Would you marry a guy who wants a prenup? (Page 2)
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Sure, no problem. I don't want him taking MY money either if we split lmao (that's if I manage to save it instead of spending it all on clothes lol)
I don't know to be honest. on the trust side it doesn't sit well. I completely understand the logic and applaud the idea, but I would never marry a guy who believed in divorce or would think it is ever acceptable to cheat. so does that mean I would be ok to sign one as we wouldn't divorce, I don't know its kind of a bad omen. And if he thought I was that way included we wouldn't marry. I have a lot of pride and feel very uncomfortable about money so if something happened I would rather be homeless or have a poor quality of life because every time I bought something it would remind me that it was his money. if the marriage is done then I don't want a reminder of him.
that saying if I was earning more I wouldn't ask for a prenup. he can take whatever it doesn't matter I was the one earning so I can earn more where as he couldn't. simple as.
And what if you are the one who divorces him and not you or cheats on him?
@singlebee I don't believe in divorce, If someone is at the stage where they are thinking of cheating then their are huge issues in the relationship that need to be addressed. Cheating isn't the answer. I am saving myself for marriage so would have the be certain before marrying that we are a team that can work. Marriage isn't easy and needs constant work. I wouldn't put myself in a position where the possibility of cheating could arise.
yeah I'd marry him. everyone has a right to protect themselves. say a doctor fell in love with a cashier, the doc wants to make sure the cashier really loves him and isn't just marrying him for the money
Interesting way to bounce the "but don't you love me" card back, I like it!
I honestly don't know hoe I feel about it. Like, to me it feels so untrusting. If you have any fear that your spouse is going to fuck you over if it doesn't work out why are you even marrying them?
Because you hear it all the time how they were 100% sure that they were marrying the love of their life and that nothing could go wrong. But it did.
@ThisDudeHere
Here's the thing tho... my boyfriend and I acknowledge that it's possible we might grow apart one day, but neither of us believe for a second that the other would ever intentionally hurt the other one. We just aren't that kind of people. My question to other is, if on some level you believe your partner is or might be that kind of person, why would you be with them in the first place?
@Sara413 I'm not trying to be a pessimist here, but people can change drastically over the years. I've heard so many stories where the wife swears how much she loves her husband and how she condemns women who are gold diggers and that she'll never become that woman herself. Later in the future you know what happens? Divorce. I'm just saying, you gotta prepare for the worst.
@dontknow12
If he wants to sign one, fine, but I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't be a bit hurt by it and suggest we take a step back and consider whether we should be marrying at all.
I don't think the problem most people have is getting married without a prenuptial- it's getting married when they really shouldn't.
I can understand why you'd feel hurt. Believe it or not, many men want to get married to that special woman we can raise a family with, but it's scary. Just from the reality that a divorce could ruin your life is scary. It's not the right mentality but it happens.
"I don't think the problem most people have is getting married without a prenuptial- it's getting married when they really shouldn't."
That's nice but naive. Of course such people 'shouldn't ' get married, but will anything stop them if they want to? No.
I will have to agree with @dontknow12 - people can change. A lot. Even good people. Darth Vader used to be a good guy.
@ThisDudeHere
Peoples basic values don't change...
Excuse me but yes they do. I'm one such example. I used to value other's opinions far above my own, even if there was no need for it. I can shamefully admit that I was a whimp a few years ago. Now, although I try to be respectful of others, if there is no reason I should give a fuck about a person, then not a single fuck shall be given, beyond basic courtesy.
I agree with this. I am married and my husband never had me sign a pre nup
I agree with the rest of the guys on this. My ex changed pretty drastically, especially learning that she kept stuff from me. It's a shame I only learned about it after the breakup and not before.
@Botchie
She changed... or she turned out not to be the person you thought she was? There is a difference..
@Sara413 I'm still trying to figure that out honestly. I'm looking back at it trying to see if there were any signs that I missed. Because we started off great, and then it went downhill real fast. Not really because of how financially dependent she was on me (hence why I say this on a prenup post) but because she started to not trust my word and not let me have any time to myself. I gave her no reason to ever doubt me and I always told her everything that happened as it happened. But until I find out if I missed something, she changed pretty drastically at the end of our relationship. She went as far as convincing all her friends to hate me despite every wonderful thing I had done for her up until then, that her friends praised me for.
"it feels so untrusting"
^^ I can understand this gut feeling -- and, if the agreement is framed as something that the man thrusts under the woman's nose for her to sign (in the same way that you click "Agree" or "Don't Agree" to the Apple software agreement), then I totally feel the same way.
But, the thing you have to realize here -- and the thing that totally gets lost in all this -- is that THERE'S ALREADY a "pre-nuptial agreement" IN PLACE when people get married. It's just WHATEVER THE CURRENT GOVERNMENT DECIDES.
So... It's NOT a matter of "pre-nuptial or no pre-nuptial". It's a matter of "do we just accept whatever the current government lays down -- or do we set out our own terms, should we feel that it's necessary to do so".
The other key element there is the word "we".
If the couple decides that a pre-nuptial agreement is something that's necessary, then they should sit down TOGETHER and execute it.
Honestly, it would be best if EVERY couple had to execute some sort of
pre-marital instrument -- just so that they could actually have some sort of dialogue about this stuff, and not just avoid the issue altogether until it's too late. In the same way it would be nice if there were some sort of mandatory counseling for couples before they got married, and all that.
If it were mandatory, then that would take away a lot of the feeling of opprobrium associated with it.
@redeyemindtricks I completely agree with what you said. With that being stated though, I do not like the bias governments tend to have when it comes to marriages/divorces. This just makes it fair for what both people think is reasonable, not what the government thinks is reasonable.
