Much Ado About Good Looking People

[pavlove]

It makes so much logical sense, and yet it's the most suprising and confusing thing when good looking people are often so insecure even if they act full of themselves. Let's explore this "phenomenon."

The Poor Hate Their Oppressors

I know a rich guy who was absolutely shocked that that the "ghetto" girls weren't attracted to him because he was so "preppy." Yet, this guy has gorgeous girls so wealthy they could be considered American Princesses super impressed with him because of his last name. But let's think about it, poor people are living in super crappy conditions while rich people are living in excess and laughing about it every step of the way. Similarly, good looking people so often seem to crave the respect of ugly people namely with the old "you have a crappy personality" so often thrown at them by the ugly. Good looking people need to get over this crazy belief that ugly people should want them or even want to be them on a conscious level. They're social equilibrium will of course create a narrative that favors themselves over you. Good looking people need to not care about negativity thrown at them because of their looks.

Ego

This is a lot more of the issue than much else. When you're accustomed to getting a lot of positive attention, when you aren't the center or even a passing thought it can mess with you. When you know you're hot and people treat you like you're not in messes with your reality and makes you internally question your value in ways it has no buisness questioning itself. Here's the secret--normal people don't have positive attention given to them just because of the way they look, so when people makes jokes about them or insult them harshly it doesn't really bother their reality that much and they can easily come back with something equally funny or cruel. The Egoistic pretty person says no--everyone has to think i'm amazing or something is wrong. That's just not anyway to be happy in the long run...

Why Didn't It Work?

Similarly, there's this question good looking people go through "why didn't it work?" Why didn't my looks impress these people? Why do they want something different? Why do I look the way 90% of the world would kill to look and I'm still not happy or socially that successful? The myth that looks equals social dominance is true somewhat in the larger sense that people will always always notice you and be attracted to you physically but it doesn't make you a popular person that people have fun being around. In fact, quite the opposite. Justin Timberlake had to spent four months on set explaining to his movie cast that he, in fact, wasn't an a*hole. This is a larger version of the apologizing many good looking people go through everyday and it is here that I say the onus is less on good looking people but society for being massively and collectively insecure in their presesnse. But for every disadvantage, there is an oppurtunity and I for one envision a world where good looking people are oblivious to their good looks--not arrogant nor paranoid about them...

[kaylaS91]

... can't say I agree with this take in any way. I could address each point individually, but I could basically sum up my entire stance in saying that you realize all of your points make it sound like just because someone happened to be born having won the genetic lottery, that by default makes them devoid of any emotion, or seeing other people, ugly or attractive, as undefined by their appearance?

Do you realize that the people who seem to judge others based almost entirely off of how attractive they are are the ones who fall furthest from society's ideal appearance? That lesser attractive people are the ones guilty of demonizing the more attractive either because of spite, it makes them feel more on level playing ground because they now feel like this belittling the more attractive individuals makes up for their own shortcomings, etc..
Quite ironic if you ask me.

Let's not forget that sure, beautiful people may receive more favorable attention. However, they will also be held to higher standards; more will be expected from them because of their appearance which is an insane idea. Whereas the lesser attractive will generally be given more lee-way. The only times I've seen attractive people benefit from their appearance in which that was the only possible factor was in receiving attention from creeps.

[pavlove]

you make good points my point was not to demonized good looking people (I consider myself one) my point was to help good looking people stop being a victim to the jealousy of others and to the ego that comes along with being better looking than others

[kaylaS91]

thank-you. &yeah I get what you're saying but I honestly think that's just fighting a losing battle. Like even if you say those kinds of things in the most neutral way, people who are super bitter about it will turn it against you still, saying that you're just capitalizing on the privilege your good looks give you and what not. That you don't 'actually' care, things like that. :/

[pavlove]

but you agree that good looking people should stop getting angry at the meanness they receive?

[kaylaS91]

Yea definitely. This whole idea that someone being 'attractive' in any way has a guaranteed affect on their disposition and opinion of others, by default being negative, is not true and counterproductive by creating more polarization between the lesser/more attractive. Almost as if the lesser attractive individuals want to emphasize this rift so that they can shift the blame for their own shortcomings to resulting from 'unfair treatment'. 🙄

[ClassicRocker]

It all is just part of wealth and status. Generally speaking whatever is more difficult to obtain is considered attractive. This is why people say "back in the day" fat used to be attractive, because that meant you lived a luxurious lifestyle where you weren't working all day and had plenty of food. i. e. the wealthy
Now, with all of the cheap calorie-dense food that is available as well as the shift away from physical labor it is more difficult to be lean, thus this is what we generally find attractive now.

