Can I defend myself?

Question

I recently got into an argument with some of my friends about my strenght. Im 5'11, 170 lbs and workout for 3 years very consistently. I also practice Bjj for over a year and had a self defence straining. Im pretty confident that i can defend my self from most of the man. But some people arround me think that guys can still win in any scenario. Do you think i can defend myself? (Im not talking about some MMA scenario just a scenario where some avarage drunk Joe tries to be a bit too close with me in a club and I can't make him stop in a good way). If you have any experiences with something like this please let me know ☺️

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I would say depending on individual guys. Some you might be able to take them down if you're very familiar with using leverage in your osotogari, kosotogari, and how to compensate for height difference or longer limbs of the guy, etc.

I've been working out for over 10 years and had trained Jiujitsu for about 3 years, was at a blue belt.

If it was a guy who's overweight from physical inactivity, I would say that I might be able to defend against him, since I would react and run faster than him, so I'm not going to be afraid of him because of my gender.

I wouldn't pick a fight with this guy, but if he was going to attack me, l wasn't going to do nothing and say because I'm a woman, because I don't weigh as much as him, I was going to just do nothing.

Now, if it was a guy who's big from muscular physique and who works out, I would say that there's a chance it would be difficult to defend against him, since he could "muscle" you. I'm not sure if you've heard of people muscling in class.

I remember my Jiujitsu coach would say to some of the guys in class, sure they could muscle through this move/pass a submission, because they worked out, but if someone really knew how to use leverage, they wouldn't have the technique to get past.

If there was more than one guy, it might be difficulty to defend them all since they probably wouldn't approach you one by one.

I think it all depends on the individual guys and scenario.

Ms_Facesitter · Accepted Answer

I don't think you can. At least have a weapon ready or something. And use your training only when there is no other choice. Run if you can.
If the man, even if he isn't trained, doesn't care about what happens to you, so he doesn't hold back, I think the chance of winning going to be pretty small. We are also on the streets, you trained to fight following rules. Your attacker has no rules. He will use anything he has. And if HE has a weapon , goodluck. If he has a knife and again... wants to harm you and doesn't care if you live or die... your chance of survival are gonne be close to zero if you don't run.

GuyAnswersGirls123 · Accepted Answer

I suspect you'd be very safe from the average drunk Joe type and BJJ might be one of the best techniques to learn in such real-world situations.

Something I've found though even as a guy who trained in boxing and kickboxing growing up is that size still makes much more of a difference in real-world fights than I wish it did.

Even though I trained under a former kickboxing world champion and could hold my own in the ring as an out-boxer, I've lost every single real-world fight I've ever been in with even completely untrained guys much larger than me, and always due to submission. If I had grappling training like you, that might have helped a bit but it seems incredibly difficult to compensate for huge size differences via training.

Sometimes my bigger buddies in their banter tend to tease me being relatively light and smaller that they can kick my ass. I counter by saying, "You'd have to catch me first!" being a former sprinter who can sprint really fast. Then they say, "Touche!" 😅

VarantGuy · Accepted Answer

No... You clearly dont realize the difference in strenght between guys and girls. Your bjj training or strenght from lifting dumbells won't help you in a real fight. Im just 5'4 and 115 lbs and im sure i can take you to the ground easily. And against bigger dude its even more obvious...

Truthatanycost · Answer

I don't know why you are still wasting your time in those low vibrational useless places. But as for your question, an average untrained guy can win against a trained woman a lot of the time but that's why you use science (BJJ) and not strength. See the following video:

https://www.youtube.com/embed/gSd1PROCRiM

By the way. You will have a vast upper hand if you also train in over coming isometrics using a DIY or commercial isochain.

robhazelnut · Answer

My training without sparring is 3 years of aikido and goodness knows how many hours of simply swinging heavy objects around as if in combat. My training which included sparring is 5 years of olympic fencing, 3 months of armored SCA fighting, 3 months of bujinkan, a full day each of La Verdadera Destreza and Montante-greatsword, 3 full days of general HEMA and 2 hours of self-defense taught by a former American Special Forces soldier. A relevant game I've played 5 times is a group of people outside with the only rules being no hurting each other and the last person not pinned to the ground for ten seconds wins (jumping full-force sideways while twisting in a spiral is a great way of getting out of a multiple-person grab). I've never been in a fight where one person intended to harm the other.

