Are the boys who say they don’t care about a girl’s past simply delusional?

[Babygirl_S]

So because the ones you like physically can never win if you start considering that, you’ll just change the rules of the game? They have even created derogatory terms for women who don’t sleep with just anyone! Your favourites are too pedestalised to ever be careful.

[Stevepro68]

Everyone is different. That said I am kind of on the inside of this. My girlfriend of the last five years was a SW when we met and is retired now. I see how many of her friends from that life have had relationships issues due to social signal shaming and partner insecurities. I have plenty of insecurities but this one I truly do not have. My girlfriend past doesn't bother me in any way. I cannot explain it. When we dated she had all sorts of regulars and customers. I cannot explain how when I really got to know her I knew she is the one for me. There are always issues with EX's no matter who you date at my age. No one is a virgin no one is without baggage. I understand why she did what she did, her story makes me proud of how strong she was and everything she overcame to make a life for herself. The only stress it brings to our relationship is how much she gets anxiety in new social situation. How people always ask the same questions, have the same curiosity. I would say what has changed for me is not how I feel about her. Rather my sensitivity about the callous and derogatory way SW are represented in all kinds of media. I told her this the day she told me that she didn't think I could handle her job. Without getting into details. I knew pretty much all about her work before we even went out on date. Before she quit and we were dating there was an evolution of her getting to trust me.. She quit not because I wanted her to but because she felt it was cheating on me. She has always always made me feel special like no one else. In a way my ex wife never did, even though she worked a a well respected profession. I know many strange men have seen her naked or nearly naked. Who cares. Many people have seen Scarlett Johansson naked as well. From my heart to all of those men. You paid big money many of you wished and dreamed to be with her. Out of all the rich, powerful and good looking men and women who wanted more from her. She picked me... Loves me. And I'm not rich or beautiful or well connected. From the moment she picked me I could care less about before personally or professionally in her life. All I know is I have a funny, smart, beautiful woman, who for some reason I cannot explain wants to jump my bones regularly. Plus when we fly to Tahiti 1st class and sit on a beach I look at her in her bikini and think about all those suckers who stuff dollars into her gstring now paying for my dinners and my drinks.. I just get a big smile on my face thinking I'm the luckiest man on earth. So if I'm delusional let me be I'm happy 😀

[glennos89]

Only fuckboys don't care about a womans past because they are selfishly trying to get his own desire to have sex. Those guys often are proud of their high bodycount and they are proud of telling everyone how many girls they fucked.

In my opinion these dudes are total losers lacking a deeper understanding of themselves and life itself. I find them very pathetic

[DishLady]

Delusional? No. But some guys come from homes where their mom lived a tough life, etc. and they can see that everyone has pasts and baggage. It's perhaps just them recognizing that you are who you are regardless of your past... that you choose your future and your choices are your own.

On the OTHER hand, some guys claim not to care bc THEY have an outrageous past they don't want you asking too much about, so they don't ask YOU so that YOU don't ask THEM... Catch 22.

[IslaTheWitch]

I don't think I've ever met a man who was interested in my past... ofc at some level of getting to know each other we touched the topic of our past relationships... but it never was excessive or detailed :D

[Lliam]

Having low self worth and low self esteem combined with a high libido can cause a girls to be desperate for validation by fucking anybody. We called girls like that skanks when I was in high school. A self-respecting guy would only fuck her if he was super horny, but he wouldn't want to admit to it afterward.

But girls who have self worth and high self esteem who want a boyfriend and enjoy sex are normal. If they had previous relationships that failed, I couldn't care less. Even if they experimented when they were young to discover their peak sexual pleasures and limits doesn't bother me. I respect women like that far more than I do those who are afraid to live life to the fullest. We learn from experience.

I place zero value on virginity and sexual "purity". None of my girlfriends were virgins and they were on the pill. We enjoyed unbridled, ecstatic sex. That's part of being alive. But my girlfriends were picky about who they chose for a boyfriend, just as I was picky about girlfriends.

I wasn't interested in girls with religious or cultural inhibitions. My girlfriends were good people and they were fun to be around.

As you get older, "purity" becomes even less important. Inexperience and naivete aren't so attractive.

I honestly never asked a girlfriend about her past sexual experiences and none ever asked mine. Doing so wouldn't have served any productive purpose. I assessed their personality and values myself, based on our interactions, without asking for a resume or background check. The path they took to becoming who they were was unimportant. I could tell if they were good people.

Having long-term, monogamous girlfriends from the time I was 16, I never wanted kids and didn't even start thinking about settling down until I was in my earlyish 30s.

I met my future wife when I was 40, realized that I could trust her completely, decided that I could imagine living the rest of my life with her, and married her two years later.
We had both lived full and fulfilling lives with careers and travel before we met. Obviously, neither of us were virgins by any means. Neither had been married or had any kids.
We have been happily married now for over 28 years, had LOTS of fun and built a wonderful life together. We love, honor and respect each other deeply. We take our marriage vows seriously. We are "bonded" for life.

