Guys, how would you respond if someone at the gym started spotting you when you were doing fine?

[Anonymous]

So I was doing a warmup set of 16kg dumbbell press at the gym today and most regulars know me and ignore me but some guy next to me today randomly started spotting me when I was on my last set (I started struggling a little but not so it was dangerous) the rest of my sets I was repping 12 easily so only on the 12th of my 4th set I struggled. How would you react to that?

I just responded with a firm thanks, but I’ve got it, and carried on until he left, but now that I’m thinking of it should I have told him of for interrupting my set when I was quite comfortable with the weight and doing it right? Or would you have ignored it

What would you have done?

[Smoke-n-Growls]

I mean, if you weren't obviously struggling or looking like you were in danger, his only interest in approaching was to look down your shirt or try to hit on you.

I've been in tons of old school gyms with big guys: unless you're asked to spot, you don't assume it's needed. You just keep an eye out and rush to help if someone gets in over their head.

When someone knows they need a spot, they ask.

I'd say you were fine with your approach, but now you know you could try a more aggressive telling off.

I personally wouldn't continue with a stranger in my space. I know it's a bit psychotic to think this (call it force of habit from martial arts), but someone from a spotter position could easily hurt me if I had a loaded bar on top of me. I don't want to proceed with an unknown obstacle in the way.

So I would have stopped, locked eyes, and told him to leave. No need for being rude, just a fair request that he leave my space and let me work out in peace.

And if it looked like he was waiting for the bench, I add another set for every interruption.

[Smashingdoozy]

This has happened to me while squatting, guy just walked up behind me into spotting position, I said I'm good and he walked off but he threw me off so bad. I'm not usually confrontational but I actually walked up to him after and said something along the lines of "hey can you just ask next time if someone wants a spotter, it's really dangerous to just walk up to someone and distract them like that while mid set. "

[libsaretards]

I think you handled it correctly. He should have asked first, but his intentions were good. I think blowing it any further out of proportion would have made you look dramatic. If he ever does it again without asking, then be more firm with him and tell him you do not need nor desire his help. Actually had something similar happen to me last week. I was doing bench presses and was doing a ladder (this means doing reps of 12-10-8-6 and increasing the weight each time). One of the gyms "personal trainers" saw me struggle a bit at the start of my last set and attempted to grab the bar of the smith machine I was using (I was at planet fitness so no true bench press machine). I noticed before she did so and asked her to stop. She said I should not be struggling so much. I told her that was my last set and I am fine. I put "personal trainer" in quotations because she is one of the planet fitness staff who mans the desk. She looks very young and like she has never lifted a weight a day in her life.

[Asker]

Lol the PTs in those branches you can never trust for sure, but not their fault the qualification is an 8 week online course or something

[MotorcycleMan]

Well, it's quite possible that he found you attractive and wanted to get to know you, but putting that aside, I used to work out in a small gym with nothing but regulars and that was a standard procedure. The thinking is that you should always have a spotter on free weights like bench for safety. They can also enhance your workout because you'll push farther with a spotter there and go for that extra rep. Maybe two. You can also get in a couple "half reps" as your spotter lifts a little of the weight for you for full fatigue.
In that gym, if someone got on the bench, whoever was close and/or free would just spot, and typically the person being spotted would say "Thank you". Not sure why you don't want a spotter, but it's your call I guess. Just tell him politely "No thank you". No need to tell someone off for trying to help you get a better, safer workout.
Spotting someone isn't saying "I don't think you can lift that". It's just procedure.

[Anonymous]

Get the f.. k away you waste of human s... t! Just because your bitch ass can't lift itself from the couch after another marathon of doctor who and three packs of cheetos doesn't mean other people are as weak! I bet your younger sister curls what you bench press you tiny anomaly! I was about to break my personal best! AND YOU RUINED IT! All the presidential pardons so given would not be enough to excuse the sacrilege you just did... VOLUNTARILY!!!
I wish you a lifetime of people who don't clean the toilet seat. Tall people on the front seat of the cinema! Loud kids at planes!!! INDECISIVE PEOPLE IN BIG LINES!!! That's what I wish upon you!
Your own mother is ashamed of you everyday! She fears for society every second you walk this earth regretting the decision to not kill you as soon as you were born! Now get the f... k away from my sight before I rectify her mistake!!!

Something like that 😇

[Asker]

I enjoyed everything except the tall people part haha. Great creativity there must admit

[Opinion Owner]

Jokes aside I lift. And I would hate if someone did that to me.

[Anonymous]

Well, you admitted you were struggling a bit, I mean, maybe it was good just in case? You didn't think it was dangerous, but the thing is, it very quickly can be without realizing it. Having said that, I'm not you and wasn't there. And I'm sure it's a bit different for women. But I think you handled it how you should have. His intentions may have been good, even if not needed.

Reading some other comments, he probably could've asked you if you were ok first, or wanted the spotter, I agree with that.