Yes or no is impossible here. If you want to marry someone who already has a lot of wealth then you should expect a prenup. If, however, you both start from the same financial level then you should be working together and accept your partner 'for better or worse'. That's what marriage is all about. If you want to guarantee to keep all the money you have earned the don't het married, just hire a whore for the weekend occasionally.
Yes, because anyone worth being with would respect your decision. If she's upset by it, she clearly isn't all in for the love. You never know how a relationship is going to end its the practicle thing to do
Yes, I'm due my inheritance when I'm 25. I've got to protect my money.
Although prenups are not valid in my country.
Why not, i don't mind, i mean i get custody of my babies, its enough for me, i don't want to take from him. The divorce laws are really strict on men.
Man there's so many debates and arguments about marriage... I just wanna find my true love and be with her, I don't think that marriage is really important unless you're religious.
i personally think it's good to have a pre cautions. in our country, women are the one who wants the prenup, just for our pre cautions in the future, financially and emotionally.
I would, because I would do the same. Lol! Marriage is not a guarantee... I probably wouldn't marry to begin with. A promise ring is enough. As long as he loves me & gives me attention. 😂👍
Eh why would you do it, your a woman lol Marriage benefits women and women have never married beneath to lose anything since courts favor women. We live in a gynocentrism society that constantly caters for women's needs and privilege. How can you not see that? I think your talking shit.
How many wealthy women do you see commiting to cleaners, builders as such or just men with no resources? An us men are not wired that way anyway, we don't see women like ATM machines like you see us men.
@Mrwoo99 Listen, you don't know me, so the first mistake you made was assuming that ALL women see men as ATM machines. Just because you're surrounded by gold diggers, don't be bitter towards all women.
I could easily say all men are pigs & cheaters, the way I've gotten hurt before, but I don't, because that's MY truth, it's not THE truth. It's MY reality, but not reality itself. Today, I still love & adore men, regardless, because I've grown to be a much wiser woman, & I understand men a lot more.
I agreed to the prenuptial agreement, because I'm studying my MBA, & I'm going into the business world myself, so no, I will not be a stay-at-home type of a woman. I want to be independent, but at the same time I want a man. Whether he wants to look after me, is up to him, because I never want to be one of those women who sit on a man's head. I want a very dominant man, someone who has similar values, & someone who's just as ambitious as I am. I don't care if he makes more money than I do
Because I am in no competition with men. I like men who are able to lead me & the relationship, someone who is able to make sound decisions in his life.
I'm very much still a modest woman, but really, I don't care about marriage, I care about love & giving love, that's it.
The reason why I want an ambitious man, is not because of his money, but his attitude & sense of self worth - it exudes discipline, responsibility, maturity, & most importantly, confidence. I can't be with a man who stays at home & plays video games all day long, because that is NOT what I'm attracted to. I am attracted to a man who values his freedom & works hard to achieve his goals. If he's at home all day, or wanting to be around me all of the time, he will create no space for attraction.
If there is space/distance in a relationship, it creates attraction; which is why masculinity is what I'm looking for. A masculine man is a highly desirable man, it's been like that since the creation of men & women.
So please, don't generalise, I have a unique mind, & I'm a loving woman who loves men. They intrigue me & I love being around them. They've helped me a lot in my life, so I will never take ANY man for granted.
Ciao. 👋
You go girl 💖💖
@19magic 😊💕
It's smart with today's day in age, I honestly can't blame you though it's sad to think that this will become the standard in almost any marriage.
I agree it is sad so many marriages do not last. Many people get married thinking they found the one and then it falls apart sometimes years later.
I don't blame you I really don't, I'm not really worried about it and personal I wouldn't, but I never have been materialistic.
As to if I would ever marry I guy who had one, I would sign it. It's not a deal breaker for me at least. And if he ever changed his mind it's not like it's written in stone.
Like I said I really don't blame you.
It wouldn't matter to me, I would just want him always so I'd sign whatever to make him feel comfortable and secure.
There Great... You are very beautiful by the way
I wouldn't marry a guy who wouldn't want a prenup.
In case of a divorce I just need to know my belongings are safe!
Sure! Of course it's not a "sexy" thing, but it's practical. Being a successful lady myself, I would have no problem having some monetary security as well.
Prenup is good can't trust anyone anymore. i've seen something like that happen in my family from the last person i would expect to do that. so i'll definitely go for prenup, it's not that i don't love the woman i'm with, but it's because if things go sour most women try to get back at you somehow, and taking your money could be a way of revenge even if they don't really need it.
Of course. Prenup and postnup for extra security if they wanted.
You're of a rare breed if you're being honest.
Honesty and true values are a rare breed, yes
I wish it were even prevalent enough in my country to call rare. At least I'd have a shot.
@Gommers haha there's good, bad, and ugly in every crew... you just have to have a strong filter system to get rid of all the rotten people
Haha I thought I had it figured out too, just keep picking bad ones I guess.
Thanks for the encouragement. Peace, sister.
Yeah, as long as you take care of any kids we have together if we split, I don't need your money or your stuff and you don't need mine.
If you wanna give me some money I'm totally okay taking 'em, it would be rude of me to refuse.
@Giacomanzo I'd assume we'd share custody if we had children, and obviously I'd still be in part financially responsible for them. But if you father offspring, obviously you're also financially responsible for them.
Why do you think I was talking about any kind of relationship? I just want some money :/
@Giacomanzo Okay then...
I wouldn't get married without one, don't really want to get married honestly.
If I did I want to protect the shit I worked for.
Why not, I would only hope that if we did divorce they have enough decency to want to make sure i'm okay in the end and vice versa.