I have almost 0 friends- a sign that I am ugly/ unattractive?

[Anonymous]

I tend to be shy and never approach people who I am interested in. I also have very low self esteem and tend to be depressed. It also doesn't help that my mom calls me fat and ugly after I have gained some weight, sadly my only "friend" is my little sister who is much younger than me (16) and I'm a 22 year old, and the maturity level gets in the way at times.

I used to have people approaching me in college classes as early as last semester( about 6 months ago) before I gained some weight, now it seems like nobody in school approaches me. I feel like my weight gain is the cause for the lack of people approaching me.

In your experiences,are most people superficial in whom they choose to approach, even if it is just to make friends?

Do you find that the more weight you lose, or the more thinner you are, more people approach you?

[zickzack]

No, I can`t imagine such. It`s much more our charisma, which determininate our influence. It would be very primitive, if people would make their estimation by thick vs thin, tall or small, dark or blond, black or white and so on.

A luck for your mother, that I don`t see her, else I would "blow her the March".

[Asker]

What do you mean by your last sentence?

[kurozogo]

If they don't approach you , they go and do it your self .. I know that its hard to do while being shy (I am a shy person my self) but its the easy and fast way to get to know some more people .

[zickzack]

Ok it doesn`t give such saying in English. It means row, make a thunderstorm against a person or such about

[magnoliacrush]

Nah, my mom calls me fat all the time. Being a little bit heavy doesn't make you have less friends. It's the fact that you don't go out there to make friends. You need to stop waiting for things to happen. Try to be a bit more aggressive, yea?

[Asker]

But if I were prettier or thinner, maybe I wouldn't have to put so muh work into approaching people or making friends?

[magnoliacrush]

No, it really makes no difference. I don't notice any difference if I go into class like I just rolled out of bed and my hair looks like rat's nest versus taking 2 hours to make myself look pretty.

[magnoliacrush]

Guys would be more likely to open the doors for me though but as more making friends there's no difference.

[Anonymous]

Nah, you're just shyy. Don't beat yourself up, girl. You should challenge yourself a little. Do little things and build yourself up to it! Oh, and don't be aggressive, be assertive! :)

[magnoliacrush]

LOL actually you're right. Ignore what I said about aggressive. Be assertive :P

[Opinion Owner]

That's sweet of you to say. I respect that so much <3 CARRY ON FELLOW NOBLE CITIZEN.

[Log1414]

it's not the weight gain, it's the fact that you are allowing it to affect your self esteem and attitude. No one wants to be around someone who is a hole of depresion

[zickzack]

That is it! A depression can pull anyone also downward, that`s the risk.