I'm gonna say it depends on if you sparred in bjj against an average-body man and won.

Sparring is very valuable- it hones proper distance and timing. You'd do well to spar in a punching and/or kicking system to compliment your grappling. Kicking him in the nuts would be a fine option most of the time. If an attacking man is drunk and also average, then just keeping your distance from him would make him trip sooner or later. Running is a fine call against a drunk when there's space to do so. You look almost as explosively-strong as the average man, since men tend to have a have a higher proportion of type II muscle fibers. Basically, when we want a short burst of extreme strength, we can do more of it with the same amount of muscle. In sparring, I've regularly seen women be far more gentle than men, which is admittedly reasonable in training. You'd do well to turn off thoughts of being nice if and while a dude charges at you and backs you into a corner. Neither insane nor nice seems reasonable to me in that situation.

OneViewpoint · Answer

Depends on the guy. I wouldn't go picking a fight with a guy 6'4" and 250 lbs. The height, reach, weight is too far tilted in his favor. And BJJ is a lot of grappling and leverage. Think you can throw a 250lb guy? A 210 lb guy? Depends on you. You've had training. Most guys have not. Have you ever been in a bar fight or combat? Are you willing to seriously hurt someone, take an eye out, use a throat punch? Could you do it without hesitation? Because you may not get a second chance. Would you use a weapon like a glass, bottle, or chair? Can you counter a weapon? How drunk are you both. What's the environment? His turf? Your turf? Neutral turf? Some guys will back down if a woman hits them. They just won't go there. Some will react like a psychopath at the idea of a woman challenging or humiliating them. Best bet is for a woman to make a loud visible scene if you can't deescalate or signal the staff for an Angel Shot. 9/10 times other men will step in to cool the asshole down.

MisterWack · Answer

With the information of “5'11, 170 lbs and workout for 3 years very consistently. I also practice Bjj for over a year and had a self defense training”.

I’d say you have this scenario weighing in favor of you to protect yourself efficiently and effectively.

If you know how to utilize your fists, feet, knees, elbows, know how to keep a sturdy strong unbreakable stance, and know the weakspots of your opponent, mindful of your surroundings / know how to break out of a hold, counterattack. Then you’re good.

And if you know when the opportunity opens itself to run rather than stand your ground then I believe you can absolutely get away at the very least. If it is empty hand against empty hand then you can totally kick major ass. At least against a drunk guy at the club feeling you up, getting in your face, and being a total dick with no self control as you described.

I didn’t see this question until now while scrolling old questions, sorry just hope this lifts your confidence and allows you to pat yourself on the back for all that good training you do/did.

rigmarole · Answer

You'll probably get wrecked. The average guy is going to have a weight class and significant strength advantage on you. Guys that are very aggressive which would put you in that situation to begin with, are again very aggressive. They're the sort that tend to get violent over random shit when drunk and end up in street fights. One year of general practice isn't going to teach you too much unless you were competing every weekend at tournaments fighting 5-10 people that you don't regularly train with.

ItsMariusz · Answer

You're safe from the average drunk Joe, but with an average male, it's complicated. Nowadays, no one can defend themselves. I watch so many videos of guys fighting on the street after an argument; it's like watching two clowns in a circus. I think you'd be fine in a confrontation against a drunk guy, or even an average guy in Western society. However, any disciplined man, who is simply in shape, would definitely give you a hard time, and there's not too much you can do to change that except many more years of hard work or a weapon.

