How do I break this vicious cycle?

[Anonymous]

I feel a little depressed, my mother is a bad hoarder which bothers me to the point that I developed an eating disorder and skin picking disorder. I know the only way for me to save myself is to move out. I never hurt my body by picking on my skin or stress eating 🥺😭 when I'm away from home, but I'm here now and I happen to be often. The problem is I can't get out of here now because I just picked on my skin and I can't control my eating disorder. I already gained some weight and my skin looks bad, it makes me feel so insecure ashamed. I can't go on a walk, I didn't even open the door for the delivery guy yesterday. It's hard for me to take care of myself since I already look bad. I'm embarrassed but sometimes I don't brush my teeth, wash my hair etc because I feel like I'm not worth of (self) care, love (my way of thinking is "everything or nothing"). When I look at my house and how cluttered, dirty it is, I feel so frustrated that I can't change it and I feel dirty myself so I quit trying to take care of myself. It's a vicious cycle. But when I'm away from home, I glow, I do sports, eat healthy because I enjoy doing that and I'm so happy.
Please help me break this cycle.

[devilish-cutie]

first of you dont have 2 disorders cause your home is dirty. That is making you frustrated but the problem is deeper and psychological, it is a way you developed to cope with your problems and stress.

second, what you need to do is make sure you sleep enough, work out at least a litte (going on a walk is okay too), eat enough so you're not hungry and yes clean ysf up (just shower, doesn't have to be much special) - all this will get you in better state to be able to mentally discipline yourself to stop your addictions. Stop addictions by having rules (eg. for picking - no mirrors, no light where there are mirrors, no looling in mirrots etc.) and you hold those very strictly, bascally making it hard for ysf to do it. Replace it with some other habits you like to do, maybe watch tv or play video games and reward ysf and be patient w ysf.

third, your mom being a horder - you cannot reason it with her, you need to do what you want without asking her for permision, you need to mentally break the barrier and do whatever she tells you not to, you need to break from trying to please your parent, you mom will love you regardless, she just has an issue like you (eg. you say imma clean this that etc. and if she is like no etc. you say imma do it anyways and you do it, there is no space for discussion anymore), trst me diappointing your parents is breaking free, its not easy but sometimes its the only way

[RyanK9b]

Stop with the bs. If u don't want to look ugly or similar, care for yourself. Get that into your head no one can solve the problem for you, only you can.
So stop eating like a pig, clean yourself and the room and or move out.

If u don't break out u will stuck there. Look in the mirror everyday and ask yourself is it worth it to life like this.

Nothing is free in this world