Do men hide their feelings when they really have them?

[Anonymous]

So, I recently read the book "He's Just Not That Into You" and I'm convinced that men don't really like you unless they move mountains to get to you. However, I have been involved with this man for the past few months and I know I'm absolutely in love with him. We had sex three years ago (I went to middle school and high school with him and hadn't seen him after graduation) and he told me he thought he was in love with me. However, he was enrolled in the navy and had to go. When I saw him two years later (a few months ago) he and I decided to date. Two to three weeks later he told me that he just wanted to be friends and that he knew that was the typical excuse to brush a girl off but he wanted me to believe him. He told me he never wanted me out of his life. I took it as if he were just giving me a lame excuse but then I realized that he was serious when he constantly called me and always wanted to hang out. We kept having sex (initiated by him always) and my feelings for him grew. I figured he had no feelings for me so I kept my guard up. I am very smart and saavy and usually know when men like me and when they don't. When a couple of months passed we had a couple weeks where our sex changed (it became more passionate) and we kissed more. He was always kissing me on the neck or telling me how beautiful I am. Then, after I was sure he was developing feelings for me, I confronted him and he told me that he only felt like I am good friend.

He is a recovering alcoholic and just got in therapy about a year or so ago so I may be using that as an excuse but he can't seem to leave me alone.

Is he lying to himself and telling himself that he has no feelings for me or does he really have none?

help!

Updates

+1 y

by the way, the kissing was during sex, yes. however, he would hang out with me for hours afterwards and then tell me how beautiful I was even if we were just on the couch watching a movie. he could rub my back in passing.

[TheDigitalSaint]

He is using you.

Okay, I said it. Kissing does not mean you are in a relationship. A relationship is founded upon mutual understanding, morals, lifeview, interests, maturity and so on. Sex and kisses a relationship does not make!

He basically wants your body without the emotional commitment that goes along with a healthy relationship. He gets access to you, without really wanting to get to know the whole you. Your body is only one part of your soul and your soul is much deeper.

If I were you, I'd break it off with him as he's using you in a "friends with benefits" sort of manner. Just search this site for similar threads. Girls almost always think that because a man has sex with them for a while they MUST develop feelings for the girl. It doesn't work that way. We are very capable of keeping sex and kisses away from our emotional nerve center. That's how girls like you get used.

Seriously, help him as a friend who could use some support on his continuance to staying sober, but he is not relationship material at this point in his life. Friends with benefits is a misnomer and a really poor excuse for a relationship. Why? Because it is substituting the real deal (love) with something that is counterfeit (a physical act, sex).

You can be his friend, but nothing more. Friends don't sleep with friends.

[Killy]

Ofcourse men hide their feelings, all humans do, at least to an extense.

[bellmore18]

yeah I really think he has feelings about you.

guys will hide there feelings cause they want to look like the tough guy and not the emotional fag.

yeah that was a good movie by the way! =]

i think maybe you should give him sometime and don't worry to much

Don't base your realtionship off of something you read not every realtionship is the same

[spyderman]

Yes, we hide our feelings.

[spyderman]

I am pretty sure he feels something legit.