I have a major weight problem.

[Anonymous]

I'll come right out and say that I have a major weight problem. I've had it my whole life. I've been working on it and I've lost some weight, but I still weigh 240lbs. I look more like 220lbs is what I'm always told. I'm 5'7. I always get told that I'm so pretty and stuff like that. Because I've been so self-conscious my whole life I'm painfully shy. I'm 17 and never been on a date. I feel like a guy would never like me. Even when I can tell that on the rare occasion that a guy is flirting with me I'm too shy to flirt back. With prom and stuff this year I worry. My mom made a comment to me that I would have to take my cousin to the prom because no guy in my school would ever ask me. Or she will ask me if I have a boyfriend and then she will say something like Oh wait no guys like girls like you. Everyone always says that looks aren't everything, but I'm screwed either way. Especially in a high school where all the guys talk about how hot some of the girls are and then there's me. Like there is this guy that I've had a huge crush on for about 2 years. I would tell people about the stuff that went on between him and me and how he acted and stuff. I even posted it on this site and people were always like it seems like he likes you just go for it. I would want to, but then I would think he's average size and really cute he would never like me. Plus he is also really shy so it's hard to talk to him because I need the guy to make me comfortable around him. Like this other guy that I kind of like. He is really outgoing and is always talking to me so I feel more confident about being around him. I guess I'm just worried that I'm going to go to college and stuff being alone. I try to hide it by saying things like I don't want a boyfriend and stuff like that and sometimes I don't. Then when I go to school and see the couples I want to walk down the hallway holding hands and I want a guy that come to my locker. I just don't really know what to do.

[Jarett]

I'm going to be straight with you and completely honest. You might not like what I'm saying, and I might sound like a d***, but it will be the truth. First off, you have no reason being 240 pounds. Even "looking" like 220 is not a compliment. YOU ARE WHO YOU CHOOSE TO BE! PERIOD. Yes each of us are different and have different metabolisms and such, and some people can't gain weight, and others it just piles on. But the bottom line is that you got yourself in that situation, and YOU CAN GET YOURSELF OUT.

For the last few years on Tuesday nights on NBC, there has been a show called the Biggest Loser. And if you haven't seen it, then you need to. Go to NBC.com and look it up and they have all the shows so far from this season. But it's about people just like you, who have basically let their life been controlled by being overweight. And it's about them working their tail off to lose the weight. And they all lose 5-15 pounds every week. Now granted, they have an opportunity to work out many hours a day, but that just gives them a slight advantage.

If you're tired of being overweight and want to make a change, THEN DO IT! Get a gym membership, hire a trainer, learn to exercise, to work out out, and to eat right. Bust your butt everday in and out of the gym. If you do it right, you can lose 2 pounds a week. And sure, after you're sweating, panting and completely sore from working out, and you only lose 2 pounds that week, you might think it's not that much. But just imagine in 2 months, losing 16 pounds. Just imagine in 6 months losing 48 pounds. Or imagine in a year being able to lose 100 pounds.

Would your life be different if you lost 100 pounds in the next year? Would your confidence be different? Would you walk different? Talk different? Think different? Would you interact with guys different? Would school be different?

240 pounds is a lot. And no good guy that has his life together is going to fall for a girl who doesn't have any self control in her life. And being 240 pounds, you don't have a lot of self control in different areaas of your life. But my advice is to make the decision, to take the plunge to transform your body and your life.

[Kacie]

Wow that was pretty prick

[Jarett]

No, it was up front and honest.

[jtj25m]

Kacie, as someone who has been in the askers shoes, No this answer very well probably isn't the answer the asker seeks, but I can tell you from experience, it's just the kind they need. And it was not rude or prick like in any way, as he said, simply honest. People often want to be lied to and coddled, which seldom helps.

[Littletad]

Keep your own mouth shut, do you understand me? I commented on your answer on my OWN answer. I'm free to do that. If you don't like it, cry somewhere else.