[archiz]

that's true.
but it is actually healthier to stay lean though :P
it's also attractive cause of fertility reasons. you seem more youthful and productive.

[ClassicRocker]

@archiz
I mean yes that's true, but also only today though...
The life expectancy for men before 1900 was abysmal ~35 years for women it was a bit better as they made it to early 40's.
You were much more likely to die in combat, or due to starvation or illness long before the long-term health effects of obesity kicked in.

[archiz]

that's true

[Jager66]

I agree with this, so many cultures from the past with different standards of beauty, although a certain amount of symmetry is required to be attractive. Also if you made it into adult hood the death rate in the past wasn't that bad, the numbers are squed so low because of such a high rate of child mortality, literally only the strongest most fortunate children made it into adult hood.

[archiz]

hmm that is pretty true, Good understanding of people's pscych.
Do you fit that category or is it smthng you just observed.
It is true with me though, now I don't wanna sound arrogant but I am fairly good looking and get complimented a lot. So when someone doesn't seem interested in me or criticize me in a way, it puts me out of track. Like what did I do wrong? Did he not like my personality? Did I sound too cocky? So you always get to question yourself and have the benefit of the doubt like am I really as good looking as I think or is it just some kind of brain washing I have received.
Other than that when you gather money, looks and education there it gets pretty nasty because you become a threat to others.
Some are intimidated by you and others are jealous of you. also some would want to use the influence you have. With that you won't have any real close friends cause you'll always feel a sort of competition going on between you guys.
But in the end for you to be affected by this means you follow the same ideal unfortunately in a way. You start to value things that are more on the superficial side just because people value those things about you most of the time. Then you, as well will get paranoid or whatsoever every time you see someone that exceeds you in an area. Constantly comparing yourself to others is a bitch :P
but on the bright side it keeps you going to constantly perfect yourself. That s how you become competitive in society. yet perfection can never be achieved and you'll feel like sisyphus in the myth of sisyphus :P But hey as long as you are doing it with a smile...;)

[pavlove]

I am, yeah. But, I kind of am more impressed with my brain than anything else. To me, looks are such a subjective thing but yeah I'm in that good looking guy category--i guess kind of like how taylor swift was rich even before she started music--even though she had the status she wanted to be known more for her music.

[benthurber]

Beauty isn't all things to all people. As an experiment, I got some photos and applied to beautifulpeople. com

I actually made the cut, but what's interesting is not 'how' popular I am but the spread of responses. Some found me hideous, about half were somewhere in between, but I had several who found me to be beautiful. That's the key thing. You can be attractive to certain people, even a self-selecting group of attractive people, but not all. Don't waste your time on ones where there isn't mutual attraction.

[greg83]

The - huge- point that this MyTake misses is that beauty is subjective. It varies from individual to individual, and obviously it's very conditioned by social ideals and the media... but even within our decade, different men have different ideals. Some men love Shakira or maybe Emma Watson, whereas others think that a plastic PlayBoy bunny look is 'perfect'.

There are some commonalities - i. e nobody would like an oddly lopsided face, obesity or anorexia - but apart from that, there are lots of different opinions.

For example, a while ago, I saw a girl (can't remember whether it was on here or another forum), who had kind of a long, pointy face, with a pointy nose and big lips, dyed blonde hair, lots of fake tan... A few men said that she 'looked like an ugly guy' and another 'reminds me of lady gaga', whereas another man said that he thought her face was 'ideal'. And who's to say which of those men is right or wrong?

[TayTay21]

Any time you have something others want, human failings like envy and jealousy will show their ugly face. It's hard as an attractive girl to not get a little haughty towards others.

The thing is, when people start hating on your for nothing but your appearance and what it gets you, it's hard to feel neutral about those people. It seems like every guy I meet has at least two or three fat girls lurking around him who are mad that I'm getting his attention. Am I supposed to not despise them for trashing me at every turn? Fuck no.

[pavlove]

welcome back! little taylor

[ArtDent]

Much of your good fortune is unearned, remember.

[TayTay21]

@ArtDent Who the fuck cares if it's unearned? So what should I do, gain 100 pounds and disfigure myself just so narcissistic fat girls won't feel so bad about themselves? Get real.