You are definitely stronger compared to the average woman and a decent amount of men. I'd carry pepper spray or something similar just in case if I were you. Remember that the drunk Joe can easily have allies at the club.

CindyRuns · Answer

I'd say likely yes, but, it's not just strength... there's some "technique" to it.

I've taught women's self defense classes at my local YMCA... worth going to one so you can be more confident.

All that said, I sincerely hope that my students never need to use what I teach them !!!

TrimmedTip · Answer

Absolutely — based on your height, strength, consistent training, and BJJ experience, you are absolutely capable of defending yourself in the scenario you described. Most "average drunk guys" aren’t trained fighters — they’re often uncoordinated, slow, and overly confident. Your technical skill, leverage, and awareness give you a significant advantage.

BJJ is especially effective for controlling and neutralizing larger opponents without needing to strike. In a club situation, you’d likely use positioning, sweeps, or joint locks to create space, restrain, or escape — not “win a fight.”

That said, self-defense isn’t about winning — it’s about staying safe. Your best tools are still avoidance, de-escalation, and escape. But if you must physically defend yourself, your training puts you in a much stronger position than most.

Stay confident, stay aware, and trust your skills. You’ve earned that assurance. 🥋✨

BadApple69 · Answer

I said 50/50 only because I don’t know you. You have muscles and some training but you need more than that. To win a fight you need to be ruthless, put all empathy in the garbage and not be afraid of blood yours or theirs. To quote Clint Eastwood in the outlaw jose whales “you got to get mean, mad dog mean”. And that 100% true. I am in a career where I get tested from time to time and any sign of weakness will be explored. So you can’t show fear (even if you are, and show that you WILL fight to your total demise without hesitation. If you can do all that there is a good chance you won’t even end up in a fight.
So if you are ever in a fight, strike hard, strike fast, feel nothing for your opponent... Oh yes, you're not in a boxing ring so there is no such thing as low blows so strike where it'll hurt the most.
Now do that and ill give you better then 50/50 😊

aceleon · Answer

scenarios:

-drunk average joe: you can, drunk peoples are weak and lame

- normal average joe: maybe for a while but you are ultimately the loser in the end so once you use some techniques, ran away immediately

- a skinny guy with low muscle mass and no training or skill: you can win

- a guy who at least has an average build and at least knows how to fight: you lose

- a guy who has enough muscle mass but still doesn't know how to fight: you lose

-skinny guy who knows how to fight: you lose

-strong guy who knows how to fight: rest in peace

The-Stud · Answer

Honestly, It would take considerable training to even match average random men.. however those who try to lay hands on women are probably loser wimps so you're good

Also training with other Professional men can be very advantageous

We had this girl in our gym... she used to always spar with us and of course we would go easy on her.. she was like a little sis to every men in the gym

She later thanked us all cause according to her sparring with men made her fights with females very easy

Sorry that was of topic

SotiCoto · Answer

So... your question is a lot of flexing, and then asking a question only you, yourself, would know the answer to.

What is the point of this?
You want my take? Fine. You'd probably be able to defend yourself most of the time against ordinary, individual guys... if you have to. And everyone else would probably be cheering you on even if it was basically bullying on your part.
If you were ganged up on, I'd imagine you'd have a far harder time.
But all of this is speculation... so... whatever...

Anonymous · Answer

Ok so let me be brutally honest, I have a brown belt in bjj.. been rolling since 12

But still I have tough time with newbies and even white belt males manhandle me

Plus unlike bjj, there's no restriction to punching in real life and the fact that men punch 162% harder than women on average is not something to be taken lightly

Thus for self defense I always use some sort of equipment like a pepper spray or anything

Anonymous · Answer

This is an increasingly common question, and it can be dangerous in a way because the politically correct answer can give women a false sense of security. The cold, hard truth is that there are VERY few women who could hold their own against the vast majority of men in a fight or physical altercation. It's not just about body size or fitness. There is a lot more to the differences between men and women than that. Men are built to be more athletic, aggresive and agile, and they have 30 times more testosterone than women, which makes them more aggresive and violent by nature. Even a man significantly smaller than you would likely neutralize you quite easilly.

