Many will not agree with me, but there are a lot of things to consider.
As women get older they feel that they are running out of time, so they settle. If it was a nice guy they wanted in the first place they would have one, but when they get older and realize that the bad boys they want and are attracted to are going out with younger and hotter women they lower their standards to the nice guys.
Don't be fooled. A lot of women do not like nice guys because that's what they aren't attracted to but they will say otherwise. Women play all kinds of games with men and complain when they get played by someone they KNOW is a player, jerk , or A-hole. Women put nice guys in the friend zone expecting them to be prince charming down the line.
There are many women out there that try to put square pegs in round holes. Some women will say, "I have had my fun and I'm sick of all the games and all the bad boys. I want a nice guy to take care of me like I deserve to be taken care of". Some women that are desperate to have kids at a later age and don't want to adopt a kid alone. Nice guys are available, easy to get, and are put on hold for this purpose.
When a woman past her prime is more than her looks, it has to do with having children as well.
There are women that go for young guys because they just want to have fun, they are called cougars. Many women don't like cougars and think that older women should only be with men their age. Cougars go for the bad boys, jerks and A-holes as well... Hmmmmmmm...
This is NOT a debate. Nice guys finish last, end of story.
Seriously? Yeah, maybe some women play games, but that doesn't mean that they "say otherwise". Not all women lie. To go around thinking that women must be thinking the opposite of what they are saying is to border on schizophrenia. And that's not very objective at all for you to say that this is not a debate. Nice guys are not always pushovers.
Didn't say "all". Didn't say that nice guys are always pushovers, I said they finish last. I don't "think" that women do this, I am talking from experience. Tha vast majority are like this. This question would not have been asked if it wasn't seen. Women play innocent about stuff like this, mislead men from the start, and are secretly laughing. What do you call when someone says one thing and does the opposite? Women do this. Ask for good men, ignore them, then say where are they later.
No. Women have higher standards as they age. And they don't have to give people "chances". They are not obligated to do this.
When people, men and women both, are young, they live more spontaneously and "at the moment". When they grow older, they get a higher sense of morality (through experience) and a sense of who is good for them.
Women usually settle down in their late twenties. This is a good time for them to get married, after they have secured all their finances and have job security, and are sure that they have a good husband that will treat them well. Women have to look out for kids and the family, so they look for more than just one-night stands. They have higher standards because they know what to look for and at an older age, men and women are usually more mature than when they were kids.
I don't know where you see lots of women in their thirties and forties getting with men, and I don't know how you know their ages, and how you know those men are nice guys. But whatever you've seen, it doesn't represent the whole population.
And since when are nice guys pushovers? Nice guys are polite, respectful, not abusive, and generally treat women much better than bad boys.
For those that try to argue that men also look out for the family, men aren't the ones that are stuck with the baby in their stomach for nine months. Men can leave whenever they want, so men, less than women, are looking out for financial security and such. This doesn't mean that there aren't men that look for these things too. It's just that men are much more free to do as they please.
Unfortunately
This entire question offends me "in their prime"? Excuse me, no woman owes it to you or anyone else to be attractive. Nor does being less attractive mean they're not "in their prime". Like seriously?
Maybe it's not them that isn't in their prime - it's the men. Douche bags and nice guys alike all have beer guys and saggy balls so might as have saggy balls and a malfunctioning penis attached to a decent person.
Get real.
And as far as lowering standards - who says guys can't be good looking and nice? If you ask me, the women going for attractive men with sh*t personalities are the ones with low standards.
I don't think it has to do with lowering standards. Nicely said, although you didn't need to mention the body parts.
Right? And women can look plenty attractive in their thirties. Even some female celebrities, like Kate Beckinsale, look better in their 30s than in their 20s IMO.
But, you know, to the nice guy, women aren't allowed to choose a guy to be attracted to, they must force themselves to be attracted to any guy who shows interest. And if she is turned off because he isn't nearly as hardworking, moral, intellectual, etc., she's "shallow." Blech.