[jtj25m]

Well as much as I might be hated for doing so, I'm more inclined to agree with Jarret. But I have a very good reason. As of February of this year, standing only 5'6" I was weighing in at a morbidly obese 255. And yeah, I made my excuses, I blamed any and everything that was convenient to do so. Other than the one thing that was to blame, or rather person. Myself. I finally chose to do something about my weight. Busted my hump since February first, eating healthy, and exercising my fat (_|_) off, quite literally. As August 31st, I was down to a weight just within my healthy weight range, 154. And now I sit at about 142. Some things ARE beyond our control, those things we shouldn't fret over, but it isn't fair to ourselves to not change the things we can, and it isn't fair to others to complain about it or to lay the blame anywhere else other than where it lies. People who aren't attracted to someone who is the size I was aren't necessarily superficial. It speaks to a persons lifestyle, and their own self worth. And I know my self worth at the time, in my opinion, was extremely low. Of course, people being a jackas* to you like your mother, doesn't help, and is uncalled for. But if you are unhappy about things you can change, then you need to take the initiative to change said things.

[jtj25m]

Jarett* Dam*it I keep typoing your name! O.o the tired...it has me

[Littletad]

Replied to your comments on mine. While I do agree with answering with bluntness for better response, I think some things should be said in a nicer tone. One is, an overweight woman. Second, I commented on his answer on my OWN answer. I'm allowed to do that, as long as I'm not trolling on his. I made no jab at his intelligence, but only his question. If someone disagrees with me, they are fine to point me down and talk about it in their own answer. Or if they can be civil, comment on mine.

[jtj25m]

I missed the part where I wasn't civil. However one would think that 'keep your own mouth shut' (as opposed to someone elses?)was quite uncivil. But alas I do not get my panties in a twist over such things. Tone and meaning are lost amongst words at times. I was merely stating my opinion, as were you. You seem to be the one taking things out of context. If I see something I wish to respond to, I am as free to do so, as you are to comment in your own answer.

[Littletad]

Indeed, thanks for commenting. It is Jarret who first mentioned the "mouth shut". We've been through this twice I think. I usually just ignore his answers, but a woman is not like man in a sense of understanding bluntness. Some can take it to heart, others would probably only see cruelty instead of help. Congrats on losing weight btw.

[jtj25m]

Agreed, but then again, some men are the same=P I've often contended I was born in the wrong body, as far as gender. I tend to take things to heart more than most men I know. But with certain things I have experience with, being like minded, I guess I would think the kind of advice that helps me, would help others in my situation. Bluntness is sometimes needed, in my opinion, but never rudeness. And thanks for the congratulations, Its a great feeling one I wish to help others feel as well.

[rhicks603]

Being large is nothing to be ashamed of love.

I used to be 220 and I've been there. I want to advise you to go sit in a mirror and take a piece of paper and on one side write "What I Like" and on the other side write "What I Can Work On" on the what I like side put every single thing you like about yourself whether it's seen as stereotypical beauty or not. On the what I need to work on side write down what you genuinely think you do need to work on and also put down solutions because having just problems is depressing but when there are solutions you feel better knowing there's something that can be done. Now take the what you like side and pin it up on a cork board, put the what I can work on side in a desk drawer somewhere. Start pinning things up that you want on the cork board and use it as a map it can improve your entire life if you get to see those things that make you happy every single day. High School is always hell but if you think he genuinely does like you then ask him about it when you're alone some guys do have feelings and they will tell you about them if you'll pluck up the courage to ask. If he says no don't let yourself be devastated by it just tell yourself he is one in billions of guys who would be lucky to have me for all these things that are amazing about me. Now for the what I can work on take the things with solutions and put them into motion. If weight is one of them then grab an mp3 player and hit up the track, eat healthier because when you take care of your body on the inside it glows on the outside. I hope this helps you love. Don't give up you can always message me if you need last minute advice

