The proper way to take a bathroom selfie with a smartphone

[Anonymous]

Most smart phones now come equipped with a front facing camera feature, specifically for taking selfies. Sometimes, the software isn't pre-loaded. You might be able to download an app to to do this for you, if your phone already has a built in front camera. If you don't have a front facing camera, or if you prefer taking selfies with the other camera, there is a better way to do it.

Yes, your mirror is reflective. Your smartphone also has a huge screen that the camera uses for a viewfinder. Put two-and-two together.

Hold the phone like this ^

1. Stand back, away from the mirror.

2. Flip the phone around, and point the camera towards you.

3. Use the mirror to look into the huge view-finding screen on your phone.

4. Use your volume or home button as the shutter to capture the photo.

5. Enjoy your selfie, sans the additional bragging. Because everyone knows you really just want to show off your ridiculously expensive phone.

6. (Optional for bonus points) Practice without the mirror. Take about 5 mirror selfies, and pay attention to exactly where you need to hold the phone each time. Get an idea of where you would need to position it, if you didn't have a mirror nearby, then try a few times without.

You don't have to hold the phone out over your head to get a great angle. With enough practice, you can figure out which position works best for you, and you'll be a Selfie Pro in no time.

[TheDevilInside]

I think I have better tips:

1. pull down your pants and sit down at the toilet
2. take a dump, but do not flush it
3. wipe your ass (or not!), then stand up, pull your pants back up (or not!)
4. stay in front of the toilet
do you see where I'm going with this? No? continue reading...
5. hold your phone as high as possible above your head at a 70 degree angle
6. take tons of selfies, make sure you include the toilet behind you
7. proudly post your selfie, displaying your achievement onh taking a satisfying dump!

[TheDevilInside]

Boy, do I miss Palek...

[LaDouleurExquise]

thats the hottest thing i've ever read

[LaDouleurExquise]

and i've read my little pony erotic fan fiction

[myTake Owner]

YES! Thank you! The title was meant to be ironic! LMAO

[Dandeus]

Correct instructions :

1. Acknowledge that only massive tools take bathroom selfies.
2. Put the phone away.
3. Do something productive that will boost your self esteem more effectively than online flattery.

[KillerTaco]

Just because a person takes "selfies" doesn't mean they're fishing for compliments or attention. Some people really enjoy taking pics of them self.

[Dandeus]

That's called vanity.

[KillerTaco]

W all partake in vanity. If you've ever been proud of your self for doing something that would be considered vain. If you've gone to get your hair done or go to buy your self new clothes that would also be a part of vanity. You want to look good or nice and want nice things period that's vanity. So please get off your high horse of "humbleness" you're being everything but that right now.

[Dandeus]

When you get a haircut and dress nicely you're making a statement about your values regarding public presentation and first impressions. There may be a degree of vanity in it, but not in any way on the scale of the narcissistic self-worship involved in your typical bathroom selfies.

[KillerTaco]

It is still vain. Just like a crime is a crime. If you partake of it then you are just as "bad" as the "vain" photo selfie taking "narcissist. Which we all are slightly narcissistic as well. You keep contradicting your self. Taking photos of your self is no more vain than going out and trying to find the best hair style or the right shoes to go with your outfit. Its completely harmless and hurts no one.

[Dandeus]

If a crime is just a crime, should stealing a bottle of booze be punished with the same severity as a mass murderer? They are both crimes, after all.

[myTake Owner]

Thank you. I agree! I hate camera whores, almost as much I hate seeing their nasty bathrooms.

[jjodllwedo]

or you know... you build up your selfconfidence good enough to stop taking selfies and have people confirm to you if you look nice or not.

[myTake Owner]

Yes! I hate camera whores, but I also hate it when they want me to rate their dirty bathroom.

[jjodllwedo]

there's no diffrence inbetween being a camera whore and someone who takes selfies. no diffrence at all

[sawno]

Alright i tried, how is this?
www.szwecjadzisiaj.pl/.../selfie2.jpg

[JackKerouac77]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

[Anonymous]

Not like this

www.google.com/search

[emilyg25]

That is an awesome idea! Never would have thought of using the mirror to see how the picture will turn out

[airflow]

I don't always take selfies in the bathroom but when I do I make sure there is the shit in toilet ( :

[Zango91]

Alternative : Find a monkey with a DSLR and tell him how much you love amateur photographers with pro-like talent.

[bubble_tea]

I don't trust them...

[Zango91]

@bubble_tea Ha ha. :) :) Get one of those loooooooong selfie sticks :)

[SecretSomeone]

Or don't take a selfie in the bathroom.

[mutedaisy]

Take 2 seconds to clean the mirror :P

[BertMacklinFBI]

so many dirty disgusting mirrors that people don't clean and still have the guts to post that shit on Instagram. hahaa!

[Anonymous]

Open ended question, but should you really be taking a selfie in the bathroom? What good can come out of it?

[babu_001]

8. Make sure the smartphone has a high quality camera

9. Have enough light in the bathroom.

[JosefK]

7. Dont show the rotten moldy tiles in the frame

[PsyNoodles]

Ew do you not clean your house like at least once a week? Maybe once every two weeks? Once a month? WTF how do you have dirty tiles I'm just a little shocked thats all xD

[JosefK]

my tiles are gleaming actually... I might enter them in a clean tile competition... Im talking about all the amateur photos online taken in bathrooms and kitchens - yukkk.. if you dont believe me I can send you some links... you will be shocked

[bubble_tea]

thank you so much... I needed to read this.

[bubble_tea]

now.. what do you do when you have short arms and by doing it your way you can only capture your face sans neck and forehead?

[zorro8888]

LOL trying to make your selfie game strong bubs lol

[bubble_tea]

@zorro8888 If I continue like this people will start thinking I had no forehead xD

[zorro8888]

Lmao have you tried holding the phone higher up haha or are your arms still too short XD

[bubble_tea]

@zorro8888 but then I get accused of doing 'angle shots' by people like @BertMacklinFBI...

[zorro8888]

Are you one of the girls that twists her head when taking a picture and puts her hair t the side lol like this
images.fineartamerica.com/.../...d-chloe-wells.jpg

[bubble_tea]

@zorro8888 no I don't. my cheeks are so fat, I need to cover from both sides :P

[zorro8888]

Ahaha you have fat cheeks and I have high cheek bones I rest my case (model status)

[bubble_tea]

@zorro8888 :P = I'm kidding.

[bubble_tea]

silly zorro

[BertMacklinFBI]

yo I so did not! :D

[bubble_tea]

@BertMacklinFBI you did in my profile or full face question..

[BertMacklinFBI]

I didn't say YOU do it because of that. and @cavmanier and I explained that there are many reasons girls do angle shots.

[BertMacklinFBI]

im just saying what I've come across the most are those girls taking those angle shots for that reason. not all girls.

[bubble_tea]

@BertMacklinFBI okok, you are forgiven xD

[bubble_tea]

my reason is short arms haha

[BertMacklinFBI]

hahaa yes! thanks :D you know there is a stupid invention called a selfie-stick lol.

[bubble_tea]

@BertMacklinFBI I only read about it in gag.. I have never seen anyone use it in real life and never seen it being sold. granted, I don't shop in the photography section a lot xD

[myTake Owner]

Use a behind the door mirror, they're better.

[kheserthorpe]

6. Make sure the toilet isn't in the frame. ...

[babu_001]

7. Make sure there is no poop in the toilet