I don't say that to discourage you from training the way you have. That's very healthy and good for you. But you should definitely not think you can defend yourself againstmost most men, because you can't.

Having said all that, I'll answer the real question you had here. Your body looks great.

Avcfhcic · Answer

I think against most average men you would be able to defend yourself, mainly because of your bjj training.
My fear would be that you become slightly arrogant because of your strength and training that a guy would be able to overpower you if they have more physical strength than you do. A lot of your strength is in your legs, a lot of men build their arms.
Depends who you face, and who has the bigger fight in them

tremendousfern · Answer

You're fit, tall, and have some training fighting so I imagine you could definitely hold your own in many situations. I would say just don't get cocky and keep your wits about you because a street fight doesn't have any rules and even trained fighters can get messed up if they're caught off-guard.

If you really want to increase your security I would suggest taking boxing classes and depending on your laws, purchasing a handgun and concealed carrying it.

lightbulb27 · Answer

I defend myself and half your strength and size. It's called use your brain:)

also no drugs, alcohol... doubt you do that anyways.

That solves most problems.

It requires knowing your limits and assessing situations. Even Mike Tyson lost a fight. Avoid problems and you can enjoy your life. Some scenarios are difficult to survive.

boggboss · Answer

It truly depends the issue is not training but the ability to not be in a situation where a stray hit or violence happens and your not ready the issue with fighting with males is in many street or bar fights it ends soon as it starts as the first hit can daze or knock someone out ti which point the training means nothing so its more so the awareness aswell before it gets their

Ashley1993 · Answer

It's always better to stick to pepper spray  My experiences sparring with men say so

HighValue · Answer

Only against weak men. Average men that don't even work out can beat most athletic women. And don't believe people that claim technique matters the most. When I was in high school, just starting out in martial arts I could beat a black belt instructor because of the great strength and pain tolerance differences.

A woman's best defense is often to have a good, strong, loyal, caring man that is capable of defending her. So, being cute and lovable helps keep a woman safe.

Phoenix98 · Answer

What's your ranking, training and experience? And do you have any experience being in a real fight not a match in a dojo but a real street fight?

Also from the comments I read and your responses I wouldn't advise underestimating a man because he's smaller then you and you think he might be weaker. That's mistake 1# never underestimate your opponent no matter how small, weak or unskilled you think they are.

rosemilk · Answer

if you have very good defense skills, why couldn't you?

Redstang88 · Answer

Short answer is no. Even with some training, even larger & stronger women are pretty much helpless against most men. Ex was about your size, I’m maybe slightly about average strength and could toss her around at will without really breaking a sweat

catsmemoir · Answer

I'm a former Marine. 6'1, 215lbs (muscle). Work out 5 days a week. I've done BJJ, Krav. I work as a bouncer. I don't know about "most guys" but you definitely couldn't defend yourself against me. Good news is you wouldn't have to. Because my job is to defend overconfident, underprepared women from the trouble they might get themselves into at bars/clubs.

Pohjolan · Answer

Clubs have bouncers so most people would be able to defend themselves in that context.

However if you really want to be able to defend yourself, you have to level up to firearms as well.

Most men would rather fight Mike Tyson with fists than a 90 lbs woman with a 12 gauge semi-automatic.

pascal_climbs · Answer

Of course you can, but the golden rule is: run if you can. Always avoid a fight. If you have to fight, remember that legs are a girl strongest muscles. Your body looks very athletic, so your body strength will be OK

Anonymous · Answer

Good one! I'm always impressed with how creative some attention/validation seeking women can be in finding ways to post their attention seeking posts without coming right out and saying "please give me attention and validation".

