Can I say anything to help my boyfriend accept my decision to get plastic surgery?

[Anonymous]

I have a big nose, big chin, and small breasts. I was bullied mercilessly from age 10 to present (age 21) because of it. There are many days where I'm ashamed to show my face in public and feel like people are staring at me and judging me because of my ugliness.

I have decided to get a nose job, have my chin shaved down, and get breast implants. My boyfriend told me he doesn't like the idea and that he likes the way I look already. While it's sweet, I think that my perception of myself matters most and I should be able to change what I don't like.

Is there any way I can get him to accept my decision, or at least become more comfortable with it?

[kriskiss]

Well from personal experience I had a huge bump in my nose and had it done years ago and I am glad I did. It made me more confident, less self conscious because that was the only thing I was self conscious before about even though I had girlfriends and that.

I am glad I got it done for sure. I was 21 when I get my done as well which is a good time to get it cause your nose has stopped growning to its potential. One thing though don't just go rushing to the first nose job dr. who is cheapest or nearby. I would definitely shop around and make sure you pick a doctor who will do his best to most accurately give you the new nose you want. I mean I know girls who have gotten nose jobs who in my opinion did not really need one or honestly I liked the way they looked before.

But I had a real bad nose and paid for it myself. So regardless of what your boyfriend says and protests he's not gonna leave you after you get it done regardless of what he says. There is the possibility he feels threatened that you may look that more attractive and men will find you more alluring and sexy and he may feel he could lose you. Some guys who are really insecure are like that. He would never admit to that but I bet you that is playing in the back of his head.

But it was the best decision I made in my life and never had second doubts. I had many more girlfriends after that not so much I think because my nose was smaller but because I was more confident in my own skin and was not constantly thinking Oh geez does she think I have a big nose is that turning her off. The only downside is it can be addicting in fact I have thought about getting another one even though I am relatively happy with my current.

But my concern with you is its not just your nose you want your chin shaved down and your boobs too. I mean I have a feeling if you get those done you could become addicted and before you know it you'll be getting fat sucked out, tummy tucks, botox, etc. trust me its addicting. I mean the nose is understandable if its big you can message me a pic of it without revealing your face and ill give you my honest opinion. get the thing done you feel most insecure about which I'm guessing is your nose.

but the chin is crazy ya know I rarely hear people get that done, unless you are an aspiring model or actress living in HOllywood you seem to be going overboard and you haven't even had anything done yet, once you do you're gonna get hooked. It is exciting though I am not gonna lie. Anyway long story short I would not get the chin done unless you look like a which or have a jay Leno chin which I doubt you do. most women exagerrate their ailments and insecurities to an absurd degree. plus you could look worse. and I say do not do the boobs. I love flat chested women no joke I really do. plus when you get older larger breasts will sack hurt your back and normally women with smaller breasts age better than women with very large breasts.

take it from someone whos had the surgery honey I know.

[Asker]

Thank you for sharing your experience. It's good to hear from someone who knows first hand.

I don't want to show an actual picture of myself, but my nose looks like this: link

As for my chin, many people tease me and say I have a Jay Leno chin. It looks exactly like this girl's: link

I can justify those surgeries as making me look less ugly. The boob job is mostly just wanting to be more initially appealing.

[kriskiss]

Ok yeah my nose looked somewhat liked that too but honestly a bit worse than the pic as I said I look much better and confident after the nose job, but as I said I may get another one in the next year. I want a really tiny nose always been self conscious bout it. and the chin is up to you as well if you think it will make you feel better than do it. just make sure you love who you are inside. my only concern is ull get obsessed with it. I'm tellin you its never ending we live in a look obsessed society. GL

[Anonymous]

I think it might be drastic to do 3 surgeries, and it comes off as you wanting to just totally revamp yourself all at once and that's a lot of change to adjust to.

What if you picked the one surgery you want most, like nose job, and convince him to be OK with just getting that. You may have already made up your mind to get the other 2, but he doesn't have to know that. It will look like a compromise.

Also, you might find that with a good nose your chin doesn't bother you anymore, or vice versa.

Lastly, small boobs really isn't that big of a deal. Fake boobs are more disappointing.

[Asker]

That's a good suggestion. Thanks.

[Amillia1981]

Your boyfriend wanting a G cup size is insane. You have the perfect cup size and most guys really don't like big breasts unless they are watching p*rn or something. You will regret getting implants and especially that size. I really think that you should get someone's real opinion on this but its hard for me to tell cause I don't know what you look like. If you feel comfortable then you can friend me and I will tell you if your overreacting cause that could be the case. My cousin is married to a Columbian girl and she has a big chin but she's beautiful and doesn't care. Its those feature's that make her the person she is. I saw a link of a nose that you think looks like yours and I don't see anything wrong with it to be honest. Boyfriends come and go and you don't know if this relationship will last so don't base your decision on what he wants. It seems like the only procedure he wants done is your breasts which is very selfish to me. I understand that having more then one procedure done at the same time saves money but don't do something that is not needed. Your chin I can understand if it really bothers you and your nose too if you think that its big which I don't think after seeing that link but I don't think that you should get implants. If you were an A cup then maybe but one thing that you will realize is that when you have kids, you will grow one cup size. I was a B cup and now I am a C cup and I am glad that I didn't get implants. If you want my real opinion then friend me and I will try to help you.

[peace-love-couture]

I say to begin slowly and don't do this all at once.

