningful and healthy relationship with a woman. One that will love you and care for you even in old age. You don't want to waste your time with a woman who chose to rip her clothes off for any many who offers her a green piece of paper. While simultaneously laughing at your expense for being her "costumer". You want a woman who is strong willed, faithful, loyal, joyous, loving, nurturing, helpful, and overall a beautiful person to be with.

Please keep moving forward in the right direction. You already admitted that you don't like being in this situation. It makes you feel lonely and worthless. But you are not worthless. God loves you.

[Asker]

Thank you

[Anonymous]

Ever thought of distracting yourself with other forms of entertainment? Get involved in something you've always wanted to do that requires learning. Use your free time for classes and find people with similar interests there.
Education is never a waste of money and even if you don't meet someone there you'll be doing something you like and feel good about. Happy people are attractive.

[Asker]

I've done all this actually after getting sober, but I ruined my brains natural endorphins and I tend to seek pleasure from sex now.

[Opinion Owner]

Sex addiction? They have meetings with a specialist for that. You might even rub elbows with famous people.

[Miristheiss]

There is 100% free stuff on the internet. Why are you wasting actual money that you've worked for on whores? Women whose entire existence is funded by simp men.

Just go look at some free porn if you've got to do that.

Better yet, get off the stuff entirely and go get busy with life goals, learning, improving yourself, exercise, friends, food, music, reading, travel, invest your money and let it grow.

Based on how you've described it, you spend almost 10,000 a year of trash.

If you just invested 10,000 a year with a good financial planner at age 30, by the time you are 60 (30 years of growth) you'd have over 2 million, most likely.

QUIT WASTING YOUR INCOME ON WHORES!

[Asker]

I actually added the total up and I only spent a little over $2000 through the course of 1 year. And I did everything you mentioned before that just in reverse.

I used to have a drug problem but got sober 5 years ago and started exercising, dieting, and doing competitive mma, but I've been sinking in depression again recently.

I guess I was looking for confirmation bias more than anything.

[KennethNoisewater]

I feel like the problem isn’t necessarily the strip club but more so going alone. Strip clubs are a great time as long as you remember what they are all about. It’s a business. It’s not a building full of hot and naked chicks that all think you are the hottest dude ever. It a business. The have a brilliant business model. A business needs a couple things to insure they can keep the lights on. They need employees (dancers) and the need to make money (I. E your wallet). Never go in with a chip on your shoulder. They can smell it before you even walk in. I personally think it is more of a “bring your friends with” kind of establishment.

[Anonymous]

What you described is one of the enemies strongholds keeping you from your destiny. I wouldn't even go to one of those if they paid me!

That money you are spending there, could be given to help the needy or homeless. After I became a believer, I ceased all questionable behavior, even lustful eye contact. I feel a freedom I've never felt before. I aspire to imitate the Father and live closer to Jesus than my old self lived.

[Asker]

I honestly feel like I would benefit leaving America to do humanitarian work now and I just applied for my passport.

[Opinion Owner]

That sounds good, but also in the same sense, there are billions around us that feel defeated that we can also help. Humanitarian work is great, but when we change within and then point others to that for themselves, we change the world at the root.

[slatyb]

Not at all. Why would it? But then again, I don't spend $200-500 when I go. Have you considered seeing a counselor to learn how to build a real relationship?

[Asker]

Though I know how to fake it and be nice in casual encounters, I think I'm too far gone as a misanthrope at this point. But yes, I have tried therapy.

[slatyb]

At 35? I divorced at that age with little experience dating. Now I'm happily remarried to a sweet and very attractive woman. Everyone thinks she's ten years younger.

[Asker]

Where did you meet your current wife?

[slatyb]

on match, same place I met my five-year girlfriend before her. After I divorced I was surprised how easy it was to get dates and how quickly women would take me to bed

[Asker]

Do you live in America? Otherwise you must just have something that the rest of us don't.

[slatyb]

Yes, I do live in the US. What do I have? Maybe just a genuine enjoyment of women's company.

[OneViewpoint]

Down on myself, no. But pissed off I allowed myself to be dragged into that? Regret wasting a couple of hours of my life? Absolutely. I'm generally bored to death 15 min into the outing.

[Anonymous]

I've been to parties that were at strip clubs and I don't like that whole overly fake everything. There was a sort of regular girl once who had little boobs and wasn't all plastered with makeup, I got a lap dance from her and I must have shot gallons of cum it was so hot.

[AviatorTom]

Haven't been to a strip club in years, but I never felt down after going. It was fun entertainment.

[exitseven]

I have only been 6 or 7 times. I always went with a group of guys. A couple of times I was in the Air Force. I just saw it like a live action porno movie.

[DrPepper12]

Strip clubs are DUMB!! Blue balls, over priced drinks & broke n horny at the end of nite?

Make it make sense!!

[Knightwatch27]

Since I do not partake in such dens of iniquity I couldn't say nor do I need to worry about feeling filthy and sexually immoral.

[Wise4myage]

No, I have only been a few times, but I enjoyed the experience.

[Nifrayu]

I've never been to one, but I can't imagine it would make me feel down.

[Anonymous]

It is a feeling as pathetic, disgusting and full of guilt as you get after jerking off.

[Asker]

I don't think JUST jerking off feels quite as bad as blowing all your money just to end up jerking off does, but you're right, it is a pathetic feeling.

[fantasticass]

Go to church. Go hang out with church people.

[dustybiker2]

@fantasticass That would make me feel worse. "Does it feel hot in here? Why am I burning up?"

[Asker]

@dustybiker2 I know man, like I appreciate that they are trying to give me well-meaning advice, but I don't think church is the answer. I was raised in a Christian church and left as an adult for a great multitude of reasons.

[FunkyMonkee]

It never had that effect on me.

[tfan1]

Never been to one.