A group of my friends and I were sitting down and having a conversation about marriage, and one of my guy friends piped up and said what I think a lot more guys are saying these days, and that is that he had no desire whatsoever to ever be married because he felt it was just a piece of paper and a way for some woman to milk money out of him, so he was intent on staying single for the rest of his life.
Fine. I can't change his mind, but just as he seems to know without a shadow of a doubt, he has no desire to marry, I know I want to, and state that I do, when asked. My grandparents were married nearly 60 years, my parents have been married 40 years, my brother 3 years. I had great examples growing up of stable lasting loving relationships in which of course there were hard times, but rather then turn tail and run, these people fought for each other and represented what I think many people these days have no earthly clue about. My brother who just got married, married into a famliy filled with equally stable married relationships, some married even longer than my grandparents. What is wrong with wanting that? With knowing you have someone to come home to, who will care for you and you them. What's wrong with wanting to share your life and your dreams with one another and support one another in any way you can? What's wrong with agreeing with one another that you want to do this for life with one another?
According to some people, marriage is just a financial contract and a useless piece of paper, but I would scarcily say my mother married my father, or my father, my mother for each others money or for some other unscrupulous reason. In fact, when my father first prosed to my mother, she said no the first time because she really wanted to sit and think about how her future life would be because it entailed having to leave the country and everyone she knew to move to an entirly new country where she knew no one. Those are some of the hard choices and things married people go through, but they do it, they struggle, they endure. I don't want to go through life with someone who's "insurance policy" on our relationship is that at any moment he can just pick up at will and leave because oh we're not married. Marriage forces you to put things into perspective and consider your commitments, your love, and asks you to ask yourself to keep fighting for what you agreed to all those months, years, decades ago.
This isn't about stars in the eyes, or a white knight, or wanting some big expensive fairytale wedding. Any married couple will tell you that's one day, that's one moment, a few hours, but a marriage is work and work you must be willing to commit to and do because the rewards far outweigh the work. If you're somone that doesn't want marriage because you consider it trivial or stupid or you watched as your own parents marriage crumbled before you and you're convinced it will happen to you, well everything in life is pretty much a gamble with no gaurantees, but I can't live my life fearing that something will happen to me or that I will ultimately fail because I may be missing out on my own happiness. My friend tried to convince me that there was no real benifit to marriage, but myself and my brother and now his children are the very benificiaries of my mother finally saying yes and creating a legacy with my father.