What should be the punishment for lying about abuse (even hitting yourself and lying about it)?

[Anonymous]

I'm in a tough situation. My own sister confessed a secret to me just this Sunday. She pleaded with me to keep it quiet but I feel terrible now.

Way back in 2018, her ex boyfriend was supposedly arrested for domestic violence but released on the condition of no contact and finishing an anger management program. There was a small bruise on her arm too and back of her thigh.

Her secret is that she was upset upon finding out he cheated. She hit/spanked herself to make it look believable and faked it all. It was a lie that she was abused. She wanted to get back at him for cheating.

Updates

1 y

The subject about domestic abuse came out. I was saying something like ''thanks goodness you got out of that abusive relationship''. That's when she admitted the whole thing. Basically she lied to all of us too

[Graci_e]

Do the right thing and tell the truth about it. She lied about something very, very serious and ruined someone’s life. That person deserves his name cleared.

Domestic violence is serious. Ruining someone’s life is serious. She’s lied about something that people go through daily, something that kills and scars people. She victimised herself and used up recourses and time, all for a self serving, petty reason. Some people don’t get justice.

But not only that, she’s ruined someone’s life. She put him through unnecessary hurt, struggle and lost. She’s stolen from him. His reputation, finances, relationships, living situation, mental health, etc is fucked with, maybe even for life.

Your sister, someone that vindictive doesn’t deserve the truth hidden for her, to protect her. She’s not the victim, he is. He deserves for someone to tell the truth.

I’m sorry but she cannot be mentally well, or at the least a nice person. It takes someone nasty to be capable of that.

Tell the truth. I understand you love your sister, but lying for her makes you guilty too. That’s a secret you shouldn’t be expected to keep and it’s completely reasonable to tell it. I fully believe you should do what’s right.

[WonderBell99]

Domestic violence is one of the most serious criminal offenses. In fact, if the alleged victim wants to drop the charges in the future, they can't. Only the prosecution can decide whether or not to drop the charges. She knew how seriously domestic violence accusations are taken, why lie? Your sister is immature.

Under certain circumstances, lying about domestic violence is a crime. She could be charged with *perjury*, but that’s unlikely to happen. Perjury is when an individual lies under oath during an official investigation, either in a written or verbal statement. She could also be charged with filing a false police report, a *misdemeanor offense*.

Her ex could file a lawsuit against her and demand compensation for damages caused by the allegations if proven that he is innocent.

[Asker]

I feel horrible for her ex boyfriend. Cheating is one thing but to lie about something serious is another. The guy lost his previous job, lost some of his friends and got his reputation destroyed. I'm at lost and totally disappointed in her. She lied to me and all of us. Part of me is telling me that family is still important and I shouldn't betray her (my blood) but another part of me is super upset with her and is telling me to do the right thing, to clear his name and tell the truth with the risk of losing my sister's good relationship.

[WonderBell99]

You have two options :-

- you could either stay out of their relationship and watch the guy ruin his life

- or you could come clean to him

Why do you feel like you would betray her? Wasn’t this all HER fault?

[TheMajesticKing777]

Now just let natural justice take care of that situation, something is gonna bite her in the ass eventually

[UniquelyBasic]

I guess whatever the framed person got she should get the same, maybe more.

[UniquelyBasic]

It can ruin someones life and image. It doesn't even matter if the person was found not guilty after a while, others will still think they are the person that they were accused of being.

[Asker]

He's already been out of jail ever since he decided to take the option of anger management class. I just feel terrible that his name hasn't been cleared yet (I'm the only one that can do it now that my sister told me but it'll cost me my relationship with her) and I'm wondering if he must have been having a hard time finding a good job.

[Asker]

Yes he got fired from his previous good job he loved and lost several friends since. At the time, I heard his rep got ruined.

[UniquelyBasic]

You or your sister should come clean as the guy is being punished for something he never did and your sister just gets to live her life like nothing happened.

[Asker]

My sister won't do it but I can. The only thing is I'm going to lose the good relationship I had with my sister. I'm going to lose her and she's going to hate me.

[SnakeBoop]

I hate little twats who do that. jailtime, and be forced to pay a fine/restitution to the victim for having their name and reputation damaged

[EllaNella]

somehow i do not believe that he got arrested for two small bruises

[Asker]

Briefly but then he got released on the condition of completing an anger management course.

[EllaNella]

but how was it proven that he was the one who was responsible for the bruises?

[Asker]

She lied about it and made it all believable. Apparently she can be a good liar. They didn't believe him and his name hasn't been cleared yet. Until Sunday, I really thought he had abused her until my sister confessed to me.