How would anyone here encourage a partner who gained a lot of weight to start going to the gym with you?

Question

My girl has gained over 100 pounds and doesn’t work out. How can I mention to her to come to the gym with me and start losing weight. She’s very sensitive.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

What I don't understand is why after seeing maybe 50lbs gained, you wouldn't talk to her about it? Why wait until she's gained over 100lbs? Also did she have a child with you that maybe put on the weight or did she just gain the weight over time and how much time?

Does she have depression? I know that can really pack on the pounds. If so, it's going to take more than a pep talk to get through to her that she needs to lose the weight.

If you love her though, you would try to help her as much as possible. The best way to get through to her is by telling her truthfully how you feel but in a nice way. The gym is not the answer. Her food choices is what is getting her into trouble with her weight. If she has a terrible diet, then help her improve her diet by going grocery shopping together and getting better food options. Eat healthy with her and don't make her feel like she's some kind of pariah.

Then later on maybe try to get her to go to the gym once she's lost some weight through her diet change. It starts with her eating habits.

I've lost 30lbs so far just by changing my diet alone. My boyfriend loves me all the same but I'm doing it for me. But I know he would probably like me a bit smaller he just doesn't say so. He likes me whether I lose the weight or not though.

Perhaps you should break up with her if you can't accept her for how she is now. And work with her to change her eating habits and activity level.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

She would be better off finding a more accepting man.

Lokiion · Accepted Answer

(Second part is a joke but hey it could also work)

Just spend a lot kore time with her outside and plan activities such as biking or swimming. Anyways time for the joking part that would also work if you wanna be an asshole about it

Ok so peep game and lock in for the first method I want you to pay someone $5 to walk up to her and ask if she’s pregnant. And then pay somebody $10 to walk by her and say damn bitch. And then pay somebody $15 to go up to her and say damn you a big pregnant bitch. Method #2 when you go on vacation by her two airline seats just for herself the bigger she is the deeper it will cut. Another thing you can do is take her on a bunch of activities that fat bitches don’t like doing like hiking, biking, or rock climbing. Another thing you can do is when she gone narrow all the doors frames by 1foot or so and watch her try to squeeze through when she come home. Another thing you can do is weaken a step in the house so it gonna break when she step on it and then tell her fatass to go lay down but before that weaken the bedframe so it also breaks. It will work.

DextroShade · Accepted Answer

Dude this is unacceptable, and you need to man the fuck up and make that crystal clear to her. Fuck her feelings, she is disrespecting you by being a fat piece of shit because she is telling you that's all you deserve.

Massageman · Answer

Come up with some fun dates that involve activity/activities of some sort.

It takes about 20 minutes of continuous "exercise" of some sort before feel-good endorphins will kick in for her. Maybe you can go for long strolls by a beach.

147703 · Answer

It can obviously be a sensitive subject so just be extremely kind and supportive when you mention it. “I love you, I think you’re beautiful and I don’t want to upset you, but I think it’s something we should talk about, I’m concerned for your long term health”. Before just suggesting the gym, mention she should talk to her doctor about getting blood work done to make sure it isn’t a medical reason. In the meantime, assess what foods you are eating and see if you can be supportive and help each other find healthier but still delicious meals! Instead of jumping right to the gym, going for walks, bike riding, swimming can be less intimidating for someone who’s insecure with their bodies.

I’ve been on a weight loss journey myself, 50+ lbs down so far, I had a lot of medical complications. Fixing your hormones can make HUGE differences!! But slow and steady with support is the best way!

Be supportive. Be encouraging. Be positive. It’s the easiest way to give her the confidence. Introduce one small change each week. Doesn’t have to happen all at once. An easy one is like cutting out soda and sugary drinks like juice. (Having on occasion is fine but not every day) etc.