[Anonymous]

i had a few steroid ego maniacs today at the gym try to one up me. I hate people like that. I'm half maybe 2/3rds their size and they still try to one up me with the weight lifting. and when i see them doing it i'm thinking yeah and you're also jacked up on 50-100lbs of roids too. and this one black guy who had a massive ego on him had his fat 350-400lb friend video him doing pull-ups on the bar while swinging up and down from the bar trying to show off. i'm like dude seriously? he's only going to post it on some crappy social media site to show off to his and your friends. i just can't stand one uppers though. why try to compete with somebody who's half your size worry about your own weight you're lifting

[averageguy4]

Happens here and there. It's honestly kinda nice because then i can go for an extra rep or two and start to fail without dying. Otherwise i have to stop when im close to failing, can't push the limit as much without a spotter.

[Feelicks]

Flirt and make him uncomfortable. Works better if you're also a dude LoL

That or just go over to the leg press and lift like five times his weight.

[Asker]

Might actually try the leg press advice lol thanks for that

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Ok either you did it too right or there was something wrong with you lifted weights.

You might be comfortable but as you said you were struggling he miggt have thought to help guys also help guys in such situation give some tips and move on nothing to fret about.

Or possibly je might wanted to talk to you simply ice breaker you know

[Levin]

Ah, that's why I'm glad I don't go to gyms. So many patronising idiots. Worse if you're a girl no doubt.

[Lazi-boi]

Just say "I got it, please don't spot me"

No need to be rude becaus at the end of the day it's someone trying to help

[Hairylegs222]

He wanted a closeup to look at your boobs maybe lol. Nah probably just helping since he noticed you were struggling a little on that last rep.

I've never had some stranger do that to me but I would appreciate it if I ever needed it.

[Asker]

I guess, but kinda ruined my set regardless eh

[Hairylegs222]

Hmm it can be a tough call being a spotter. The communication though if the person says "bump" or something then obviously help a bit. But he just went over there and helped regardless of you saying anything. It wasn't necessary of him it sounds like but he was most likely trying to help and be nice.

[InferiorElegy]

It happens to me and I'm a guy, honestly on most weightlifting equipment the say you should have a spotter Incase your body can't hold out anymore. Girls don't approach me and spot me but guys will come over and spot me.

[ughherewegoagain]

Or, you could thank him for caring about your safety? Why is it so horrible for a man to go out of his way to look out for women? That’s just absurd. Get over your feminist narcissism, it’s truly the most unflattering way for a lady to be acting. Yikes.

[Asker]

If you read that again you would see I was pretty comfortable with the weight. Also there’s no need for such a response

[libsaretards]

@ughherewegoagain I can't stand feminists, but I do not think that is the issue here. Even as a man this would piss me off. In fact it could even be humiliating. I see this happen at the gym a lot. I will see men who are about my strength level see a female who is lifting more weight than us and automatically assume she is going to hurt herself. Unless it is super evident someone (man or woman) is going to hurt themselves, I would leave them alone. That is just basic gym etiquette.

[Asker]

Thank you for clarifying this, I agree

[StunningANDbrave]

You're the text book reason why dudes want nothing to do with women, imagine being bitch because someone was trying to help you then taking a step further feeling like having a tantrum would be justified.

[Asker]

Wow dude calm down. What I think was happening is because my warmup set was heavier than his he felt justified to help me and everyone else agrees I think you might want to reconsider your answer or not answer at all next time

[StunningANDbrave]

I don't have to reconsider shit, I'm calling this situation what it is. Do you also feel the need to yell at people that hold doors open as they exit so they don't fly back and smack you in the face?

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

Do you go to the gym? When I am lifting I want to beat my best. I want to lift the weight on my own.
We are in competition with ourselves and unwanted help is the same thing as someone in bowling kicking the pins that were left.

[libsaretards]

@stunningandbrave Bro this is not a "female being crazy" issue. Yes, women do many many things to annoy men, but OP's response was reasonable. Imagine us men doing our thing at the gym and someone else trying to "help" us when we did not ask for it. We would feel humiliated. If she looked like she was going to hurt herself that is one thing, but it is very easy to tell the difference between someone struggling a little from effort vs. about to kill/maim themselves. Yes, in some situations women overreact to a man wanting to help, but this is not that type of situation.

[bowenw]

I would say thank you, but I'm okay, I'll yell if I need any help.

[Phoenix98]

Yeah the only the time I spot someone at the gym is when they ask me to. I never just walk up to someone and do it without being asked to first.

And I've never had anyone come up and do it to me either.

[JosyJosy]

I would be annoyed, disturbing someone during a workout especially weightlifting can be dangerous

[Mofunfour20]

I will never turn down a helping hand. Unless the person comes off as fat or bummy because thats a red flag for lazy or manipulation

[rcljr]

It’s actually thoughtful and in a lot of places required so you don’t snap your geek pencil neck trying to bench press a Buick.

[Asker]

My gym doesn’t even allow spotting

[BuffHeracross]

I'd be like "thanks a lot bro" then I'd make friends with them and we can be gym buddies.

[karaspara]

He probably came from a good place I think you handled it just right

[TheAfrikan]

I tell him man thanks but I can handle this, in friendly way.