Girl at work is comfortable around men, but not me

[Andrew1983]

This very polite girl at work, who is comfortable around men will aviod me at the reception area but will carry on around other men including women. Anytime I approach the desk she will turn away even when she not doing anything and I have paper work she will make an excuse to get away (there is at least two ladies on reception) when I sign out she will smile and giggle when I'm saying my goodbyes. She said to me yesterday: your not going anywhere. She also spend 30mins talking to me at lunch break, so she doesn't hate me. I think she has a crush on me? Or she's trying not to hurt me, because she knows I like her.?

Updates

+1 y

well I'm qwite atrractive guy, and I probably stand out due to a very distinctive appearance, we both have healthy lifestyles, Always seem to attract these types of ladies, I was qwite shy myself and blew my change at the last girl. So I'm going to go with my heart not my head, I will probably write her a note or something, so her co workers don't find out. If she was scared of me I would stop glancing


thanks for all the messages;) I will let you know what happens.But I will take this slow

Updates

+1 y

Today I was extra friendly that aqwardness wasn't there when she seen me because I carryed on and acted extra friendly, But the manger was near by all day, so couldn't send her a note. She starts 2 hours before me. and has her lunch at the same time as me( twice this week) 5 hour wait for a break is a long time. Would have been everyday if the other ladie didn't push her for a break. we talked for 40mins, she couldn't make eye contact,write away I said I'm not in a rush home, she says: no your ok

Updates

+1 y

I stayed at the office for an extra 30 min making conversation with the girls. I feel like a stalker, girls your so hard to read .

Updates

+1 y

Good news. Looks like the girl is finally coming out her shell,we have amazing conversations and lots of eye contact outside work. She waits for me to finish and and sometimes asks to leave early when I'm leaving (she will follow me out the door) she's avioding me as much as possible in work. looks like I only have to ask her out., witch I should probably have done today, when she deliberately missed a train to share a seat with me.


Thank you everyone :)

[LI-Bri]

Work relationships are dangerous. I know; I've had plenty. Wouldn't stop me from approaching a hottie, though. I usually begin "feeling them out" by offering them coffee in the morning, offering to walk them to their car (or train/bus/what-ever) at the end of the day and seeing how she responds. You can also try drumming-up some small talk about current news, events, hobbies, etc., just to see if you have anything in common. Nothing worse than being 5 minutes into a date and realizing you're NOT a match. "Screen" her first w/subtle, friendly conversation to see if you even want to go out w/her.

[TheStaff_Sergeant]

Either she likes you and doesn't want to make it obvious to you or your co-workers by limiting her interactions with you ( maintaining her professionalism and limiting office gossip), or as the others said, she could be shy.

Since you spend lunch breaks with each other, why not mention your weekend to her. Most people, in turn, will mention their weekend as well, which is often a way of learning their dating status. If she is available, then go for it, man.

[TheStaff_Sergeant]

@update. Why not dial her personal extension to ask her out or give her a call when she is not on company time. I personally would not leave a paper trail, just to cover myself.

[brownginger]

I agree with penny. She could be attracted to you and shy about it..if you think she is and you like her, that would be an ideal gesture to go out for coffee as friends, getting to know each other might break the tensed behavior of hers, so give it a shot..please for all women like her. I mean like us..cause I'm for sure very similar, when I develope feelings for a guy..lol OK, so good luck ..keep us up to date..i would love to know how your story turns out :-)

[pennylayne]

Why don't you send her a note on her lunch break? Or just ask her to her face. You could put less pressure on it by making it sound as if you would be going out just as friends. The fact she's not making eye contact sounds again like she's super shy. Try and casually say, "Hey, would you like to grab a friendly drink sometime after work? We seem to have a lot to talk about and it'd be good to get to know you better".

[Andrew1983]

She seems to be more comfortable around me,she was carrying on with me at any chance she got laughing at anything I said (like coffee time) I still stand back a bit from the desk because she told me I make her nervous & she can't concentrate . But she took her break 30mins before me. I must have come on to strongly(the words came out wrong) Is it possible she might be frightened of a one on one conversation alone, based on what I said to her in the kitchen? Am I making progress here?

[pennylayne]

I don't know what you said to her in the kitchen, but it's probably not you - just the fact that her nervousness is overwhelming her. Maybe the fact she took her break early had nothing to do with you. Don't assume anything. You've only got 2 options though - ask her out or decide to not make a move. She may be feeling a little confused herself as to why you haven't asked her out yet if you like her.

[Andrew1983]

I think she is off the rest of the week. I asked her in the kitchen, last Friday, what time do you finish, then - I'm not in rush to go home. Witch she replied no our OK. I think she knows I like her, she seems to be more friendly with me than she does with others. I think she needs more time. I did ask her if she wanted to hang out after work a few weeks ago on the train, to witch she flicked her hair forward, so I couldn't see her face. Or she's waiting for me to ask her out properly.

