Hey Sweetie,
Alright. Let me be frank, before I answer your question in more detail. Yes, it IS a bad thing. In fact, it's a horrible decision that will put your life to waste, and later in life, you will regret wasting so much time giving in to life.
Now, I also want you to understand something, hun. Every single person on this planet has gone through "so much" in their lives. Whether it be the children in africa who have no parents, or home, or food to survive off of, or the homeless person on St-Catherine Street in Montreal, who everyone passes by. Whether it be the girl who sits alone everyday in the highschool cafeteria, to the business man who has money, but who everyone uses.
Everyone in this world has experienced the exact same amount of pain; Just in different areas of life. Now that this is cleared up...
I understand hurt, of course. It is a natural part of life, ultimately. So I understand how it would hurt you to feel abandoned, and want to lock yourself away from the world. It seems like the easiest solution sometimes, and I know that you feel it will bring you more relief, but it won't. You'll be hurting yourself even more, because you will let go of any progress you've made it keeping yourself out of that hole... Depression.
Now, just because this guy told you he thought you should be friends before deciding if you two wanted to become more, does NOT mean that he isn't interested. In fact, in light of the situation at hand, I would say he IS interesting. Or at least that his reaction or response was definitely a positive one. Let me explain this a little further...
If he told you he wanted to become friends and THEN decide a relationship status, this means not only does he CARE about you, but he sees POTENTIAL in having a relationship with you. All he is doing is making sure you nurture it properly. People who build foundations like friendships before relationships often are the ones who prevail in keeping relationships alive. So note this as a good thing.
He wants you in his life, don't push him out like that. You will leave him hurt and confused- Put yourself in his shoes, apply your life to his own. Would you want HIM to lock himself up from the rest of the world because you left him stranded and pushed him away?
Know that you have people who support you through, and through, and know that you will ALWAYS have someone to talk to. Whether that be a friend, or a family member, or someone here on GirlsAskGuys. We will always be here for you... I've been clinically diagnosed with depression, but I have learned how to keep myself from that pit without medication. It's a mental willingness most of the time. Don't you even THINK about locking yourself from the world. You have to think in positive light. And that's what we are here to do; Make things positive and analyze the situations at hand.
I'm always here for you,
I hope that helped a bit, at least
XOX- Alycia
no, it's called HEALING.
i WAS SINGLE for a year and a half (even though a ton of guys asked me out during that time), my ex abused me, and lied, cheated, it was horrible. I was in the same boat as you ,but we can never be friends after this.
I just told him to f*ck off. apparently he's making his H* talk to me, but they can't because I have a restraining order against them both lol.
Take care of yourself. Don't let it get you down. Move on. Once you're ready, you're ready. There's no time limit for that. I took like one and a half years, I'm okay now ^_^
Nothing wrong with doing that if its what you want to do. The only problem is by doing that you may miss out on the guy that's right for you because you don't open up to him.
A better option would be to just focus your attention on yourself for a while. Don't close yourself off but keep busy with other things. Think about things you would like to achieve for yourself, things that will make you happier with you. As you do that you will attract guys to the confident happy girl that just focuses on what she wants to do. You will also probably find you are less dependant on other people and less dependant on relationships, rejection or being messed about won't hurt as much and you will be much happier :)
If it hurt you that much, I think it is perfectly fine to close yourself off, but don't let that change who you are. you have to come back someday. So the guy you really liked kinda dropped you, well time to move on. Don't let that guy know your weak, it won't make him like you anymore. If you do anything while closing yourself off, use it to think about how there are other guys, and you can't pick one guy and expect him to like you as much as you like him.
I think Meagan Fox is hot, and I like her but yea that will never happen.
Opinion
4Opinion
Fundamentally, people enter into relationships because they feel better off with another than with themselves. If you get better at being alone, then relationships will be unlikely to offer you an advantage.
This is a choice you will have to make yourself:
(1) Being alone - you will probably feel both less pain and less fulfillment. A relationship with yourself has no risks.
(2) Seeking new relationships - more risk, more pain, and more fulfillment
There is no right answer, only what you choose.
why would you do that!? that's ridiculous don't close ur self up and be a hermet for the rest of ur life. how do you think ur ever gonna find someone acting like that? ok just realize that everyone gets hurt but we learn from being heart and hopfuly use that new found knowledge to try and not make the same mistake. and also there is nothing wrong with being friends before you date...i repeat NOTHING WRONG with it. I really don't understand whey everyone thinks that you can only go out with new acquaintances. really the strongest relation ships start out as a friendship and grow from there. so just be friends and hey if all goes well then date him but don't be hurt cause he won't date right away..
I can be wrong, but you sound as if you're ready to take revenge against humanity and destroying yourself in the operation: a kind of immaterial suicide bombing? Just the way you write:
[a vow to myself I'm closing myself off no more emotions no more pity no more love or hate no more anything just a body with no soul.]
Yeah, it sounds bad and you WILL hurt people, including yourself. You might even be the first one.
On the other side, a certain thickness of skin is necessary. Just get the good balance. Open your good self to some people, do not expose your vulnerability to everyone. Pick the good one(s)
Yep, because everyone needs compassion and friendship. You cannot cut yourself off. Your only fooling yourself.
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