[_Lynx]

For your question: Maybe they just find it easier saying so, and so just neglecting. Because it just complicates things by nature if you aren't mature enough how to handle it. So better act as if nothing there. Plus, what you mention is certainly another possibility too.

Personally: I don't care about past, as long as she acts normal and doesn't mention anything. Nor shall I.
I want it, all of us want it too.

However, if she states something out of pressure/necessity she had to state something out, then it depends.
For example she might have lost her friends or relationships due to being looked down upon, and now needs a new world. For that, as long as she gets really consistent and present in the new situation.. then actions speak more than words. And I still know how hurtful it may be to her still losing her old acquaintances.. so might seek strangers again for any recognition.

But there are always indicators for how dedicated or decisive someone is.
So I think such cases really depend on the partners's maturity and understanding of knowing how to properly deal with such cases, for either gender.

Also, there are indicators of someone being insecure about their past, or someone who seems conservative but aware and learnt from past.

Push to some extent in general being non-judgemental just to see if they overall seem scared to talk or learnt from it, even without saying a word or clue of it specifically.

Being manipulative or lying is another level, and my reaction is certianly different whenever I calmly decide what to do.. which is mainly sharp and decisive, overall non-tolerating.

[MrOracle]

There are always a few exceptions, but the vast overwhelming majority of the men who don't care about the woman's past hold that position because they don't take her or their relationship seriously anyway - they view it as a temporary thing in their lives that could last a decade or end tomorrow. Most of them really wouldn't take ANY woman that seriously. Some of those men are just very attractive and know they could easily replace her because they have lots of options, and some are just selfish and self centered and would never put anyone else above themselves.

To be clear, I believe the majority of men DO care about a woman's past. The first paragraph is describing the ones who don't.

[SteveSmith1985]

No, some guys care more than others. It's a personal view situation. I don't think they're delusional, I think there's just one end of the spectrum. Some guys care a whole lot, some guys kinda care, some care little, some don't care at all.

It's one of those situations where you can't really generalize for "guys" (generally) holding a particular view. Societal attitudes aren't necessarily the attitudes of a particular guy.

[236color]

This obsession with virginity is self defeating and hypocritical. Some guys are insecure and can't bear the idea of being compared. But after you're an adult, most people you will meet aren't virgins, including the insecure guys that want virgins. It's best if you have a don't ask, don't tell policy on a partner's sexual history, outside of any necessary precautions due to STIs.

[Finchie40]

I don’t really care about a girls’ past as long as her past isn’t going to harm me or effect me in anyway , as long as she is honest with me , I will be honest with her , if I find out she is lying , then i will have a hard time trusting her and probably end up dumping her as well if it’s something completely messed up

[Shiprex]

They're not delusional but I think a lot of guys have a preference for someone who has self esteem and hasn't frittered herself away on sexual validation to boost self esteem. That's a sign of low self control and needy NOT an insecurity of those who don't like the idea of a high BC past in their long term partner.

[Emmann88]

It depends on the past. If a girl sleeps with anyone, that’s a cause for concern. If a girl is concerned about a few prior relationships, that’s where not caring about her past can be beneficial to both of you in the current relationship.

[exitseven]

I think they are delusional. The problem is it is a lot easier for a girl to rack up a big body count than it is for guys. and guys get jealous because a girl could be in triple digits and a guy is still trying to lose his cherry.

[OneViewpoint]

Nah I don’t care about a girls past. That happened before me. All I care about is today and tomorrow.

[LiamJHayden]

I care if she's infected with untreatable STI's/STD's or was a violent felon. Otherwise I care about how she is with me.

[DrPepper12]

IDC about her past. I care about our present n future.

[katiesmuff]

I think there are a lot of guys who think that the past is the past






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[WhitneySnow]

If a guy doesn’t care about a girl’s past, that’s fine with me. His choice.

[bddddd]

The guy either cares about your future or doesn't care about you at all.

If he is harping on your past then he is not the bloke for you.

[ImalwaysrightOK]

I don't mind saying I do care. She'll get nowhere with me if she's been promiscuous.

[ABC1x1x]

No. They are lying so they can ejaculate in you... then ghost

[Panthero]

Maybe not, but they should care. What if she has been a prostitute? Are you going to tell me that you would think nothing of it?

[yotaman99]

I don’t care tho that doesn’t affect my thoughts or feelings of them

[Kelley1]

They are simps.

[Kelley1]

Realistically, men are not thinking about the extremes. They are thinking it doesn't matter whether her body count is two or ten. They are not thinking and don't mean, "Does it matter if her body count is 500?"

[oldpigg]

I don't like women who aren't virgins.

[fish5505_87]

No, they might just be fibbing a little.

[noohair]

I am not delusional and I don't care.

[Bklynbadboy12]

Yep and they're also liars too

[MySunflowerSophia]

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