[ThePetSquirrel]

@TayTay21 Get him!

[Jager66]

shake it off

lol :)

[Levin]

Good article, worth it for the line alone: They're social equilibrium will of course create a narrative that favors themselves over you.

Attractive people somehow have to wrestle an awareness of Nietzchean 'Ressentiment' with that basic human need to feel accepted and valuable. Might be an odd concept for many, but for the most part, internally, where it really matters, attractive people probably don't really feel it much of the time. And of course, whether it's actually worthwhile to build an ego structure around being attractive is debatable.

[pavlove]

thanks and i agree. i should read into that more!

[Anonymous]

I didn't really read the whole thing. Its not hard to tell I have good looks and I basically lucked up as far as genetics go. However, I don't consider "good looking" a personal achievement. I don't seem recognition because I'm good looking and I don't pretend other people should like me because of it. I know a few people who, prior to having met me, assumed that I would be hard to get along with for the simple fact that I am good looking. But I am really easy going and I enjoy the same things they enjoy, and my ego is far from bloated. People act like because you know you look good you must be conceited and its not true. Attractiveness doesn't make you some kind of outcast seeking attention or approval. We aren't cyborgs, programmed to all behave a certain way. We have different personalities, some more obviously annoying than others. But on behalf of good looking people, fear not, were just like you.

[pavlove]

I didn't really read the whole thing. -----writes opinion almost as long as the take itself... oh gag...

[Opinion Owner]

I read enough though. It sound like your just a hater of you want to get technical

[Opinion Owner]

My bad u went back and read it. I take back what I said

[pavlove]

lol : )

[RandomPerson1324]

Show your picture and let others decide if you are good looking

[Opinion Owner]

Im not trying to prove that im goodd looking i was making a point. You missed the point

[Zombie-Killa]

When your car breaks down you love the person who can fix it.
When you fly you love the pilot
When you eat great food you love the chief
When you are accused of a crime you love your lawyer, And so on... Some love is temporary and only last as long as someone needs you or can exploit you.

[pavlove]

interesting points

[peachblossomluck]

Beautiful people do feel entitled, because everyone does treat them differently. Beauty gives you a higher social status and makes others envy you. It makes socializing much easier. It isn't the key to the Universe though. It's repulsive to some, offputting to others. It's simply something three dimensional.

[TheNewJanie]

Let me just speak for myself for a moment. I look pretty good, and I know it. Other people know it too. But I can guarantee I don't feel entitled by my looks. I get surprised when other people envy me, because I'm no better off than the next person. Someone could be hating on me and the whole time I'm struggling to pay my bills or going through the same problems (or worse) as the next guy. I usually try NOT to be noticed primarily from how I look, because it doesn't mean anything to me and when it means more to someone else how I look than it mess to me, I feel like your going out of your way to make a point that looks matter, and they dont

[peachblossomluck]

@TheNewJanie How I wish you were right and if the world were an entirely fair, balanced and logical place you would be. It is animal instinct to either favor beauty or strongly despise it, no in between. It's part of natural selection. I dididn't make this up.

[Nuqood]

Meh, not really. I'm a really good looking dude, and I have a lot of friends who are all good looking people (like 7+), and realistically our supposed 'entitlement' is just how others perceive us, instead of what we're actually like. I've had a store owner not sell me earrings because she said it would fuck my face up, I've been outright cat called by women, I've had working women point me out during work, I've heard under the breath "he's so cute" comments, I've had women push shopping carts into me just to talk, I've had women migrate from one end of an empty bus to where I'm sitting. I've had women outright ask me to fuck them, shove their arses in my face, women on here have told me how hot I am, women have tried to cheat on their man with me, and I've had women literally cry just from looking at me.

You probably think I'm bragging, and that I feel entitled to that treatment, when really I hate myself and envy other people for developing personalities while I'm nothing but a face.

[peachblossomluck]

@Nuqood Sounds like you are tired of being singled out for your good looks.

[Nuqood]

Eh, I don't know. I like being good looking, and it's not an issue of 'I'm more than my looks; I'm a person, too', it's more an issue of me just not being on par with a lot of people because of being carried throughout life because of my looks. While other guys had to hone their skills talking to chicks and getting used to rejection and all that, chicks just naturally gravitate to me and take whatever mood I'm in at the time as a positive one.

