A Guys Question to Girls: am I being too sensitive that my wife kept her old wedding dress from a previous marriage?

[BSwift]

I recently found out that my wife saved her wedding dress from a previous marriage and has had it in our closet for the past 23 years that we are married. Her first marriage was for a few years and she had a daughter with him before the went their separate ways. I’m personally hurt that she never mentioned the dress, and while I imagine she might say she is keeping it for our daughter to possibly use, I can’t shake the feeling that it was a bit deceitful to have kept it tucked away without mention. Am I being too sensitive?

[hahahmm]

Too sensitive unless you're leaving out some context like you caught her secretly planning to meet with her ex or she burned the wedding dress she wore to your wedding. Also, in her 1st marriage she probably owned a lot of stuff. Let's say it was 100+ different items. And she only kept 1-2? Sounds pretty good to me. Sounds like she moved on if she stayed with you for 23+ years. It's not a crime if she wants to think about her 1st wedding sometime. Even if you DO NOT want to think about it. It'd be bad if she was thinking about it every day, but I doubt she is. And anyhow, you'd know because she'd bring it up to you all the time.

It's not a given she was keeping the dress a secret just because you didn't know about it. I don't tell my wife about every thing I stash in storage, shoe boxes or whatever but she is FREE to look anytime she wants and it wouldn't bother me at all. You chose not to look for 23 years? That's on you. It's not like she put the dress in a bank safety deposit box and 'forgot' to tell you she had the box.

[hahahmm]

Yes, it's possible she knew you would flip out and lose your sh* if you saw the dress but still, it's not a crime to put clothing in a closet and arguably not secretive at all. She just didn't rub it in your face which I'm sure you wouldn't have liked. Maybe you should be thanking her for not pulling that dress out every month/year of the past 23 years and showing it to you?

[ShadezMcgee]

Well, getting worked up isn't going to help you, bud. I am assuming you are having anxiety because her keeping a wedding dress from a past relationship means she may harbor some lingering attachment to her old life before she met you?

Instead of thinking that and winding yourself up, try talking to her about it. Make a comment that you came across it and wait for her response. Don't be confrontational, be curious. Maybe she just liked the dress? Maybe she is saving it for her daughter's wedding? Regardless, she is with you now for a reason. Don't come unglued and let that be a sore spot for something that may not even be a huge deal.

Don't make it about you, man. That is a quick way to let an insecurity cause harm to your relationship.

[Crepe_tart]

Your opinion isn't invalid by the way, before a say this. These dresses are only worn once and are really beautiful and expensive. You take a lot of effort pulling a wedding and I guess it's difficult to let it go (the dress, not the man). If I had many weedings I would kept all my wedding dresses honestly. And it also depends on familys. Some keep their wedding dresses for their daughters to use or to remake another dress. But if you still feel uncomfortable, yo can talk with your wife of how you feel with her keeping the dress and ask her if it really is a big deal for her.

[BeeNee]

The only thing you should be worried about is if she is cheating on you, stepping out on you, still in love with her ex, or anything of that sort. If you have a strong marriage, and it seems like if you'd been together for 23 years, you shouldn't be worried about a dress. A wedding dress is part of a memory like any other. It is a part of her history that you cannot erase nor should she have to.

[PrettyPriya]

Wedding dresses aren’t a throwaway item. Most girls keep them. Just because she still has it doesn’t mean anything.

she moved on from that part of her life. You should too. She likely forgot it is even there or saving for her daughter as you mention.

[TrueConfection]

Yes, you're overthinking this. She probably didn't want to discuss her first wedding because it's ancient history and she loves YOU. I'm sure you had access to the closet, so it wasn't really hidden from you (just packed away).

[SnakeBoop]

its a dress. i bet she has shirts she used to wear back then.
regardless of how it ended, its still a memory and HERS.
so put on your big boy pants and get on with it.

[Harleigh90]

Could she be keeping it for her daughters wedding day? Or had that intention when she first stored it.

Have you spoken to your wife? I mean 23 years in storage is a long time, she probably forgot about it.

[Pistolpete90]

I think you're feelings are valid, but unless she kept taking it out/looking at wistfully/ mentioning the day constantly; this is something to let go.
Safe to say after 23 years, she's hooked on you.

[Guy13]

Dude, stop living in the past…. I mean 💩, you’re almost 60 years old…how many good years do you have left ⁉️

You don’t want her crinking up your feed or fluid line..
seriously joking 🙃

[Maebo44]

She might have kept the dress, but she obviously didn't keep the guy.

And what/who do you think she loves more after 23yrs of marriage? That old piece of fabric, or you? ;)

If it keeps bothering you, you can always ask her about it? The reason might not be as bad as you might imagine 😊

[KatherineJ]

“Are you being too sensitive”? I don’t think so. She should have told you. I would like to think that she is saving it for her daughter. Maybe she was afraid to tell you because she didn’t want to hurt you?

[Fireguy17]

I'm thinking the daughter thing.
I have no clue if my wife has hers from her first marriage, and if she does if she told me about it.

[DyingLately]

It’s probably for the daughter as that seems to be the logical choice. Obviously she left the guy and choose you over him. It’s just a dress so calm down

[jahaims]

I get where you are coming from but it doesn't seem like she was hiding it or anything so it's not a big deal. Talk to her and asked why she kept it.

[In_Trance]

You're personally heard over a dress?


Jesus...

[Anonymous]

Women pay thousands of dollars for some reason getting their wedding dress personally tailored to them, they can't just get rid of em

[ragooo8]

Yes far too sensitive. Weddings are in women's subconscious since they were little girls.

[Anonymous]

A bit. Wedding dresses can be thousands of dollars. Get over it.

[Iron_Man]

I can see your point of view

[Anonymous]

well what else is she supposed to do with it?

[tponderingundead]

yeah, get over it.

[Kurdistan1991]

Why do you have prob