[Anonymous]

lose weight then. stop feeling sorry for yourself and lose weight. you're young, it will be much easier to lose it now than waiting until you're 30 and have a host of obesity related health problems. guys will dramatically respond to you better once you're not fat.

i struggle with weight too so I'm just being honest because I know how hard it is. personality does matter but if you are overweight you are immediately written off

[sixonthebeach]

My advice to you is pretty simple. Learn to love yourself AS YOU ARE. Journal. Write down positive thoughts. Make one (or several) vision boards: "What I like about myself" "My dreams for the next year" "Things that make me smile." Etc. Be happy as you are. Love and accept yourself as an amazing and unique human being.

I also recommend you make some changes so you can live a long and healthy life. I recommend walking every day and learning to lift weights. Walking is great because it's good for your mood and is basically free. At your weight, you will burn a decent amount of calories. Lifting weights is so addictive. It's amazing because you can reshape your body and focus on being strong and healthy. You can even do bodyweight exercises (squats, lunges, etc.) or lift weights at home with minimal equipment (dumbbells and a mat). Please try, it is soooo addictive once you get started. Don't get discouraged, I promise you will learn to love it.

The last thing is, try to control your portions a little more, and learn to prepare foods in ways that are lighter. So, add more bulky, low calorie foods to your meals. Eat a small amount less than you do now. Don't make drastic changes, slowly adopt new habits that you can stick to. Drink a lot of water. Replace fatty cheeses with part-skim cheeses. Reduce the amount of sugar you eat.

These small changes will add up and make a difference over time. Don't make these changes just to fit into a mold. Do them because you love yourself and it's a great way to challenge yourself and care for yourself and live a healthier life. Good luck :)

[Littletad]

Ugh, please ignore Jaret's advice. He doesn't seem to understand that genetics is not something you can easily fight. I've seen many people do EVERYTHING they can to lose weight, yet they still don't. The only thing I agree with, is that you MUST make an effort to transform your life, and yes of course your weight. You might not be able to lose all your weight, but by making an effort, you will indeed lose some.

And of course, your self esteem. You want to know what's the sexiest thing about a girl? Confidence, especially in her abilities and traits. You must learn to love yourself, and look at the qualities that you do have. Everyone is special in their own right, it's all a matter of how willing you are to show it. If you need help to lose weight, just ask me, or look up healthy lifestyle plans on google. Dieting is not what you need to do. But rather a healthy lifestyle and better nutrition. Good luck. :)

[Jarett]

Nice, and who said it was genetics? Exactly. If you don't know what you're talking about, keep your mouth shut on other people's advice

[jtj25m]

It wasn't genetics with me when I weighed 255, that is an assumption, and you are assuming Jarret is unintelligent and somewhat rude. I wish more people had told me things like what he said, maybe I'd have gotten off my as* and done what AI did quicker. You may not agree, but that's no reason to say someone does not understand.

[jtj25m]

Jarett* =P

[Littletad]

You do not go around saying "yes if you weigh this much, no guy will go after you if don't have self control". That's like saying she's doing this to herself. We don't know that. We don't know if it's genetics, or her eating habits. So while he went one way in his answer, I went another.

What I DID say is that genetics is probably a factor. I didn't say it was in this case, but look at the question askers question. She said she's been like this her WHOLE life. This implies genetics.

[jtj25m]

I guess there is just difference in the way we take it. Most people wouldn't go for people with obsessive behavior, regardless what the obsession entails, drinking, smoking, eating. I saw nothing rude about that. And his kind of advice was the kind that helped me. I didn't necessarily mean to attack you, and if it came off that way I do sincerely apologize. Your comment about his 'not understanding is where I got the attacking his intelligence from, again different people interpret differently.

[Titi18]

Love yourself hunny. Life is too short.

[VikingWarLord]

Get on COLE ROBINSON'S "SNAKE DIET"