Well played, well played.

Mpodere · Answer

I'm also 5'11 and my weight is 165 but I don't work out, let's say I'm out of shape... taking a man like me as an example, why should he be stronger than you? just because you're a woman?

Zlantur2 · Answer

People who train for self defence know the difference from combat sports but good thinking for explaining. You seem strong and since you have BJJ brown belt I'm sure you can handle yourself in most cases. However, on the streets you can never know. There're too many variables like strength and skill of other person, weapons involved, space to run, walls..

RandomUser1000 · Answer

I don't know what the last J in BJJ is. But if you give me BJ I'd probably be to distracted to remember what happened before.

LaurenM1997 · Answer

I can’t defend myself at all there’s always people left , right and centre at me all the time and I just want to say your body is so beautiful not meaning that in a weird way 🥰

Nikki1989 · Answer

Against most men, sure you can. Men are loud with their opinions but very weak in reality.

Deepinthought345 · Answer

You're doing BJJ... there is no way anyone can get to you unless they try to punch you or throw things at you and run away... but if they stick around to find out I think you will let them know...

Staximus · Answer

Somebody could be the best fighter in the world or never have fought at all. All their plans and expectations for the fight go out the window when they get punched or kicked in the right place at the wrong time. There's no rules.

Summeroflove · Answer

Hopefully you can. Just remember there is alwhas someone bigger and better out there. A gun is the best thing to carry in a worst case scenario

exitseven · Answer

I had a female friend that is about your size and weight and she could really take care of herself. I det you could defend yourself.,

Anonymous · Answer

Lmao, come on girl, at least be honest about why you're posting this. Sorry but I'm not going to give you the compliment you're fishing for here.

KittygosMeoWW · Answer

Hard to say really, I was in an abusive relationship with an athlete and was unable to defend myself when the time came and my dad taught me to box and did some karate/ work out. He was taller though.

Anonymous · Answer

I am short but pretty strong and have good adrenaline. I can probably defend myself it need be.

ChicoFromThe305 · Answer

I guess drunk joes perhaps but I guess that depends lol

Jennz6 · Answer

You are fortunate to be able to defend yourself

Anonymous · Answer

Do you get frustrated or sad about men who are say.. professional fighters and can beat you very easily? I am just trying to understand your mind.. if you don't mind

NewUser22 · Answer

You are stacked. You should be insanely proud of that body you have built. Wish you went to my gym!

firenine909 · Answer

You can defend yourself. Love the hips and the panties there. Very hot

Anonymous · Answer

Even after being trained you had to compare yourself with average men because even slightly trained men would murder you  Girl you already lost 😂

OtterMan68 · Answer

can't tell. How good at you are fighting? That photo tells me nothing about that

Alina_980 · Answer

Definitely you can honey

Marriedman83 · Answer

You could defend yourself in a lot of scenarios. But if so big brute with farmers strength was the opponent I think you may struggle.

justabuddy · Answer

I'm a cage fight... probably not. But the average joe is not going to pick a hard target. They usually want an easy one. Avoidance is also better than going toe to toe.

Thatoneguy04 · Answer

Your pretty buff and have training in but which most people don’t have. I imagine you could defend yourself well enough.

Wiredone · Answer

I think you've got a good chance of defending yourself against the average Joe.

pethouse · Answer

Depends on what kind of fighter you get. I think you’d do pretty well on average.

Sim890 · Answer

I wouldn't stand a chance against you. You are too strong for me

jjj101010 · Answer

Think it depends on the situation and what u r trying to defend against

Anonymous · Answer

You're probably better off than most women; but I would still avoid confrontations.

Anonymous · Answer

I definitely think you can defend yourself.

msg321 · Answer

I love powerfull women.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Against most guys.

Adventurer23 · Answer

Like, in a court of law?

Iron_Man · Answer

Yes you can

Can I defend myself?

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