Do you believe if you stand up for yourself people will see you as being combative?

[sage2021]

Now a days when people stand up for themselves, others don't want anything more to do with them. They take it as being combative.

But for most of us, we were taught early on in life not to let people walk all over you and to stand up for yourself if they are screwing you over. In your personal life, as well as dealing with businesses and the general public.
What's your opinion? What do you do? Let them walk all over you or stand up for yourself?

Updates

1 mo

Do you think it's different if a female stands for herself? Like she's combative, but if a guy stands up for himself he is respected?

[Hansomedevil69]

The person that considered you combative for standing up for yourself is a narcissist, they’re single goal was to walk all over you and generally use you in some form or another.

[sage2021]

@Hansomedevil69
You hit the nail on the head! My apartment manager is a bitch on wheels!! Thanks! 🙂

[FunkyMonkee]

Any time I tried to stand up for myself, I got the punishment and the guy that caused the trouble walked.

[sage2021]

@FunkyMonkee
Isn't the way things go now. I hate that and then I don't just stick up for myself nicely, I get pissed off.
Remember back a while ago when this black tried to rob the old man that owned a barista (like a grocery store) and the owner shot and killed the guy (I think) that had a gun and was beating the old man up in his own store and the cops took the owner to jail for protecting himself?
It's just like these squatter's that take over a person's house and the cops stand up for the squatter get's to stay in a stranger's house and the owner is shit out of luck.

It's the same shit when I try to tell my side of a story.

My sister-in-law, who is a big fat white chick, built like an Amazon, walks like a till of the Hun - boom, boom, boom.
Anyway, she's half my age and when she texts me, she speaks to me as if I am a child. Then she called me liar, not directly, but she said she didn't believe me.
So I wrote my 1/2 brother an email about this. I said if the shoe was on the other foot and you talked to my husband like she talks to me, would I call him out on it? Absolutely I would. Not him. He blamed me because I grew up without a father. 🙄

[FunkyMonkee]

Yes, a bodega was being robbed, the own defended himself and HE went to jail for it! Just like how all those loonies can tear down and destroy major cities and walk free but the ones that peacefully went to the Trump rally on Jan. 6th were the ones that got busted!
Atilla the Hun with one tit. Interesting picture.
. There were a number of times in school when some asswipe decided, out of the blue, to start a fight with me. When we were taken to the principal's office, it was decided that I was the one to get punished!!
Same way at home. Any of my sibs could get away with murder!! When my parents saw what THEY did, they came after ME to punish instead of them!! If I told them it was one of the others that did the deed, I STILL got yelled at for not dealing with it after they did it!! For some reason, because I'm the oldest, I'M supposed to spend all MY time wiping their ass for them!! The parental units can take the time to teach ME right from wrong but won''t say SHIT about to any of those rugrats!!

[sawno]

I don't think that way in general, I am myself and however people take that will show me who they are. If I need to stand up for myself I will for the principle of being myself. If they then get unreasonably upset it reveals a flaw in their personality. Because as long as I am genuinely approaching things from a reasonable honest perspective I expect that in return.

[Flatmanlewis]

It depends how much tact and respect you add to the recipe. Some people confront every single perceived slight or transgression and it comes off as combative at some point. Almost like they are hypersensitive. You have to find the right intensity, volume, and formula and (at least for me) that took some time.

[Kori1236]

It depends on how you do it. If you’re aggressive about it people will see it as combative but if you keep your head and stay calm it’s not combative. That said choose your battles wisely; ask yourself if the person you have a problem with is worth your time and energy. If they’re not just move on

[NathanDavis]

I am known as the Karen Whisperer...

at this point I can bring them from 100 to a 10 in no time... and they even thank me for it before they realize it... lol

[sage2021]

@NathanDavis
What's your secret? Ah, come on, share.

[bobby_bush_eater]

I think there's definitely a balance. That said there are a ton of women who act on their emotions and are super combative without logic or reason. Men can have a bad temper or be unable to handle hard truths and lash out as well.

Overall women are more emotional in behavior but rationale, controlling your tone, and not being rude or belittling is extremely important

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I'm lenient but I never yield much footing of a kind I consider important. If I do, I'm side-stepping and preparing a counter-attack.

A lot of us from Japan tend to be perceived as pushovers but try pushing us a few times in a row and you will find either a lunatic like me or some kind of Jujitsu master.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

* Jiujitsu.

[sage2021]

@GuyAnswersGirls123
So is your answer that you stand up for yourself if someone is trying to screw you over?

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Dishonorable types like gossipers, poisoners, backstabbers? Those admittedly I never found an ideal strategy. I can't stoop to their level since my sense of honor forbids it. So I just mostly mind my own business.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

On update, the problem with women is that I can't fight them. Honor forbids. So dealing with belligerent woman is way, way more complicated than belligerent man. With belligerent man, we can just have a good old-fashioned fistfight. With women, I cannot.

[BarryLiverstone]

Nope. When I’m authentic to who I am, that’s not perceived as combative

[sage2021]

@BarryLiverstone
You stated that very well. That is your authentic self speaking. And it shouldn't be perceived as being combative but that's a new buzz word on social media I guess.
I only GaG, but I am guessing because I have heard it a few times this past week.

[BarryLiverstone]

No. If a girl is authentic and stands up for herself that’s the same as a guy. Both deserve respect

[BarryLiverstone]

I will say per your update that it seems like in general one difference between girls and guys involves aggression. So while both should stand up for themselves, girls seem to react in aggressive ways that could be perceived as combative.

Does that make sense?

[BarryLiverstone]

And thank you for saying my initial answer was well stated. I tried to reply to your update after

[sarahstar13]

Not always. Just last week, one of our employees stood up for herself (no details on what happened), she got fired/quit.

[sage2021]

@sarahstar13
See, now that's not right. If a guy stood up for himself I bet he wouldn't have been fired!
But if a female stands up for herself, even though she's 100% right, they think she's combative, likes to fight and argue when she is simply telling her side of the story.

I think I would go to the unemployment office a file a claim for benefits and also try to get my job back on an appeal.

[sarahstar13]

I don't know what happened, the next day they opened her position up.

[worldscolide]

I rarely have to stand up for my self. But i do stand up for those in my care. I do not believe people see me as combative.

[Danny_dan92]

No. You aren’t a coward

[Jamie05rhs]

They do sometimes.
But I say fuck 'em.

[BLP11520]

Pick your battles, wisely🤔

[exitseven]

Yes, and they would be correct.

[sage2021]

@exitseven
Do you think a female standing up for herself is being combative? Because I have always had to stand up for myself - especially because I didn't have a Dad or brothers that lived with me. No support system, so it was just me and I always stood up for myself, not in a bad way, just stated my side of how something was.

[exitseven]

Yes, if you will fight I suppose you sre combative. I have no problem with combative. The world is a terrible place,

[firenine909]

Not at all lol

[Kingofkings1992]

Depends on how you go about doing it

[Sabretooth]

I don't care.