If I'm awkward? It's quirky and cute.
If I'm a dick? It's confidence and roughness.
If I'm too forward? They're now immensely horny as well and reciprocate.

I can say the wrong thing all the time and women give me 20,000th chances. I can be completely out of my element and they just take it as aloofness and think I'm actively trying to be mysterious. It's just an annoying thought that other guys are SOOOO much better than I am, yet because of my mug I'm desired over them (well, at least short term).

[Nuqood]

edit: I just realized that we came to the exact conclusion...

definitely time for bed.

[peachblossomluck]

@Nuqood You need someone who doesn't gaf about your looks or doesn't find you fine.

[peachblossomluck]

I'd tell you to get your beauty sleep but it sounds like you should stay awake for 3 days to level the playing field for the other dudes:D

[Anonymous]

"Similarly, good looking people so often seem to crave the respect of ugly people namely with the old "you have a crappy personality" so often thrown at them by the ugly."

Since vanity intoxicates the self, good-looking, especially great-looking people usually become arrogant/very-arrogant.*
If you have never noticed that, you haven't paid much attention in observing people.

Some of the negative comments sure come from jealous ones; some will come from people who expect to be treated as peers, care for decency and respect, and find narcissism and power unattractive.

I keep myself clear of both ugly people and "beauties".
Being a "beauty" modified character in a way I would never manage to tolerate.
Just like all forms of being powerful does.
But then, I am an hermitic character, who loathes vanity.

In general, rudeness to "beauties" comes from envy or frustration for not being like them.

[oddwaffle]

Wealth, power and authority. The holy trinity of men. You have all 3 then you will attract people. Maybe they don't like you for your personalities but you know what you have and you know what they want.

[SakuraChii]

Although High school is a poor representation of society, I have noticed this with popular kids and kids with a good parental income.

[greg83]

'Popular' kids are not always more attractive, just the ones who are more covered in make-up and more arrogant. At least it was that way in my school.

[Anonymous]

I don't see anything I should apologize for being blessed with great looks. I'm good looking and other good looking people like me. Most people don't pay attention to me and I don't pay attention to them.
Everyone wants to look good anyways. I feel this article is biased towards being prejudiced against people with good looks.
This article itself is egoistic. If a person wasn't egoistic they'd celebrate anothers blessings.

[pavlove]

it's about arming people who are good looking with the knowledge that you will get hated on for your looks and you shouldn't expect it to be otherwise. i see so many good looking people confused that they are singled out by the ugly masses

[Meesterlijk]

These sound like genuinely hot problems to me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQHx_GPKccY

[sp33d]

"Why didn't my looks impress these people?"
This is a teenager's world perspective. The rest of the take follows similar suit. I fail to understand what you want to address with this take.

[pavlove]

lol how do you intend to prove it's limited just to teens?

[sp33d]

For I don't consider people who are deadset, obsessed with this notion of being noticed, to be adult in the head.
One could argue that it's more of an issue for women, but any accomplished woman knows what she's about and doesn't Crave for positive reinforcement, the latter is given anyway.

"normal people don't have positive attention given to them just because of the way they look"
This is the nail in the coffin. Looks is superficial and people that care about looks so unnecessarely much are superficial beings.

"The myth that looks equals social dominance is true somewhat in the larger sense"
Au contraire mon frere, looks equals social dominance in the very smallest sense possible. People, who are merely impressed by looks, are shallow.
An example: I give no advantage to somebody that Just looks good. I am not going to hire a pretty face just because.

[sp33d]

"envision a world where good looking people are oblivious to their good looks"
There is nothing wrong with taking pride in one's own good looks. From my point view you wish to deprive people of sense of worth to a degree.

I envision a world without envy, because envy makes people do stupid sh... but such a world will never happen.

[Eternallylucky]

They do generally hang out with others who are good looking.. I hardly see anyone that isn't pretty, hanging around them...

[jacquesvol]

I often see on Gag the question from 'hot' expensively dressed girls "Why didn't my looks impress these guys?"

The real answer is "Because guys are fed up with your kind of snobbish girls."

[rainlittle]

I know a rich guy who was absolutely shocked that that the "ghetto" girls
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what kind of BS he think he is?

[PatriceONeal]

Yeah stupid hot people. Good thing I'm only a 9/10. Whew*

[Stacyzee]

Good take!

[pavlove]

thank you!

[DizzyAster]

Man, fuck ugly people.

[JustinX9]

I wish I'm lucky in the looks department