Is this cheating or something I should confess?

[Anonymous]

I'm using my friend's account btw so don't message me personally if you have questions just write it below.

My boyfriend and I are both 21. We have been together for one year. Before we were official, (we were not boyfriend and girlfriend but we were "together") I pecked a guy friend on the lips without thinking, like in a friendly way to say hello, and on another occasion, I changed in front of a guy friend (I didn't take off my underpants or bra though) because he was helping me pick what to wear (plus he might have been looking away, we were just in the same room). Early in our relationship I was having trouble determining the difference between what I couldn't and could do with my friends, but neither of these incidents were meant to be sexual or romantic. Even though it's been a year since then, I still feel guilty, but I know my boyfriend will think more of this than he needs to. If I found out he did these things at that time in our relationship I probably wouldn't mind since we weren't official yet. I just know my boyfriend tends to get jealous easily because he is slightly overweight and very short and I get the sense that he feels really bad about himself.

[DieToWin]

If you want my opinion... I think.. leave it.. don't feel guilty. If it was before you were official and since it was nothing sexual or done with feeling or intimacy with anyone. Just leave it. There is no sense in having him make a big deal out of something that is done and past. Now if you like made out with someone or slept with someone or something of the sort during this time, then that's different. But if it was just a hello peck and just changing real quick, its nothing big and honestly, nothing that needs to be blown up out of proportion. I wouldn't say this is ok to do now that you are within the relationship, even tho still nothing to big. Just stay clear from it now. I don't think you should beat yourself up over it. You didn't make out with someone or share some passionate moment with someone. Its not big deal. I know I wouldn't get upset about it. Tho I'm sure id probably give my girlfriend some crap like "blah you kissed some guy, and I should be the only one to see you undressed" and all that good stuff. But I personally wouldn't freak out over it, but you said you are afraid he might. Which is why I say just keep quiet about it. Not point in putting up a dent in the relationship when there is no need to be. I say just don't even tell him. I am all for being honest with your significant other. I believe you should be open about everything. but some things are just pointless to tell. Sooo... honestly... Just don't worry about it. If you REALLY wanna tell him about it. you should tell him it was like way back when before you and him even started having feelings for each other and that you promise nothing like that will ever happen again. But yea... other than that. I say don't beat yourself up about it. it shouldnt be a big deal.

[Asker]

Same! I would react in probably the same way even though I would know it wasn't really a big deal. I should just let it go...it was a year go.

[DieToWin]

Exactly. See its nothing that's really unfaithful, tho not 100% innocent. But see... its nothing worth causing a stir over. Normally the saying "what you don't know won't hurt you" is a bunch of bullsh*t since a lot of hidden things will truly kill us in the end. But in this case... it really won't hurt him. Its nothing. Nothing to bring up. Its just better off he doesn't know. Its nothing big or serious like you had a kid or something. So just leave it. or at least I think you should. Your choice =)

[Abbie-10]

if you consider this guy you are with to be like a "boyfriend" then don't kiss/or change in front of other guys.

though you're moves are innocent, they will hurt you both.

decide if you want to just be friends or are really committed to him.

tell the truth and explain to him what you are thinking, he may get upset but I guarantee he would rather know that you keeping it a secret and finding out later.

you need to think about what a boyfriend is, and what a guy friend is. there is a BIG difference. you have to make boundaries.

good luck!