Shy boy meets the nicest, cutest, kindest girl. Please give advice...

kammo
Hi.

I'm a guy, 19 years old, and I'm very shy, and have always been. Talking to girls is so hard, as I can't ever see -why- a girl would want to spend time talking with me. My self-esteem is really low. Lately a girl in my class (I didn't know her before about half a year ago) has started acting really nice towards me, saying nice things, pulling my hand etc.

She seems to think I'm fun and smart (I'm kind of a geek). I had never imagined someone would ever say these things to me -- not even at home, and as a result, I'm baffled. Really baffled. Doubtful as I always am (very bad habit, prevents me from doing a lot of stuff), I’ve thought a lot about her being nice to me is just some kind of joke, but after months of this, and after I’ve made sure to notice how she acts towards others, I think it’s real. She is nice to me, for real.

I’m incredibly ashamed of being as shy as I am, having problems keeping eye contact, greeting people when I run into them in the corridors, and so on. I’m not sure if the girl understands exactly HOW shy I am (I turned out like this partly because of many issues at home, and my relationship to my parents is really bad, but I won’t blame them for the whole thing), and I think she is really disappointed in me, as I sometimes see on her face that she would like to talk to me about something. Even so, starting a conversation feels so awkward for me – I have no guts, at all! I also fear that this will lead her to think that I don’t care about her at all (but I do, with all I’ve got)! I can see what I think is disappointment in her eyes, quite often. And I feel so bad about it!

What’s a real problem is that after school, she always goes straight home with the bus, and I never ever run into her other places than school, since she lives in a different town. She seems to have friends here and there, but not a great amount at our school. I can’t see why, as she’s the nicest, kindest girl I’ve ever met. Nicer than anyone I thought I would ever meet. After gymnastics today I, stupid as I am, managed to walk past her without saying anything, and I find myself doing that kind of thing ALL the time. I wish I could somehow talk to her for some time when everyone else wasn’t around! Then perhaps I could try to explain that I really appreciate her kindness, and that I’m just incredibly shy and not great at dealing with people, even if I think they’re the best in the world!

Does anyone have any idea how I could do this? Or ideas about anything? I have to admit that when we don’t count people on the Internet, I don’t really have any good friends, and I spend most of my free time at home, reading, doing homework, listening to music, and so on. I’m not an attractive person, but not hideous either. Kind of slender, something which she comments upon from time to time. I do not have her cell phone number, I’m too shy to ask. Whenever she starts a conversation, I end up talking about school subjects and other non-interesting things.

Help :(
Shy boy meets the nicest, cutest, kindest girl. Please give advice...
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