I have been hearing some stories how some bad husbands are wonderful fathers.
My great grandpa was the same actually. He was an awful husband, always hurt and cheated on my grandma but he was an amazing father and a grandfather. He regretted being a bad husband later on, he cried every night from missing her and prayed for his wife but was too late. She was gone.
How’s that?
Wouldn’t a nice person be nice to everyone?
Why are some bad husbands and great fathers?
Maybe they can be a good father but when they realize their mistake which is a fucked way to make amends after all that time you did not care about your children.
My dad was a bad husband to my mother
My mother was a bad wife to my father as well.
They are both what you call, people who do not deserve to earn the “ parent title”.
7 years ago till now, My father has tried to make amends with us, his children. I am the oldest child and I can see that he is really tried to be a father but man, how can you start to be a good father now after so many years has passed?
My mother is a different story. She has never ever done in anything in her life to support me and some of my siblings. She has lied , manipulated even bullied me into believing that I was really a failure. She even remarried without inviting her own kids. She parades around with her new kid and treating him better than us. It’s like we are her old experiments that failed so she doesn’t acknowledge us. She pays rent, light bills and cooks for the kids sometimes.
Has she ever paid for any of her children’s expenses? No , my father did
I was 15 and I used to work to pay for insurance, car…. my siblings school fees and other expenses. I did not complain because I am the oldest child and I really thought this is what she wanted me to do.
Come to find out, I ended up having to pay for her credit card bills. She would swipe her cards left and right then disappear to go travel to see that new young guy she was seeing. She bought him a phone , a new car……. as my mother she couldn’t even buy me a car?
My father left us but he sends money and talks to us…encourages us to do better. He is emotional with us but talking once a week is not enough and sends money which I appreciate so I try to make him believe that I am grateful…….. but sincerely, I don’t give a fuck. All these years, I am just trying so hard to pretend like I care about my mother and my father. I don’t care.
Unfortunately some people just aren’t good partners with the fundamental frame work of a relationship or the relationship isn’t working out. But it doesn’t mean they can’t fulfill their role as good parents to their kids. It’s frustrating and disappointing that some marriages won’t work out despite having a good relationship with the kids.. but not with each other.
sure.
People are driven by what is inside of them... so find out what that emotion is and you'll understand them. For example, if he is driven by spite.. he may project that onto whom is closest... his wife. If he is "narcissistic" in behavior... e. g. a hurt little boy that was rejected by his father, he may take that self pity out on his wife. Wouldn't shock me he'd take it out on others as well... for that's whom he is and how he is resonating. People will hurt others they "love"... you've figured that out... for their love is selfishness. If he's just a "player" .. he's thinking about himself, not his wife. It's hard to put ones self second... that may have to be developed.
I'm not saying all that is fact, take what you will from the scenarios, you have to look at each persons patterns of behavior and figure out what was driving them and how it is flawed... goal is healing the deeper person to how God made them, in love, so they are their best self. For God to me, is love.
And yes... the Bible is right again... this is a fallen world with an adversary inside of us, that is... fallen emotionally into emotions we don't like... fear, shame, spite, malice, envy, greed, pride... etc.. not love, joy, peace, happiness, contentment, self control.
These are different skills too... father and husband.
sometimes in relationships they just don't work out and just because you don't like each other anymore doesn't mean that you stop becoming a father or a mother they have nothing to do with it
when you have a child you're responsibilities to make them become 10 times better than you so at the same time you might be a great father you also have to teach your children how to be a great friend to their mother so when they go through our times with their spouses girlfriends boyfriends what have you they know how to treat each other
Opinion
57Opinion
I believe that’s usually not the case.
If a marriage is dysfunctional, usually the parenting is dysfunctional as well.
But, of course, I suppose there may be rare exceptions.
It IS a slightly different headspace though, how one is with their significant other versus how one is with their kids.
Some people only know how to operate in one headspace and not the other.
You may often hear stories where the romance in a marriage is turning sour because one or both of the parents are only focusing on their kids instead of also nurturing and protecting their marriage and intimacy as a couple — which then causes them to argue more and that takes away from their ability to be good parents when their marriage is struggling.
Husband and father are two completely different roles, requiring completely different skills. A man could be good at one and horrible at the other.
It's quite possible (I've actually seen this), because they're two very different relationships.
No! Loving other people is usually a chore. It takes energy and effort to show your affection and we decide for ourselves who is worth it and not. That's why you need to select who to love because no one is enough to love all.
On the other hand when you decide who to love you can make mistakes, perhaps you thought showing affection for someone would give you some return which is why most people cheat, believing they can have something they currently lack for being affectionate with someone else.
I pity your grandfather. Most likely he gave as much affection he could while looking for something he never got and he will be remembered mostly for his faults rather than his merits.
Ohh sure easy.
Pretty simple for bad husband , banging everything that moves , but with the children simply adores , supports , respects.
I have one very close ex colleague in mind , a precis to protect the relatives and children , great father , adored his kids , bored shtless with wife , was having sex with one of our ( very hot ) workers , got her pregnant , she got a new role , they had 2 great looking kids , ended up divorced , he also owned a transport company , 6 kids now , all adored him , he was great to all.
A really really good guy , just taken far too young , but played hard too.
Lovely bloke.
u I don't think so, no...
maybe they can do some good things, but in general... they are doing a very bad thing towards the mother of their children, which can mess up or confuse the children
there is nothing wonderful or great about someone abusing and hurting your mother, no...
