What should I do regarding my future with marriage?

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

I seriously desire to get married before this year ends because my age is getting up there but financially I'm not in a position to in terms of buying a house right now and trips etc.

I spent several thousands of dollars to buy my dream car last year that set me back a lot financially and my current car and insurance payments combined are a bit over $800 a month.

I spent my 20's being immature and an idiot and didn't prepare myself for marriage and family life.

I will never leech off a woman, but I seriously feel insecure telling the girl I want to marry that I'm basically am broke for marriage life and I'm going to have to rely on her income a lot more for us to build forward til God blesses us.

I don't have a problem at all sharing all my income with hers to combine it together but I just feel extremely insecure and embarrass having to say that I'm financially struggling as a man and not prepared as a man should to provide but I can't no longer continue to waste time as am I getting older. 😕

[RealMarek]

You need to explain your circumstances to her. Is your career in an upward trajectory, or are you working jobs with little potential for growth? That makes a big difference. If the latter, she might have a problem with the dream car, especially if you don’t have a credible plan to improve your earning potential. It might come down to what is more important to you: the dream car or the dream girl?

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Hopefully I keep both. 🙏

[RealMarek]

I hope so too and I wish you well. These are difficult times. Having a credible plan to get more income can help. If you’re working low income, perhaps looking into a skilled trade (electrician, etc.) is something to look into.

[Anonymous]

You need to have a plan in place for the future. And that means knowing what you want. It’s scary for a woman to jump into a marriage with a man who is unprepared and has no plan. You want a wife. Marriage is a shared life, so what do want your (both of you) life to look like? What do you want in regards to children? If she one day decides she wants to stay at home are you going to step up? What do you want your finances to look like? If you’re going to rely on her, are you willing to live within her means, according to her budget? If the worst comes, would you be willing to sell your car?

The point of all this is, if you want marriage, you can’t be thinking about yourself anymore. You need to develop a mindset that includes your future wife and children. The life you build going forward will be for them.

[Daniela1982]

I don't see that happening seeing as you said on another thread that you don't want friends. A pair have to be friends before anything else. Plus what? You going to diss her family after you are married? See where that gets you with her.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Who told you, you have to be friends first lol? I desire a wife, not her as a friend.

[Daniela1982]

So, you want a slave then? Most people usually become friend's before dating or marriage, or they marry friends. You probably know more about them than any stranger so it makes more sense to me. Besides, don't you think God will set you up with someone right for you?

[turnpost]

Hispanic come on, friends, love, affection, romance first

This lust thing is a fleeting mechanical emotion that will never be satieted entirely. Surely at your age you have figured that out by now.

[turnpost]

Fix your income and self first

[ObscuredBeyond]

Not sure your goal is attainable. I'd like to be married too. But my best candidate is not exactly a stable woman. She just recently got a new job at Wendy's, so she's at least trying to put her life back together. But what she really needs, I can't do for her.

[artgorgeous]

How much exactly you spent on your dream car? You sure it's worth the money? Because car is a liability, not asset. My opinion, if the car is really expensive, you should sell it and buy used car instead. It really is a transportation aid to get you from point a to point b. If you really want to get married, you will have to spend some money on wedding. And think about your experiences more wisely in future. 800 bucks monthly is fucking a lot just to have your ass moved from a to b! I am sure that she, like most of women would want a decent wedding ceremony, and you can have it for part of the money you save. For example I live in a big city and I dont have a car. I can afford having it, but I understand that at the same time It would be a waste of money, it would not be wise to have it. I can use public transportation and its much cheaper. If you want to get married you need to reconsider how to manage your finances.

[IceCreamSandwich]

If it's really a big deal to you, you don't have to buy a house right away. Many of my friends when they got married, they just shared an apartment. Just because you can't afford everything you want to have when you get married, you don't need to sacrifice getting married, you can move some other things further down in your plan. It's not as though which one you do first will change how long it takes you to do both.