DubiousIntentions · Answer

Tell her you will give her $50 for every pound she loses in a year. If she can lose all 100 pounds you will give her a $2,000 bonus and another $1,000 towards some new clothes which she will need. That is like $8,000. It might get some action if words don't. Hell, I would take someone up on that offer if I were 100 lbs. over. You would be doing it mostly for her health, but some $moolah to sweeten the pot wouldn't hurt.

Isismoonie · Answer

Dieting is 80% of losing weight. Start there. Encourage healthy eating habits, an nature walks as dates etc. Whatever you do, do not tell her she has gained too much weight. That will destroy her.

I remember I went from 150 to 160. (I'm 5'7) My ex told me I needed to lose weight. I wasn't receptive to his comment especially when he dressed like a skinny slob.

Anyways, just encourage healthy eating habits and exercise and you should be good. If she's reasonable. Truthfully, she doesn't want the extra weight either.

Anonymous · Answer

I would phrase it by saying how enjoyable you find the gym, and the feel-good endorphins it releases. And that you found some great partner workouts and would love to do them with her.

Also sometimes people change. And maybe she was thin at one point, and just isn't anymore. If its that big of a issue for you, maybe let her go so she can find someone that will appreciate her and not be insecure about her weight.

I think its great that you dont want to dump her and actually incorporate her into your life. But if its for aesthetics and you can't deal, set her free.

Rei13 · Answer

There is a right way and wrong way to go about it, and that depends on her so adjust it accordingly. I used to be morbidly obese and I started going to the gym with a close friend that turned into my boyfriend. I think if you’re going to encourage her to lose weight you should go to the gym together and turn it into a couple’s thing and as far as diet goes eat similar things to each other. It is extremely hard to stick with a diet and exercise routine if your partner isn’t doing it with you. You can even just do fun activities together that encourage movement and just incorporate it into your life styles

MiddleAgedClimbee · Answer

Most relationships deal with this situation at some point. It's important to look back how you resolve the other issues or problems successfully and start there. A lot of people in the state don't like to be told they need to do something, it's more of a coaxing, so, that is unfortunate but it generally is of the reality. Highlighting benefits of changing an activity is usually a good starting point. Looking upon previous years and and noting how the relationship and life may have been better helps as well.

Siochfhradha · Answer

Gym is wrong thing if she's gained lot of weight. She'll be self concious. Use your brain.

Instead of getting after her - will just contribute to her lowered self esteem & cause her to eat more, again use your brain - print out a "diet" like Mediterranean as example.

Buy items on the diet. Toss out junk food at the house. Support her in trying the diet.

Then actually DO what real couples do and SUPPORT her - is it too hard? - by suggesting going for walks, hikes, etc. Even going around the block a few times.

Chevy1_kb · Answer

it's a nice thing to go to gym with your partner a wouldn't be able to trust the one i use to be with he would have fired in to them all but if he was trust worthy i would its good to go on outings together well me and my ex I asked him to go on lots of outing with me he said yeah but when it came to the point of doing it he said no full 3 years i was with my ex boyfriend we went 4 or five walks together and a cycle with his mum but yet the other ones he took to sea life center on other days out swimming he said he would do with me but didn't i never never got a answer to why and just forgot about it it sometimes gets in my head that I want a answer but i try not to let it get into my head to much a have better things to do on my own rather than think of him

love_conquers_lust · Answer

Get off your fat ass and go to the gym. Or I’m going to make you do all the work when we do fuck. Or you can start fucking yourself.

I don’t want to hear any complaining and bitching to me or your friends “He doesn’t touch me anymore”. Bitch, there’s too much of you. No can touch you because no one can reach you. You’re getting in the god damn way of your own happiness.

If I didn’t care for you, I’d fucking lie to you and tell you this was good for you watching you shorten your lifespan forsaking your wellbeing for the sake of your feelings.

petitedollbabee · Answer

Does she struggle with depression or other general mental health issues? Gym work can help a lot with mental health. If she’s sensitive about her weight, you could suggest to her that trying out the gym could benefit her mentally. But don’t put too much pressure on her. You don’t want to make it seem like she  has to  go to the gym. A suggestion here and there might encourage her to try.

