Which one do you want?
Girls, do you want equality or chivalry?
Which one do you want?
Both happens everyday and is usually what most women I've met prefer. Guys will carry heavy loads for them friends, stranger, gf, wife. Why? Because it's the nice thing to do, and it makes sense if you have an ability that makes it easier for you to do a job than others. As for the door, people should be holding doors for everyone, especially elderly. But it's traditional to hold it for a lady, there's nothing wrong with certain traditions. The only time it's sexist is if the guys staring at your ass on the way in. Btw for the ladies, who's being more rude, the guy holding the door for you or you for not saying thank you, or telling him off? If you see anyone in trouble you should be stepping up for them. But again traditionally this extends to women and children even more strongly than other males. Chivalry as it was is dead (besides they only treated nobility nicely, they raped and killed peasant women.) But modern day chivalry is alive in such things as buying a drink or dinner for a date, holding a door for a lady, or putting yourself in harms way to protect someone who can't help or at least additional help. There's nothing derogatory about it. The problem is when people seem to think that chivalry means that you have to treat a girl like queen or that they're too weak and uneducated to help themselves so your obligated. These are the misconceptions that have caused people to misnomer chivalry. They're why questions like these are asked... The real question should not be do you want chivalry or equality. It should be, do you want to be (taken care of like a your incapable and lose out on personal choices in exchange for having everything done for you) or do you want equality. Modern day chivalry has nothing to do with this.
Exactly!!!!
I think all human beings are unique and different from others. But, they are all equal. It's not about sex, it's about humanism.
So I was used to treat women equal and gentle. But, I recently understood that they don't want it. They want to see you handling a relationship like a "MAN"... They want you to be ATLAS carrying all sky in one hand, deciding all for them instead of themselves and be a little bit macho (but not being a jerk in the same time).
And when you try being chivalric, they call you an idiot because you treat them very well.
In conclusion, I recommend you to live your life. If it is suitable for them, they will join you living it.
i like chivalry. and I like equality. but I think women need to stop kidding themselves because we're whining about equal rights and how men aren't better then women and then we fuss about where all the gentlemen went.
in my opinion, women should be considered equal in intellect, intellectuals who are women should be just as respected as intellectuals who are men; we should have equal pay, a female accountant and a male accountant with the same amount of skill should earn the same amount of money.
but, I think women should also be subjected to the same requirements as men, the rules shouldn't be bent to accommodate us in anyway just so we can get a job for example. in some states, women who are trying to become fire fighters are having requirements slackened for them because women aren't as physically strong (you can't deny it, I don't care how much of a feminist you are) I think this is ridiculous because, sure, she gets to be a fire fighter, but who's gonna pay in the end? the old man on the 3rd floor of a burning building who the lady firefighter couldn't carry down the stairs.
i went off on a tangent, chivalry is nice, be we don't need to be treated like children...we need to be treated like ladies, so hold the door open for us. but not because you think we can't open it ourselves, hold it open because it's polite.
I think I get where your coming from. But hold the door for any one because it 's polite not just women. And there are some men who are not overly strong but physically demanding jobs are redily available for them. The thing is as these men work at the job, they get stronger. The same exact thing holds true for women. Also a lot of women are weak not because they are women but because of the disgusting gender roles that have been pushed off on them they are not physically active.
Ivarei - you are smart and on the ball. I wish I could meet you in person someday. I have met women who are very intelligent and deserve high paying jobs.
shf84 - What are you talking about when it comes to "men/women" adapting? Men and women are built differently physically from birth. That's genetic, it's how it is. Testosterone plays a big role in physical ability and sorry to say women have less of that.
I don;t think men are sexist useless pigs, and I doubt the majority of men think women are b**ches or hos.
I know how and when to carry myself as a lady. I am kind, genuine, respectful, considerate and tactfully honest with men, but I also know how to let my hair down and have fun.
If a man acts like a gentleman and is kind, genuine, considerate, respectful, tactfully honest and able to put his guard down and have fun with me - and this is important - is generally that way towards others too. that's what I consider treating me like a woman and it will delight me - I might even squeal with delight! :)
We want to feel like we are special to you and like the relationship we have is important to you. Equality and chivalry are not mutually exclusive terms. A healthy sense of balance is what matters.