[Bunkerintegrated]

Arranging your future with marriage includes open correspondence, shared values, and common objectives. Ponder individual desires, examine assumptions with an accomplice, and settle on informed choices in light of close to home and commonsense contemplations.

[LazerBean]

Hate to say this, but the car has to go. Being broke isn't so bad, but being broke because you just had to have your dream car IS. But yeah I think getting rid of the car is going to be the first step in the direction of your goal.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

It's been my dream car for years. The car is basically brand new with just 200 miles short of 36,000 miles when I got with an interior that looks brand new.

God blessed me with it just to get rid of it in less than a year?

[LazerBean]

Is it a blessing from God, or is it a distraction and temptation from the devil? God blessed you with money that could have gone towards a home for you and a family, and you used it on a car instead. God is not wasteful, and the Bible says that a man who will not provide for his own family is worse than a heathen.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

I understand but I just couldn't resist to fulfill my dream of having my dream car.

Just ask your husband could you both zelle me 40K into my account and see what he says to help me? 🙏

[LazerBean]

Lol I don't think you would want to hear my husband's opinion of people who live outside their means

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

I did kinda screwed up but I don't feel guilty because a dream was fulfilled and I would never regret that because I worked my butt off to earn it.

The Bible teaches "all" things work for good to those who love God.

I deeply love God and God is all powerful and can change my direction of fortune at any moment.

I'm just going to trust God on this with my future and plan to marry this year though I might to feel ashamed.

God has helped me a lot before so I have personal points of reference He will help me again since I'm His son. 🙏

[LazerBean]

Sure, but the "Good" in that verse does not mean you will get a wife or a house. I'm sure there's more than one man who found Jesus in prison and loves Him very much, yet will never set foot outside of his prison for the rest of his life.

Do not be deceived, God cannot be mocked: a man will reap what he sows.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

But it does mean God can use my mistake and turn it around for me.

I have suffered enough from my mistakes already. LOL

He does promises to help me in His word which encourages me a lot to have hope though I screwed up. 😅

Isaiah 41:10

Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.

[LazerBean]

Can, yes. Will, not necessarily. The verse that you just quoted is God talking to the Israelites during their enslavement and removal from their country. He did strengthen them, but the strength was to bear the punishment of their wickedness that brought about the fall of their nation. Personally I would rather not need this verse to apply to me, but you might need it given your seeming unrepentance.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

I just gave you one verse. The psalms talks about God being our help several times.

God always helps His children when they need Him.

As I said He has helped me in the past a lot.

All the promises of God including from the old covenant transfers into the new covenant and all promises in God are Yes in Jesus Christ so quit being a negative Nancy towards my situation. 😑

2 Corinthians 1:20

For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us. 😅

[LazerBean]

I totally agree, 100%. I just also know that helping us does not mean giving us everything that we want. Likewise, you can be sure that God is even more so helping his faithful and prudent daughters by giving them men who will actually provide as they should.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

LOL.. Just say a prayer as my Christian sister towards God on my behalf regarding my situation and need though I'm 100% convinced God is going to help me out anyways though I wish I had a crystal ball to see how lol.

I endured a lot testing and passed the temptations and sacrificed a lot of fornicating with pretty women when the chances were available so I have a strong feeling God is going to reward my faithfulness towards him now. 🙌

[LazerBean]

If you see not fornicating as a sacrifice, then there is a much bigger problem. I could not possibly pray for God to give a prudent sister such stumbling block in life. However, I will pray that God helps you repent, changes your heart, and straightens your path so that when you inevitably do reap what you sow, it will be good.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

LOL oh you you little saint you actually think it's easy to deny a body sexual urges especially when sex is available?

Let's be realistic here. You got married at 18 years old basically still a teen fresh out of High school so your sexual temptation was extremely low compared to mines being single?

And believe me I love and fear God far more than you and your hubby combined.

I'm extremely dedicated to loving and fearing God.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

And not fornication is part of a bodily sacrifice.

