So you wanna be Casual Friends?

[Nicoles0426]

This guy I used to date wrote me this after I wrote him... Guys what does this mean? What is a causal friend thing? I am the type of girl that usually has boyfriends. He wrote me a 3 paragraph email and this is the end of the email. Before that he writes how he should have called me and how he was having family problems and a business trip and says he is trying to not make excuses? Advice please I need it- what does "casual friends" mean?

"I'm not trying to make excuses. I just wanted to explain to you what's been going on. I'm sorry I hurt you... at least that's how I read your email. I probably should have let you know what was going on, but to be honest we'd only been out a couple of times and I wasn't sure how things were going. After the last time we were out I felt like this was more of a casual friend thing. Obviously you felt differently than I did about the situation and I'm sorry that I didn't pick up on that. If you want to talk I'd much rather do it on the phone than here on email. If you can wait till I get my phone back I'll give you a call and we can talk or if you'd rather I didn't I can understand that too."

[SIRKGM14vg]

First, I'll define casual friend (or at least what I think it means...) Someone you can hang out with, without any sexual tension or anything of the sort. I actually do have casual girl friends (contrary to what BoMusicMoy says, lol). And basically I can hang out with them, go to the movies, have dinner, etc. and have a great time. They can be your fall back if something goes wrong, like when you need a date to somewhere. But since you both understand the boundaries and are comfortable with it, things will never be awkward.

I took my best friend to my Prom and had a blast. We're still friends to this day.

I think what you should appreciate is the fact that he's being honest with you about how he feels. You seem a little shocked by that.

[BoMusicBoy]

Hard to say without any info about what you had written to him, but it sounds like he doesn't want to get serious with you. "casual friend" is a better term then "person I was dating but it never went anywhere" and is more of a justification of the time you spent together. In my book, there's girlfriends, girls, friends that are girls, my buddies (guys), and people that I know. I've never had a "casual friend" and I think it's cause they don't exist! Regardless, try reading the email with a broader perspective, and instead of trying to figure out what he meant by any one particular term, look at what he's trying to tell you. When people don't know how to say what they really want, they end up making it confusing for other to understand it.

[Acuzio]

He may regret his decision to break up with you, or he might feel sorry that he hurt you in the process. I think that his question is just a way of asking how you currently feel about the relationship.