Help with in-laws?

[bradfordro]

I have been wondering if it’s ok for me to call out my in-laws when they say something mean or hurtful to my wife.
If your married or an actual in-law how would you react if your child’s spouse spoke to you about this if you did it without realizing it.

[Pudsmucker]

I had did this with my own parents I asked them to stop belittling my family and my lovely wife.

[bradfordro]

Ok was it awkward afterwards?

[unknownforever]

I guess it really depends on your wife. Does she speak with you about it? Have you spoken to her about how it makes you feel when her family speaks like that with her? By communicating with her first, it will allow you both to make up the best decision. It could turn out to be really disastrous if you told them about being mean to your wife. So just speak with her. Perhaps maybe you can encourage her to speak up about it. Another great idea is what someone else commented here. If someone is mean to your wife, compliment her straight after. Or slightly object to what they say by complimenting her about it. Good luck!

[TransAm85]

My husband and my mother haven't gotten along for the past 12 years. They hit heads a lot, but he still helps her if she really needs it. My brother in law is an asshole. I call him Grumpy! He lived w/my husband and I for a few years, but eventually he had to go b/c he was just unbearable. He worked 2nd shift also, so we didn't see him during the week, but weekends he was a friggin grumpy old man! If you have something to say, I think it's alright to say it.

[Moose304]

There is an old joke about NEVER taking sides when your wife and her mother are having a spat! The same applies to some degree to her sister. Since I am not married I can't give any personal takes on this question. What I suggest is letting your wife know you have her back and back her play. If you go on offense in my opinion at some point you are going to get some blowback. In other words, support the wife and let her run the point.

[TrueConfection]

As much as you have a right to and should stand up for your wife, you're looking to get kicked in the teeth from BOTH sides if you get involved here. Maybe you can find an alternative such as countering their bitterness with some sweet sugar. Give your wife a compliment when they say something hurtful.

[PsychedelicZebra]

Honestly, and please trust a random stranger on this, it's best not to get involved.

It's her family, and making her inlaws dislike you will only make things worse for her.

[Chiarac2003]

Speak to ur spouse first. I’m literally a broken record….. COMMUNICATION in a relationship is essential.

[OddBeMe]

I’d make sure to test the waters with the wife. It’s funny how abused people tend to get sensitive when others talk bad about their abusers.

[SnakeBoop]

Yes. Your wife will appreciate it

[Iron_Man]

If they keep it up say something

[WhitneySnow]

Definitely okay