Start with the small issues first, then add on. To me, biggest to smallest would be:

-Nose job. I honestly say get this first because 1, it's the least noticeable and the smallest surgery of the 2. It'll give you an idea of what to expect when it comes to the chin or breast implants. I also say get this one first because the nose can really affect the appearance of a persons chin. A big nose can cause an unbalanced look and make a chin look bigger or smaller than it really is. So nose, I say first go for it and see his reaction. The ending results could mean whether he supports you furthermore or not.

-If the nose job wasn't enough for your appearance, I say, go for the chin shave but I'm kind of "eh" towards it cause I haven't seen any before and after pics, so I don't know whether you'll end up all scarred and sh*t or whether you'll look decent. But get the nose job before this. The nose can really impact the structure of your face!

-Then breast implants, since they're obvious. Only go up a size, cause then you look ridiculous. Sorry, but if you're an A cup or B cup, you aren't meant to be a D+.

Your frame isn't made for that...sorry.It'll look tacky

[bluewingedangel828]

have you ever thought maybe he won't like the look of the new you? sure how you feel about yourself means a lot but don't let others scare you into geting this stuff done. be thankful for a guy who loves who you are. you could be single and getting judged. so stop putting yourself down. I think you should just stay the way you are I'm sure your beautiful and look at yourself the way many of us do. we all hate our own image that others might love.

[Travesty]

Surgery is not going to fix your problem. People with self mage issues routinely get plastic surgery and still end up unhappy with the same things, or new things. It's a problem with your brain, not your body.

Therapy isn't an instant fix. People go through a dozen therapists before they find one they connect with who actually is able to help them.

[Travesty]

Oh, and to answer your question... no, there's nothing you can say.

[AndeD]

You have to explain to him that this makes you feel better about yourself and more confident as a person and also that you feel you can't truley be who you are without these changes. But keep in mind the girl he loves is the you that didn't have the plastic surgery and I feel like it could change how he feels about you

[taster]

I can understand about the nose...I am uncertain what to think about your chin...but I would definitely be unhappy about breast implants...is he more OK with some of these procedures than others? For instance a compromise might be to do your nose but not your breasts...(:

[Asker]

He says he doesn't like any of them, but he actually said he's most accepting of the boob job because he's attracted to huge breasts. He's said his ideal breast size is a G or larger, which is hard to find naturally. He's OK with implants.

[taster]

Wow that surprises me...because most guys don't like implants and 40,000 American women get them removed every year...I would think he would be OK with the nose job...oh well...O:O

[Belgie]

I doubt there's anything you can say to him, no.

You're making this decision because you were bullied, and made to hate your own features.

He doesn't have that baggage. He likes your features. Which to me, means they are objectively speaking not unattractive.

He will no doubt see your surgery in terms of what it is - agreeing with bullies that your face is ugly, and no amount of speechifying is going to make him agree with those bullies and you.

[byronbuckles]

You have definitely put a lot of thought into it, and you have some good reasons. I think feeling better about one's self is a good reason.

I would discuss the length of your issues and how important it is to you. I think he will come around.

[BobBobinson]

It sounds like you have more of a self-image problem than anything else.

[Asker]

Yes, I do have a self-image problem, that is true. I'm attempting to fix it with the surgery.

[BobBobinson]

Surgery seems extreme. Have you ever spoken with someone about this? Somebody that can help you with it, maybe a therapist?

[Asker]

I've seen multiple therapists and nothing has helped. I know plastic surgery is extreme and serious, but I'm tired of being miserable and the other normal channels haven't done anything.

[BobBobinson]

Well, what about just changing your hair/dressing style/ make-up?

[Asker]

I do that all the time. I've probably spent thousands of dollars in wigs, haircuts, new clothes, and expensive makeup. Some people are just downright ugly because of their unlucky genetics, and I'm one of those people.

[l-hedoniste]

"he likes the way I look already." This, is your problem.

He'll get used to the new look eventually, but short-term, don't expect him to be pleased.

[Anonymous]

could we maybe see a picture and make judgement for ourselves?

[Asker]

I'm not sure I want to share my picture, but I can show you pictures of features similar to mine.

I have a chin like this girl: link

And a nose like this: link

And I'm a 32B

[Opinion Owner]

im sure you look fine

[Opinion Owner]

32B is not small its a handful and not saggy they are the PERFECT size ask any man

[Asker]

To my man, the perfect size is a G. He has told me so himself. But him aside, many men have told me my breasts are too small and have said I'm practically flat chested.

[Opinion Owner]

well hun karma will get them. sure the men with no values love HUGE boobs but they pay for it in the end when that woman gets older and her boobs are dragging on the floor.

[Anonymous]

I don't see a problem with it.

If I had plastic surgery I would hope my girlfriend would accept me.

If not she's not worth it.

[Anonymous]

What if he breaks up with you over it?

[Asker]

Then that means he wasn't the guy for me. Accepting and loving me also means accepting my insecurities and the way I choose to deal with them. If he can't accept that he's obviously not "the one".

[bluewingedangel828]

no loving you is about how you were before the procedures. after them your going to be completely fake no mater how you look at it.

[Opinion Owner]

Ok. What if your surgeries get botched like Bruce Jenners did and then you wish you had left things as they were?

[Asker]

Even a botched surgery would look better than my current face. But I'm going to make sure I do my research and pick a good surgeon who is an expert in the procedure I'm getting.

[Opinion Owner]

It's an expensive lifestyle too. Breast implants have to be redone at least every 10 years