So I've been dating my boyfriend for a solid 6 months now. we've had a few bumps along the way, but they were all because of me.
he's expressed that he didn't like how I wasn't open with him, that I'm not very talkative, that I'm not confident enough to initiate things (like kissing or "messing around"), that I don't compliment him very often, I don't like saying I have a problem because I would rather avoid conflict, he thinks I'm not as 'mature' as him (he's only 7 months older), etc etc.
the only thing that's ever bothered me about him is that it seems like he gets mad at me often, and over-analyzes things I say to turn them around on me. these are things that I can get past, however, and I still love him and wouldn't want to leave him or anything
today I talked to him on the phone, and it pretty much concluded with him admitting he doesn't know if he'd be happier without me or not. is this okay? I know for a fact that I would not be happier with out him. I was MISERABLE when I was single. always depressed. but I also love him a lot, and I've always thought of him as perfect for me.
it really really hurts feeling like I'm not good enough for him, and that he's not truly happy with me.
he wants me to change for him, and although they are very reasonable requests (a few of them already worked out), does it mean that he doesn't accept me for who I am? maybe it's a pride issue, but half of me doesn't like the idea of changing for someone. the other half, however, thinks that if I love him then I should be willing to change. it's also killing me inside knowing that he doesn't have to deal with me if he doesn't want to. I know he could do better. it seems like I can't do anything right...
what do you guys think? have you ever had a boy/girlfriend who you wanted to change for the good of the relationship, or wanted to change you? how did you deal with it? what do you think about him being "unsure" about whether or not he'd be happier without me?
thanks ):
he's expressed that he didn't like how I wasn't open with him, that I'm not very talkative, that I'm not confident enough to initiate things (like kissing or "messing around"), that I don't compliment him very often, I don't like saying I have a problem because I would rather avoid conflict, he thinks I'm not as 'mature' as him (he's only 7 months older), etc etc.
the only thing that's ever bothered me about him is that it seems like he gets mad at me often, and over-analyzes things I say to turn them around on me. these are things that I can get past, however, and I still love him and wouldn't want to leave him or anything
today I talked to him on the phone, and it pretty much concluded with him admitting he doesn't know if he'd be happier without me or not. is this okay? I know for a fact that I would not be happier with out him. I was MISERABLE when I was single. always depressed. but I also love him a lot, and I've always thought of him as perfect for me.
it really really hurts feeling like I'm not good enough for him, and that he's not truly happy with me.
he wants me to change for him, and although they are very reasonable requests (a few of them already worked out), does it mean that he doesn't accept me for who I am? maybe it's a pride issue, but half of me doesn't like the idea of changing for someone. the other half, however, thinks that if I love him then I should be willing to change. it's also killing me inside knowing that he doesn't have to deal with me if he doesn't want to. I know he could do better. it seems like I can't do anything right...
what do you guys think? have you ever had a boy/girlfriend who you wanted to change for the good of the relationship, or wanted to change you? how did you deal with it? what do you think about him being "unsure" about whether or not he'd be happier without me?
thanks ):
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