Men and women are different. They always have been, and always will be, to some extent. I like equality, but recognize societal conventions and the fact that, physically, we are generally the weaker sex. In terms of chivalry, I can open my own door and pay my own bills, thanks anyway. I would like it if we, as a gender, that could stop looking to men for constant attention and approval, so that we could learn to be comfortable and confident with ourselves. I think that if that were the case, men would treat us with more respect, which is more important than chivalry and equality combined.
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Politeness is good, special behavior directed solely at women is wrong. I think a lot of people who answered don't fully understand what chivalry is and it's insidious nature. It's not about being polite, it's about being condescending to women this is about saying men should behave in certain ways because of their sex WRONG! It's also saying that women need to be taken care of by men, that's disgusting and shameful. Politeness is good, chivalry is vile!
If any woman expects a man to treat women differently then men pulling their chair out for them, running up ahead and holding the door that should be a big red flag to any man. That woman wants to push you into a dehumanizing gender role. She actually thinks your behavior should be dictated by the shape of your body and could care less about your mind and personality she want's to put the shape of your body over that! That's disgusting beyond words.
They are not exclusive of each other. Equality is reality. Men and women are equal to each other so asking that women not be discriminated against and treated like 2nd class citizens in the workplace and in life in general is reasonable and matches reality.
Chivalry is about the mating and dating process and in that arena men and women are different. They each provide a different energy and fill a different role in romantic relationships and there is no need to be the same in love or try and regulate the process of mating into some odd neutral ground where men and women act the same. Sorry, but I want to date a man, not some neutral gender that happens to have a penis.
Both.
I know that sounds impossible, but we definitely like it when you open the doors , pulling out the chair is a bit too much but there are times when we need help... and well that's when chivalry comes in. Equality is necessary, don't assume I can't carry that box, unless well, I really cant. Guys should definitely treat women as an equal in the sense that he doesn't assume she's this fragile flower, but sometimes we cant, and that's when its nice to be chivilrous. Plus its random acts of chivarly are cute.
They want both.
They want chivalry when its suits their whim.
But they also want equality when it suits their whim.
They want men to act like gentlemen, but don't feel obligated to behave like ladies.
Cognitive dissonance for everyone involved is the result.
Notice how none of the female answerers mentioned ladylike behavior.
they expect and enjoy chivalry, and they want equality -- and both, they say, are simple respect.
but did they offer anything in return?
nope. they want it all, but offer nothing in return.
so much for equity and respect.
we want both. we want to be treated as equals but we also want men to treat as women. we love to have men open doors for us but we also want them to know that we can open doors ourselves. we would like it if we could do everything a man can and that men treat us as friends and not things they can boss around. its kind of like the golden rule "treat others how you would want them to treat you" can't have one without the other.
I want full on equality, no different, special treatment cuz I hate it. But what about the women that do? I gotchu. Here's the solution. Ask if women or ANYONE wants special treatment from you before doing it, eg, on a first date; "do you want me to pay all the time?"
I hate special treatment, but it varies. That's why you should always ask.
they want something theyve allready killed
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Equality, The consept of chivalry seems nice but I'd rather be equal, however just because chivalry is dead, it doesn't mean that men shouldn't respect women and vice versa.
EQUALITY! I can take care of myself. I don't want to live off some man. I'll make my own money. But usually men are bigger physically. So if some assholes was like robbing me I would except my boyfriend to help me out, but then again I would expect my best friend to do the same thing.
I don't think all men are sexist pigs but some definitely are.
I am an old fashioned girl and I love chivalry, but a guy also needs to understand that I am not his little play thing. Both chivalry and equality have one thing in common... RESPECT. That is the most important thing for me, and I am guessing other girls too. Just because a guy opens a door for you that doesn't mean he is the nicest guy in the world. Respect, chivalry, and equality are like a package deal, you can't have one without the other.
Chivalry with the money of equality.
1. I don't think men are sexists pigs.
2. equality. I can open my own door. [i wouldn't get mad if someone else did, but I can do it myself]
im old fashioned so chivalry!
Equality.
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