[primitive]

im that girl at work ahhahaha. I do the same to the guy I like at work...i honestly think I love him even...bad news bears...

what gets me to really want his attention is when he barely comes by my desk I get annoyed and I start smiling or blowing kisses at him..

soo it sucks to say but kind of ignore her and she will stop being so cold to you...

[pennylayne]

Sounds like she likes you but is really shy! This happened to me when I would start becoming attracted to guys I worked with. I could talk to everyone else, but as soon as that guy would approach I would feel my heart racing and my face blushing and I'd want to get away as soon as I could. It's quite awful to have to go through that feeling so try not to focus your attention on her as it will make it worse for her. Poor girl, she must be painfully shy when she likes someone!

[Andrew1983]

Thanks peeny. I do really like her, alot. One of the things that atrracted me was how well manored she was. I have spend a lot of time with her at lunch breaks and getting her home from work. ill have to be more careful on how much attention I'm giving her, and find a suttle way to ask her out after work for coffee.

[pennylayne]

If she's that shy then maybe drop her an email and ask her out. Then she won't feel put on the spot so much! When shyness and anxiety is bad this helps a lot, but it does lessen as the relationship progresses, don't worry! :)

[Tycho]

Yeah, she's totally diggin you man. I don't know about other girls, but usually when I like a guy, I tend to be a distant and attentive to others, more so than the guy I'm actually crushing on. It's not something that's done on "purpose" it's just a reaction of just being nervous or shy. I feel like this is the case with her.

[djvtech]

Are you a guy?

[Tycho]

No. I have a vagina.

[Anonymous]

Careful about workplace dating! It can be pretty ugly if all does not work out. Take it from me who has experinced it. I remember when I broke it off with her, she kepted telling me to quit! Screw that for sure.. To leave or not leave a job is up to me unless of course I get terminated or layed off

[Andrew1983]

Its just a temp job. But I know what you mean

[anonymousfille]

she likes you & she's shy...! I think a note is very sweet...I'm shy and I definitely think a note would work for me, it would give her time to process & some privacy.

[purpleballoons456]

Aww! It does sound like she has a crush on you. That is exactly how I act when I have a crush on someone (^_^)

[1diamond]

A guy does this with me. I do not think he likes me at all. I don't see the logic in that behavior if you like someone however shy they may be!

[1diamond]

I can bet you if a female asked this question the answers would be he's not in to you move on!

[anonymousfille]

if she does not care at all about him she would treat him the same way at all times, everywhere. when you have a crush on someone, you don't know how to treat them around people first because you're embarrassed that your feelings might get exposed, second, because you don't know if the guy want the other people to know or not how you treat him,let's say your extra sweet to him.

[Prof_Don]

sounds like she has a crush abs is going through great lengths to not let you know...prolly because she's afraid to act on these feelings and "get involved" with a Co worker.

[Prof_Don]

*crush and

[Bethany94]

Sounds like a crush. Or like someone spread a rumor that you're a serial rapist. Could be either one.

[Klaatu51]

she likes you without a doubt. that's why she is shy with you.

[kangaru]

Either she finds you attractive or she likes you. I behaved in that way when I saw someone I like too.

she might be a shy person

[Anonymous]

If she isn't comfortable around you, she doesn't like you. Avoidance = She thinks your creepy or weird. She doesn't hate you, she thinks you might like little girls, collecting knives or something. I would bail out, it never ends well.

[JamielovesKU]

Maybe she just doesn't like you, people do it to me all the time I learned to get used to it though

[Anonymous]

then next time have the conversation outside the office...if she stayed, it means she wanted to stay

[Andrew1983]

She finishes normally 30mins after me, so I waited on her, as I said my goodbyes she turned her back to me. She left a few minutes after me, because I spotted her at the train station (she must have seen me first) when I turned around I said goodbye to her at the station stop.

[Opinion Owner]

Ok, normally people aren't outgoing with everyone, and get stuck dealing differently with one person unless they like them, it's something people can't control they're afraid their feelings will get exposed. That also could mean she's inexperienced or shy. I'm outgoing except around the guy I like because I'm shy and inexperienced. there's no rational explanation of why she would act that way only around you unless, you're a guy with a reputation, which does not seem to be the case.

[Anonymous]

Yeah sounds like she likes you. Now its up to you on what you want to do about it. :)

[Rpetato]

She has a crush on you! When I have a crush I somehow become cold and shy

[qwer1234]

You've got bad breath.

[Anonymous]

You might be unattractive

[Anonymous]

she must like you.