Should I tell my ex boyfriend I'm leaving the country?

[cikitsaka]

Long stoey short... we've been together 2.5 years and we broke up officially around a week ago. Iv been offered a job away like other side of the world. ... and I never would havw considered it only we broke up. Part of the reason I want to leave is because of this. Its a new start and a potential new life. I don't really have any interest in coming back home if I do leave. I'm not 100% on it yet. To be honest if he asked me to stay I probably would...

Should I tell him?

How do I tell him?

When should I tell him?

I still love him obviously but I've been told over and over that I'm the cause of all his stress and woe... see first question for more details.

Help!

[mouse26]

all things aside about the ex

choosing to move to the other side of the world is a big deal.

I have moved country twice and it isn't easy

you are in a new environment, new traditions, different everything

you have no friends or family there to pick you up on a bad day.

I am not saying don't do it but be sure you consider all the consequences. If it goes wrong can you get back home to your old job or would you feel stuck there

you said you wouldn't have considered it before, why?

I always had a love for travelling and I wanted to move country from when I was 10 years old. So when I had the opportunity to do it I went for it,.

if the only reason you want to move away is because you broke up with someone don't do it.

If you want to move because you would really like living in the new country and take the challenge of a new job and make a new life...great I have done this and I am glad I did even though it isn't always easy.

[cikitsaka]

I can come back. I get a career break with my job... id love to go I would... my hearts just divided

[em584385]

If you really want to start over then I wouldn't tell him. Telling him might stop you from starting a new life in a new country. There are many things that you get to experience, but if asks you to stay, you might miss out on a lot. Try this new life.

[cikitsaka]

Sware my life is better than a soap opera

[em584385]

The way I look at it, you won't know what could have happened if you turn down the offer. If he really likes you and wants to be with you, then there are options. Just don't make this into something where your 30 or even 60 and wonder what would have happened if I took the offer.

[Troian]

You're not together anymore, you don't owe him anything. You don't need to tell him, it would be like the relationship is not really over.

He'll probably find out from someone else.

[yopyopyop]

Why would you want to tell him all of this ? So he tells you not to leave ? Isn't it blackmail, sort of ?

And why are you leaving so quickly and so far away ? You would like him to retain you, yet you're ready to give up on everything because you broke up ? Woah, mind explodes.

This situation shows you are extremely impulsive. I don't know what happened between the two of you, but to be ready to just move to the other side of the world because of a break up, in less than a week after it happened, shows you should also have to think a bit about yourself.

[cikitsaka]

This is the second time we have broken up... he's treated me pretty poorly. I know he has no respect for me and its not blackmail. I just want to know that if I go I haven't made a mistake. ... does that make sense?

[yopyopyop]

Well even if you are broken up because he treated you poorly, you are still expecting him to make you stay. And the stakes are so high. What do you really expect ? As girls said, it's true that going somewhere else might give you good experiences. But if you are just doing this out of spite, you'll travel with your sadness. So think about what you really want, he doesn't need to know.

[cikitsaka]

Again not trying to be spitfull or do it to hurt him in any way I just feel like I need to escape. I mean the move has been on the cards for a while. And I keep asking myself that id it was the other way round would I want him to tell me? I don't kno. Thing is I'm definitely not tryin to be spitfull here I'm just wondering what the right thing to so is?

[yopyopyop]

I get your point, but you could just change flats and the result would be the same.

In your first post, you hoped for him to make you stay. So if you need to go far away to move on, do it. But if you tell him you're leaving for the other side of the world, yet want to get back with him, you might be disappointed by his answer. Especially after one week. It's too much too soon, I think. If you don't tell him and he apologizes in 3 weeks, what do you do from the other side of the world? Your call.

[cikitsaka]

Im not due to go until years end... by the time I get my visa insurance etc. Its a job offer. Better money better quality of life more opportunities. .. of course I love him and I would give up this to be with him again. Its not an ultimatum.There's nothing here for me anymore... ugh this isn't helping...

[yopyopyop]

Oh it's really far away then. So you should just not talk about it at all.

Start to do the procedures, give him and yourself a little space, and see if things patch up in the next weeks. Let the situation rest, so you can take this decision with serenity.

[Adelphos]

Your the cause of ALL his stress and woes? Good grief! What is wrong with this guy? For the most of us, most of our issues are self inflicted. Having been in and out of a few relationships I can tell you that a clean break is the best answer. If you stay near each other you will become one of those 'on again, off again' couples. Move, you have a future in front of you that will be good, if you decide it will be. I hope you move toTexas but I am biased.

[TheOneTurv]

why would you tell him?

He's your ex

They have the "ex" there for a reason

[Anonymous]

I think if you want new start and be sorry for break up,u tell him..he have a right to it.maybe is he still love you? I think your tell together before you go

[Anonymous]

He's your EX you don't owe him anything.