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Just ask her to do work out stuff with you because you want to hang out with her not because she needs to don't say that at all
There are some nice nature trails we can go on together, that will be fun :)
That's definitely a hard one because there's no easy way to tell someone something negative about their weight. Tell her that you guys should do stuff together like be workout buddies, go hiking etc
There are some nice trails we can jog/walk near us, I'll do that!
I won't mention her weight, it will just be a fun activity for us to do :)
Yeah definitely. Just keep it fun and do it regularly like during the weekend. Good luck😊
That doesn't sound unhealthy. That sounds like you being picky and selfish. I'm sure if you noticed her gains she has too. And if she is fine with it there is nothing you should do about it. If you're not okay with her body, leave her so she can find someone who is.
If you were concerned about her weight you wouldn't be commenting about her bum. A flat bum doesn't mean not healthy. It means less sexually appealing for you.
Most girls don't have perfectly flat stomachs like the media portrays. I bet her stomach isn't even that bad at all. This guy is a dick and wants to date what he sees on the TV. Typical teenage boy.
Sorry to break it to you mate but you don't love her. No matter how many times you say it, it won't get real. You only care about her appearance. What if she had an accident that left her with a burnt body, or anable to work out again etc. Accidents happen and people grow old. Do the girl a favor and break up with her, she deserves someone better.
If it were something she couldn't change I wouldn't care and I would love her the same. The fact of the matter is that this is something easily avoidable. She can't do what we used to do because she has no energy, and it hurts to see her in the slump. I admittedly worded the question wrong, but that doesn't break my purpose. I love her, and won't leave her just because she doesn't have the sexiest body in the world. I just want to see her happy and healthy again. In fact, I'm going to start getting in shape and inviting her to work out with me. We are going to walk some beautiful trails and be active together. You're right; I'm super shallow for wanting my girlfriend to be healthy. I'm a total asshole because I want to be active with my love and keep her happy. Damn! I care for her health! I must be such a prick!
Yes, you are shallow, I'm glad you see it. She gained a little weight... She's not anorexic or obese. If she is unhappy, talk about her feelings, not her weight. "Girls, how can I tell my girlfriend she should get in shape? " congrats Mr best boyfriend ever.
This asshole is the product society created.
Don't say anything unless she wants to. It isn't your place to tell her to lose weight because she isn't reaching your standards anymore. Wtf? Ask her about it but you are nobody to tell her to do it. If she really cares she will
I just want her to be healthy, why is that so bad? I'm not calling her any names or making fun of her. I would just hate to see here become unhealthy and let herself go. I am in shape and want a partner who is too, more so we can enjoy life together than sex appeal. Why am I the bad guy?
Here's how you ask her nicely: DONT. Like at all. Girls fluctuate from time to time and if she's happy in her body now you have no right to tell her what to do with her body. If you don't like a curvier girl, then go for a skinny girl and let her find a real man who loves her for her body and everything in between.
I'm a dick for caring for her health? I'm an asshole for not wanting her to get fat? Why is it that I'm a jerk for wanting to help my girlfriend? I never called her ugly, or made fun of her, or said I'd break up with her. I want to help her keep healthy just like she helped me. I want to be active with her like we used to. I want to keep my partner, my best friend, healthy and happy. She doesn't like not being able to run! She doesn't like not being able to the stuff we used to! Either help or get the fuck out. I am sick and tired of people treating me like a shallow prick because I am not going to support unhealthy living.
Don't act like it's only that you "care" about her health. You also mentioned that she's losing her sexiness. If you really had feelings for her you wouldn't even think that. You have no idea how love is, I think you'll understand when you're older, cause you're too immature to get it now.
Are you saying that emotional connections and relationships have nothing to do with physical attractiveness? I obviously care more about her health than her looks, but looks are still a factor. We like to say that personality is everything (it's VERY important) but that's not all. If a person you found unattractive treated you nicely would you date them, even if you thought they were ugly. My girlfriend is by no means ugly, and I do love her, but to pretend attractiveness isn't a factor is foolish.
Umm invite her to go jogging with you and if she asks why, tell her that jogging with your special someone is fun
Sounds like a plan :)
break up with her. If you can't handle her when she puts on weight, you don't deserve her when she looks good. So what if she puts on weight? Why can't you just accept that? If it's becoming a health or self-esteem issue-where she's overweight-then go running or biking together, but when you stop finding her attractive because of one flaw, I feel sorry for you. I'm sure you have many physical flaws about yourself.
I love her, and that will never change. I love her so much that seeing my girl, my best friend, become unhealthy legitimately makes me sad. We can't do the fun things we used to anymore because she has no energy. She gets out of breath just walking up stairs. I have physical problems, yes, but they do not get in the way of being with her. I have had three heart surgeries, but I still take her for coffee and tea. I can still run with her and she even helped me get over these problems and live healthier. I want to do the same for her.
I am getting tired of hearing people thinking I'm shallow for wanting to keep the person I love healthy. If you aren't going to help than I would appreciate you leaving.
Stop being so sensitive and defensive.
It's not like he came here being disrespectful or rude so you don't have to be such a critical asshole towards the Asker.
Look, from your post you went from her having a nice perfect body, round ass to flat ass and pudgy-even saying she is losing her sexiness which is part of her attraction. It didn't seem like you were more concerned for her health-since her looks are what you stated first. Maybe if you would have worded it that you were concerned about her self esteem and her underlying, oncoming health issues my response would have had a different tone. And leave? Where? Off the internet? Sure. There's many ways you can simply say that you are concerned for your girlfriends health without insulting her physical form.
You should break up with her so she doesn't have to go through feeling bad about herself from an immature person like yourself. I see you are under 18, you are clearly too young to know the impact of your words or comments on her. I feel sorry for her that she has to go through this with you... she deserves so much better.
I understand the impact of words quite well, which is why I'm asking how I can bring this up WITHOUT being an asshole. So far I haven't even mentioned it to her because I don't want to hurt her. I worded the question wrong, I can admit that, but I really just want to see her healthy again. We can't do the same fun activities we used to do that made her happy because she is out of shape. Why is it wrong for me to want her to be healthy and happy?
Exactly. This guy is a dick.
If you 'love her so much' it wouldn't bother you, and I think you're a prick if it really bothers you. But if you really need help, invite her out on runs and to go to the gym with you or something.
A bit harsh, but good answer. I think I worded the question really wrong, and that's why people are pissed. The looks thing doesn't bother me much, definitely no to the point of thinking she is ugly, and I don't really care that she's getting a gut. What I care about and what bothers me is her health has made an obvious decline now that she is less athletic.
I will definitely invite her to some activities that are both fun and healthy. In fact, there are some trails I would love to go on with her :)
Yeah, just invite her out on active dates. If she's suspicious, just say you personally want to get in shape and you want to do it with her because you love her and want to share it with her or something. I can understand why you'd worry about her health though, that's a good thing. Maybe just don't talk about the looks and instead talk about how her health has changed.
Yeah... I worded the question pretty badly. It made it almost sound like I thought she was ugly! She is beautiful and I love her. I just want her to be happy and healthy
It'd make for cute date ideas! But whatever you do, do NOT tell her she's getting out of shape. Call someone beautiful a thousand times, they'll still doubt it, but even imply they're not up to standard once and they'll remember it forever.
Thank you for the advice! I will keep it all in mind :)