And I've been told that you have to make compromises too, things like "if you want someone confident you'll have to deal with a wandering eye" and stuff. Ummm no.
makoto: Confidence is can be good or bad. A good relationship should have compromises, but not like that. I agree.
Judging by the up arrows, I should have got best answer.
I don't agree that the best answer should be based on the number of arrows. If that was the case, then I should have given best answer to someone who once answered my question, and got 23 up arrows (and 17 down arrows). He didn't like that he didn't get best answer.
I was kidding so chill.
women are better in their late teens and 20's
Are theyy? Men are better when they're dead and cold in the ground.
No we don´t lower our standards, it is simply that we learn to value what matters the most out of a person. When you are young, you usually notice external factors which will not help you sustaining and keeping a real relationship. In my case, a straight heart is what matters the most.
and I'm supposed to like this?
That is so not true. I am dating a nice guy now but he only want a casual relationship. I can't afford the other commitment so I am just getting along with him for now. Mistakes are good because I am learning.
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I don't believe it's as straight forward as the question cynically implies. A lot of women are muddled and have a low self esteem at a younger age. Why do you see so many attractive younger girls that are with relative beasts. Fine, these guys might be cocky and exciting, but they don't have much else going for them, many aren't even physically attractive. Objectively, they could have done much better in their 'prime'. Their consciousness is raised through experience.
Not everything is about you.
So much truth. Did you meet some of my exes, by any chance? Hah.
wasn't saying it was about me, just saying that when women become less desirable, they stop chasing bad boys
Well I am dating a very HOT 40 year old and she IS in her prime. BELIEVE ME ! lol Oh yeah baby.
But I think I will refer to the bad vs. good.
When I was younger I partied pretty heavy and lived a rough life and was bad boy that had a lot of Hot shallow women after me. Not one of them had potential of sticking around. Mainly because they didn't feel like getting treated like crap anymore and the other point is I didn't want them sticking around.
As I got older and cleaned up my life living on better morals and a kinder heart. It was harder finding a good woman. After my run with not right relationships I did find a woman that had her turn with the bad boy and was ready to be treated with respect and someone she could trust and not be afraid of leaving or what not.
So this does go both ways.
I don't think older women are lowing their standards, the a**hole guys are just chasing younger girls so the older women no longer have to deal with them as much and have more nice guys going after them. From my experience, older women shouldn't be considered past their prime. When I was in my early 20's I had sex with one women in her mid 30s and one in her early 40's and they gave awesome head and we had great sex. They know what they like, have tried more and have had the practice needed to really blow your mind in the bedroom.
We assume other people have good or decent personalities. Therefore, we choose the most exotic people on the basis that they have a good personality. After all, many of us are surrounded by good personalities.
When we meet enough people with bad personalities, we start making good personalities a priority because they start to seem more scarce. (Even though it may have more to do with the people you're choosing than the scarcity of nice people.)
Therefore, you start to appreciate more common folk with good personalities. Sometimes, it's better to be with an unextravagant person who is more in tune with you, rather than being stuck a total hottie who thinks you're never enough for them.
Read that again, and take note of the gender-neutrality. Apply where needed.
Let me break this down. Nice guy= Undecisive, a door matt, does not have his own views, follows a woman around like a lost puppy. Willing devote his time 24-7 to a woman. A dull, boring fellow.
Good guy= A leader, has the date all planned out. Born with a backbone. Willing to express his own views, not afraid to disagree on a subject matter. He likes his own space, not clingy or easily jealous. Very secure in himself.
A stable minded woman usually pic good guys over nice ones any day. Age has nothing to do with picking.
YES.
and women don't need to change much about them in order to attract men
Yes, obviously.
But if they are lowering their standards to get married, don't expect a very passionate marriage. They are trading good sex (other guys they find hot) for dull stability (you). If you aren't hall with that deal, don't take it.
