Sorry this is so long. I'm actually so embarrassed to post this even though it's anonymous like I feel pathetic
I have a weird thing about me that I always get obsessed with the weirdest type of men. For example I used to be obsessed with a singer (small artist) for literally 4 years. I actually used to be a groupie of his too
I'm 20 and this year I started playing a game (Minecraft) again that I used to play a lot on the past. I started playing when I was 12. I haven't played in two years and the specific pvp game mode I play is pretty dead but I found a guy who I know from the way past and he still plays
He's like a real god at the game like literally the best player I've ever seen. First time I saw him again he actually sent me a friend request and asked if I wanted to play some PVP and he beat me at every match ofc but he said I'm real good in that one game mode we both main. I've been friends with him on both his accounts for few months now, one of his accounts is actually in my clan
We played a clanwar once and my friend organised it and got this guy on Discord. I think I started having a crush on him when I heard his voice and when I noticed he doesn't talk a lot at all like he maybe said two sentences the entire call lol
Other people also told me they've never spoken to him before and he's also not on any other Discord servers other than mine (and I'm basically on all servers of that game)
It makes me feel special too because sometimes he messages me and asks if I want to play and he hardly does that with anyone. I also see him spectating me playing a lot
I feel so pathetic and feel like a real weirdo especially because you'd never think of me like that if you knew me in real life. I make a living off my looks and I work on Instagram etc. I know I have real life men who want me yet I always fall for things like this. I feel like there's definitely something wrong with me for that but I can't help it?