A lot of husbands have a hard time understanding their wives. After a while they get frustrated, and just start doing what ever. It is not always that they are trying to be bad; it is more they do not understand how to communicate with their wife.
All men tend to have a mind that makes it easy for them to understand their children, and the children's needs. So, it is easier for them to set the rules for their children, and raise them to be productive in society and think for themselves.
When it comes to the wife, because of how they see things, and in most cases, because they never want to hear the wife's opinion and input; they tend to rub her the wrong way!!! You have to listen and take in what she says if you want to be a good husband!!
Hell yeah? My bestie is one of those dads. Although he ain’t no husband and more so has a baby moms… I know his daughters love and value his time because he’s just a fun joyful person to be around. I’m not saying this because he’s my friend but, it’s a damn shame how ignorant his baby mom is and she don’t really respect the relationship he has with the daughters yet expects him to watch them spontaneously anytime she needs. And since she’s so mean they can’t even have a regular conversation or agreement with any arrangement with these kids they have without having a big argument causing my friend to just hang up on her. Then he’ll close his eyes, shake his head and yell to himself “whatta a fucking bitch?” Then smile and be all pretending to be super happy cause his knows he not that crazy. Some bitches be crazy and he sadly had 2 kids with her, yikes.
I would say Yes, it is possible for a man to be a bad husband but a very good father. A person's ability to fulfill different roles and responsibilities in their family can vary. Being a good parent and being a good spouse require different skill sets and behaviors. It is possible for someone to excel in one role while struggling or falling short in another. It's important to address any issues in the spousal relationship separately from the parenting relationship and work towards improvement in both areas if needed.
Yes, it is possible for a man to be a bad husband but a very good father. Relationship dynamics within a marriage and parenting roles can be distinct. A person may struggle with the responsibilities and expectations of being a spouse, perhaps due to communication issues, incompatible personalities, or other factors. However, he may excel as a father by providing emotional support, guidance, and a positive influence on his children's lives. Parenting involves a unique set of skills and qualities that can differ from those needed in a marital relationship. It's essential to recognize that individuals can exhibit various facets in different roles, and a person's ability to be a good father may not necessarily correlate with his effectiveness as a spouse.
that would be me.
people doesn't give the same value to everything, i know very well that i am a good friend and family member and would be one of the best father world ever saw for a son, but i also know that i would not be a good husband and father to a daughter, i would be whatyou call jealous and controlling husband/father.
my point of view, with a son, i don't have to fear for him, he will be a man and if he grows up to be anything like me, he should have nothing to fear with a daughter and wife, i would not just fear fortheir safety but also never trust them %100 my possesive male instincts wouldn't let me live a peaceful life with them.
Can be? I suppose. Typically I've seen it be a like begets like thing. Good spouses typically are good parents.
I guess if someone grew to resent their spouse, which can happen, that person may have no problem with their biological child if the kid is doing well in life. Easy to praise a high performer.
Consider that your grandfather may have been trying to alleviate his guilt for his infidelity. Horrible thing for their child to hear. But his hands shouldn't be cuffed and say he's not allowed to be nice because he fucked up in his relationship.
No, I believe a man who doesn’t respect the mother of his child or show her common decency can’t be a good father. If he saw her in pain and didn’t bother helping and only added stress and pain he won’t play the role his daughter will need. He will only bring her trauma later on in life.
That being said I also feel this way with women that have a good husband and find joy in degrading him and emasculating him. They will not be able to teach their kids how to maintain a healthy relationship and be nurturing to others. That’s why I’m very picky about friends.
A romantic relationship is very different from a father child relationship. It requires a different set of skills. Not surprising that someone might be good at one but bad at the other although it is true there is some interaction there between the skills.
I don't believe that.
They can treat children properly and affectionately, but always those deeper emotions will be missing. And kids can feel it.
If someone hurts people on purpose, they lose part of their soul, their heart and their emotions.
Yes. may be. Dont knw exactly but each person is different on earth having different behaviour , nature & mentality. N i think each person behaves different with everyone.
N to be honest. Everyone is devil 😈 in someone’s story. So can’t say exactly yes & no for this question.
A father is relating to children who he is in control of and are not his equals. A. husband is relating to an adult woman who should be his equal and he has to do adult-adult work. Completely different from being a parent.
Some are good at dealing with underlings. But not with long-term close relationships with other adults/and women.
My grandfather probably was like that?
He adored his chicken but for some reason he couldn't stand my grandmother, and since at the time divorce was not a thing and she refused to leave, he either had her sent off to an asylum or allowed it to happen. She died there and he had her buried on common soil and never remarried.
Word through the grapevine was that he had found out she had helped out some German soldiers during WWII and decided to make her pay for it.
Depends how you interpret both.
A "good husband" could be a drug dealer, who doesn't bring "business" home, or a thick as shit labourer with an alcohol problem, but great sex drive.
On the flip side, a "good father" could just be one who doesn't explode at the smallest things, or just pay the bills.
Everyone has different interpretation's and experiences of their fathers, and husbands are not necessarily all fathers.
Definitely possible. We have different personalities with every relationship we have in life. Your relationship with your parents is very different from your siblings or friends or significant other or eventually even children. You could have a very negative view of women and treat them like shit, but have a soft spot for children because you want them to live the life you always wanted. Everyone has their own psychological reasons.
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