A woman starts to lose her fertility from her late 20s / early 30s. This has the subconscious effect of making her less attractive to the opposite sex. Therefore she has to lower her standards. It's simple economics.
That said, just because a nice guy becomes more attractive, that doesn't mean he's going to get much sex, LOL. He may be husband material or whatever, but marriage is a notorious sex-killer, LOL.
There should be a requirement to read an article on "nice guys" vs. "good guys" before posting on GaG so we don't see this question every other day. Nice guy and bad boy are two extremes. Be the one in the middle and be your best self and you'll be happy. Go after what you want
Because it's what's available. They can't find or have given up on the bad boy with the big penis and realize that if they don't fine someone, they'll end up alone. The guy who takes her in is a fool, but to each their own.
Can't find? No honey, you have it wrong. We snared that guy in our youth and as we got a little older, we realized he wasn't what we wanted at all. My well-endowed, bad boy ex still asks to get back together. F***no.
Lol what? He'll always own that part of me? Dafuq?
When women are young, they want excitement, and are willing to overlook the fact that exciting bad-boy types generally treat women like sh*t.
As they get older, "exciting" finally becomes less important than "treats me well" and so they start looking for "nice" guys.
Almost every single "nice" guy I dated treated me like garbage. It's a facade. I was looking for someone real, genuine, moral, etc. and I got a fake-nice front and lies. Blech. That being said, bad boys don't appeal either.
This is unfortunately pretty common too.
I don't understand what's so difficult about not being a douche.
I've learned to stop looking for moral guys, and just to stop looking altogether. Dating isn't for me, at least not now, because I only get asked out by douches.
Save a few nice guys here and there, but maybe they have maturity issues or are wishy-washy.
I guess the "nice, confident, and not secretly a douche" types all get snatched up pretty quickly. High demand, stupidly low supply.
That is correct. I want a guy with morals and similar interests. Does he exist? Not on my area!
No, they raise their standards as they get older. Certain qualities become drastically more important than they use to be, which means other qualities become less important by comparison.
Yes. Or maybe they get burned a lot when young and get wiser with age, hehe.
and yet too many people say it gets easier for men as they get older, this doesn't sound like it
Yeah well "people" sound like they are being a bit too general by making a blanket statement like that. Shocker that it isn't holding water
Ugh... the "nice guy" debate. Not this sh*t again.
Right? You should see pof forums. Hundreds of whiny nice posts
Blackeagle007, I googled it and my brain feels numb. Lots of victim-blaming for a girl being mistreated.
f*** it
So that's what you see looking at 30+ women , lol. I hope not all, because many of them have been married to the same guy since their twenties.
This is a really good answer.
Because they realize they can't ride the bad boy **** carousel forever & need a good little provider for themselves and the children they had by the bad boy(s). ^^'
No, actually a lot of women aren't promiscuous, but a lot of men have double standards (they can sleep with as many men as they want, but a girl who slept with one serious boyfriend is a "whore."). It's tiring.
No we don't I'm in my 30's in my standards are higher ,
Downvoted why...?
Yes, standards for women get lower as they age.
When they hit their lowest, they would settle with just any guy.
Standards increase with age.
Because they are past their prime. Once you feel your out of it you give the second level a chance.
maybe because guys mature and stop acting like a**holes as they age...?
True, men mature more slowly, although this is not true for all men.
Just think, when you're in you're 40's you'll have it made.
and your point is?
Well since you're one of those guys that claims to be nice and can't get a girlfriend. You'll be set later on. You'll find women in their 30's and 40's that will finally give you a chance.
Standards get higher as you get older.
You sure about that?
I would think so. I wouldn't consider dating half the people I dated in hs or the people I dated throughout my early undergrad years now that I'm in grad school.
This is true. Most people usually learn from their mistakes, so they know what to look for.
then why do people say it gets easier for men with age?
I don't know about people saying it gets easier for men with age. Is there a study out there that documents this? We won't get anywhere saying that "most people think this and many people say that."
because I hear it constantly
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