My boyfriend looks down on me for not having a job?

[Anonymous]

I've been trying to look for a job since leaving college in June and me and my serious, somber boyfriend have been arguing about money! I'm more of a happy, less serious person and he hates that. He atmits he looks down on me and prefers a girl with a profession, yet I've become a qualified hairdresser (but can't get work). He says he won't live with me or marry me because of not earning. I feel hopeless and pathetic. He calls me a "chav" too which hurts me. In other words, low class. I feel stupid because even if I get a job, he says I won't keep it (I'm not good at keeping jobs) and even if I ever get to prove him completely wrong, it would be like it's never good enough for him! I don't know what to do? I love him but sometimes is "changing for him" even worth it. I want a job but feel he doesn't support me. It's the same when I lose weight he says he would dump me if I lost any more! Help!

[MzNatalie]

Leave him. If he truly *loved* and cherished you, he wouldn't look down on you for anything. Obviously he is not worth your time. You should be with someone that helps build you up not tear you down and if he does this already, I can just imagine what marriage with this guy would be like. Too many of us get stuck in these situations where guys think they are the *boss* and always know best for them and us. YOU know what's best for YOU. Fuuck that a**hole. You don't deserve it. If you stay you only have YOU to blame. You should have ZERO tolerance for emotionally abusive people.

[Animal_Girl]

Wow. Conditional love and respect, threatening your relationship with the way your body looks, and unsupportive? Sounds like a terrible boyfriend to me. If my boyfriend started saying those things and treating me like that, I don't think we'd be together for very long. How is that a loving relationship? Why would you want to marry this guy when he's constantly putting you down? It really sounds like you'd be better off on your own.

[TouchTheSky]

If this was my girlfriend I would never say him go found work, or do something which will hurt her.

Man must work to get his family

[7gnat]

In what ways does he not "support" you? And why is it that you cannot keep a job? just curious so I can answer this question better. Is he verbally and emotionally abusive? What do you contribute to the relationship? And is he truly constantly putting you down or is he asking you to find work and getting frustrated?

[erekmax]

Well, if by "changing for him" means getting a job, I suggest you do it. Getting a job and losing weight are positive changes and whether you stay with him or not, I'd recommend you look into both. The job for financial security and the weight for health.

[Shaun]

1) you need to get a job and provide for yourself

2) you need to ditch this man who is no good for your mental health

[7gnat]

yup!

[TouchTheSky]

Leave him, he don't deserve you.