Anemone978 · Answer

Why did you watch her gain 100 pounds before even deciding to tell her to go to the gym? I say talk about lets try eating healthier and say you want her to stay with you for a long time so lets go to the gym together to get healthy.. if she doesn't want to and you don't like it dump her.. and she can find someone who likes fat girls..

Drewtate · Answer

You are wasting your time. No amount of gym will help her lose weight. She's eating too much of the wrong food. Until you fix that she will never be able to exercise enough to burn off enough fat. She needs to fix her diet first and create a calorie deficit.

Dargil · Answer

Go to her MD and discuss Obesity. There is a diabetes-related drug being prescribed for weight loss.  Wegovy.  It will do what you  WANT  the gym to do. I was hugely fat three years ago and managed to lose 75 pounds because of illness. Would rather have used Wegovy.

artgorgeous · Answer

Just tell her that you're fat and want to go to gym to improve yourself and ask her if she can go with you because her support would be helpful.

Apple1996 · Answer

Tell her you are lonely at the gym and need her there for company

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

If she's put on a whole person the probability of her going to the gym off something subtle is pretty much nonexistent. I've been down this road brother. Cut your losses.

Billlewis · Answer

I love it when the woman I'm dating gains a lot of weight in a short period of time.

mynxx · Answer

Why did she gain it? Did someone die? Did she become depressed? If you cannot support her through a life trauma, you need to go find someone else and let her be with people who can care for her.
If she doesn’t care about making you happy, don’t force her, just leave; she doesn’t care about you. There is nothing you can do here if she doesn’t want to.

goaded · Answer

Don't be an asshole. Find out what is bothering her, if anything, or what exercise she might enjoy, maybe she doesn't enjoy "gym" exercise, or she resents you spending so much time there instead of with her.

ScisorsAndRaisins · Answer

I dated a fat girl, and I loved her body. But she hated her body, so it didn't work out. You can only do so much, and then you should just cut your losses and move on.

TrueConfection · Answer

Look through old photos together and talk about the great times you had. Maybe seeing pictures of her thinner self will be motivating.

Anonymous · Answer

You just straight tell her, there is no other way and there is nothing to be sensitive about, gaining weigh is very detrimental for health, it is not a joke and maybe if she doesn't take things seriously and is not self aware and open minded and just gets it as an atack maybe you should just leave her.

Anonymous · Answer

If it’s your girlfriend, don’t do it. At all. Just find someone else if her weight bothers you. If it’s your wife, just have an honest conversation with her and tell her what you like about her and dislike about her.

Sasha0426 · Answer

Ok, so according to one of your replies, you made up your mind of breaking up with her because you miss being with a thin woman. If that’s how you feel, do it right now the moment you see her.

Andro36 · Answer

Nobody gets to the point of gaining 100 pounds just because... There must be something very wrong with her. Obesity problems have to. do with mental illness. Suggest kindly to go to a psyquiatrist

Summeroflove · Answer

You can’t make her workout dude. If she doesn’t want to.

Kaamraj · Answer

Tell it to her face and if she's not showing the effort and results, dump her.

Anonymous · Answer

it’s too late now she’s gotten too fat, leave her and find a slimmer girlfriend. Tell her you don’t date hefalumps and leave. Sorted.

Staximus · Answer

Tell her if she doesn't stop eating like Shamu then you will have to get her a whale tank from Sea World

Anonymous · Answer

find out what she wants. It's usual opposite of what they dont want.

shades777 · Answer

tried it, failed several times with several women, you just got to pick a fit one from the get go

CrimsonAngel09 · Answer

Just break up with her.

How would anyone here encourage a partner who gained a lot of weight to start going to the gym with you?

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Would you exercise with your partner to help her to get in shape?

How would anyone here encourage a partner who gained a lot of weight to start going to the gym with you?

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Would you exercise with your partner to help her to get in shape?

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