Romans 12:1-2

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

* fornicating

[LazerBean]

Giving up something that you want is a sacrifice, giving up something that you don't not want is not a sacrifice. If fornication is a sacrifice to you, it's because you want to fornicate. I don't condone comparing how much we love God, but since you went that route I'm just going to point out that your wasteful lifestyle says otherwise about your fear for God and what He gives you, and thus the outcome for us has been vastly different since we chose to be prudent with what He's given us. If you didn't waste your money in such copious amount then maybe it would be different. I don't wish to create a rift between us. The Bible does say to correct brothers when they are in the wrong. And I'm sorry, but you are wrong to waste that money when you have more important things it needs to go towards. Don't settle for God's pity blessings when He readily rewards those who are diligent.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

LOL.. Wasteful lifestyle involves drinking, drugs, excessive partying buying expensive clothing and being careless with money buying a bunch of nonsense.

I simply worked my butt off and brought my dream car. That's not a sin.

You for some strange reason don't seem to have compassion for me but seem hell bent I pay for all my mistakes which I have already. LOL

And trust me you don't love God especially fear God more than me. Believe me when I tell you it's extremely great. 😅

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Oh and something else. God pity those who fear Him. So I know He will have compassion on. 😅

Psalms 103:11-18

For as the heavens are high above the earth, So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him; As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.

As a father pities his children, So the LORD pities those who fear Him.

For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust.

As for man, his days are like grass; As a flower of the field, so he flourishes.

For the wind passes over it, and it is gone, And its place remembers it no more.

But the mercy of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting On those who fear Him, And His righteousness to children’s children, To such as keep His covenant, And to those who remember His commandments to do them.

[LazerBean]

If you want God to reward you with a good wife, then you yourself also have to be a reward for that wife, otherwise God would be punishing her for her goodness rather than rewarding her. It is that plain and simple.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

What makes you think I won't be a reward for her?

[LazerBean]

You've already answered that question in your post.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Because I brought a nice car? Wow.

[LazerBean]

Because you're the opposite of a provider actually.

[LazerBean]

But if you move to a third world county like the Dominican Republic I'm sure you be able to find a girl you can provide for and a house to buy pretty easily.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Next car I'ma buy is a Lamborghini to really piss you off. 😤

[LazerBean]

Lol I'm not pissed off, I'm just telling you how it is. But you do that if you want

[Grovermint]

Why not instead of worrying about a house, you work on finding someone that wishes to build up with you? Find the lady, then move in together and work on both your finances together. No need to do it alone.

[RavVid]

In your wedding plans you should figure in divorce at 8 years as that is the median length i. e. 50% finish at that duration.

If you are not ok with that then don't.

[gorydetails]

I agree with LazerBean. I make a very good salary. Think top 11% of all people in the US. Under no circumstance would I pay $800 a month for a car some doofus could t-bone on any given day.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

It was a badly desired dream of mines to have though and I accomplished it.

[gorydetails]

Right, and now you have a dream that's also desired and will be more fulfilling than a car.

[NewgodOmega]

Go extreme mgtow earn for yourself spend on yourself
The world best advice is given only once

[WhiteBoyChill]

You have a lot to learn, young one

[NewgodOmega]

@WhiteBoyChill I am 38 years old son you need to learn a lot yet

[WhiteBoyChill]

It said you were 13 lol

[NewgodOmega]

@WhiteBoyChill the profile creation system here is a joke it won't get pass a certain year and I can edit it now in my profile settings as well so you can lol dol you dop pop og odd whatever you want no one gives a shit

[WhiteBoyChill]

What do you do for work?

If might be time to get a different job or acquire new skills.

I’d have to know more about your situation to reach a solution

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Salary isn't bad for me alone but for marriage and house among other stuff it's going to be a bit challenging.

[WhiteBoyChill]

Well, just don’t marry a woman your age then. Marry younger and you’ll still have a leg up