In all honesty the best thing you can do is quit your overnight job. I know you got it because you can't afford a baby sitter, but as a mother you have more of a reason not to work the night shift that everyone else does. The simple truth is that we are wired for a night sleep schedule. Ones you start screwing your eternal clock by working overnights, you begin to put a lot of stress on your body. It's an actual proven fact that people who work night shifts typically die sooner than those who don't. Because working over nights can greatly increase your risk of stroke and heart attack. On average people who work nights die 10 years earlier than those who don't and it does not take long for you start doing damage to your body by working overnights. I worked over nights for a few months and felt like crap for several months after leaving the job.
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Go to grocery store and buy some Celestial Seasons Sleepy time Extra tea. Make sure it's the one with Valarian root. Drink it 30 minutes before bed and you will sleep hard for you 3 hours for sure. I am also on night shift 10pm-6:30am so I totally understand. Also get ear plugs and a sleeping mask. They really help.
I have had this problem. There are two things that I would recommend. One is to start taking Melatonin. It is a supplement that is the same chemical that your body uses to set your sleep cycle. Take it each night at the same time and one half hour before you want to be asleep. You need to take it for a few days before seeing results. It is not habit forming and is non narcotic. You will not be drowsy from it the next day.
Second, get a book on sleep. There are a bunch of free sleep e-books on Amazon right now.
Hmm. Tough. I would grab naps when you can. Since your fiance' works days, why can't he deal with the kids so you can sleep? When does he go in--9? He can get them up and ready since he's likely up anyway unless if he works at 6 in the morning,
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