We slept together, now he denies it.

Recently, my best guy friend and I slept together. We drank and I got really drunk at his place. He, however, was completely sober. I was sort of aware of what was going on, but do remember snippets of that night. Before I knew it, I was naked and engaging in sexual activity. The next day, I asked him to tell me about the previous night, and if we had sex. He said no, but that I did undress myself. Four days later I confronted him again, and told him to tell met he truth. He freaked out on me and said that I was calling him a liar and that we couldn't be friends anymore, because I was creating unnecessary tension between us. So our friendship was over for about a day. Then the following day he asked me to come over again to talk things over. He said he talked to some people and had a clear head. He confessed he liked me more than a friend and I told him I liked him.

He was and still is in an open relationship with someone else, however, to complicate matters. We're back to acting as best buds and it's as if the situation never occurred. I'm so confused and hurt! Why won't he tell me the truth when I clearly remember activities that passed between us that night?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Quote:

    He was and still is in an open relationship with someone else

    End Quote

    That should be a clear picture that he knows he was in the wrong with sleeping with you- and was scared that he would ruin his current relationship for a FWB.

    It sucks that you got hurt; however, this is your own choice of getting drunk with someone that you had trusted. The judgement call is what to blame equally as much as this guy that had slept with you but denies it. Alcohol helps to create that false judgement call which got you in bed. If you prefer to not be hurt like that again- I would recommend avoiding getting that wasted that you were not in control of your own body.

    Is there anything else I can clarify? I'm sorry that the information was more hurtful than harmful; however, this is one of those reality moments where we all make mistakes. It is how we learn from those moments that helps us in the future.

    Best regards,


    • Hurtful than helpful - sorry... I was flustered while typing this because of work.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • It's not unlikely he's worried about being stuck with a rape charge. The laws are so unfairly in women's direction, he could go away to a federal, pound-me-in-the-ass prison if you try to come after him after he admits to it.

    That, or he feels guilty about taking advantage of you, as you are friends.

  • Probably because he doesn't want to hurt you. Do not have sex with him again, until he's really single and not in a friends with benefits situation with someone else.

    Or possibly, he wanted to save his own ass. He probably felt like he raped you. Which he most likely didn't.


What Girls Said 1

  • He probably feels guilty (maybe?) that he had sex with you while he was sober and you were drunk. It has the implication that he took advantage of you. He probably thinks you don't remember what happened and doesn't want to admit it just in case you would accuse him of rape. Honestly he sounds like a dirtbag if he would do that

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