My boyfriends family HATES me.. what should I do?

[jujubean99]

So my boyfriend lives in the midwest and his family is very traditional.. I live on the west coast and come from a very liberal family.. my boyfriends entire family decided from the moment they heard about me that they hated me. They try to break us up, trash talk me to my boyfriend and when I visit him they make it clear they don't want me there or anywhere near their son. I've been nothing but kind and pleasant and have never said anything bad to them.. but it is getting a little old! We have been dating for almost two years.. a long time for long distance but he is worth it! .. I just don't know what to do!

Should I keep pining for their approval or just give it up and be okay with being hated? I understand that they care about him and I respect the cultural differences.. I knew they would need some time to come to terms with it.. but two years? Thank you for any advice you can offer!

[Prettygurl12]

Welcome to my life. Only I live 15 minutes away from my boyfriend and his family lol. What you need to do (and this is easier if you're around them a lot) is appeal to their better nature. Win them over, one by one. You need to show your best side around them. Be engaging, show your love for your boyfriend and also you need to mold yourself to fit the mold they want as a daughter in law. For me, that was easy. For you, that'll probably be harder.

I won his sisters' husbands over first. Then his sisters and his dad. I'm just trying to get on good terms with his mom now.

Part of what you experience could very well just be his family putting you through the loops and giving you crap for liking their son...a test period.

You BS your way into fitting in with them and be as nice and genuine as possible and then slowly let out your true colors lol.

I've been dating my guy for almost two years as well. I've JUST started to be accepted and I see them almost every weekend. It takes time.

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[KuraiArashi]

well can't say I've ever been in that situation or anything but I personally prefer to have my g/f's parents like me. but the biggest thing that matters is the person you are with. if you really care about them then even if their parents didn't like you, I would say just ignore them and be happy with your guy.

on a side note, have you ever tried to figure out why they hate you so much?

[jujubean99]

Yeah, I guess that's true! I just am not used to being hated! I'm pretty nice :) and yeah, I know why they hate me.. or at least I have some ideas! They have blamed it on religion, as they are very religious and I don't identify with a religion. Plus, I think they are scared I'm gonna take their boy away from them.. which I am.. but not in a bad way! He is an adult and ready to be on his own..

[Fellie]

move on...when the family hates ya, it's going to be stressful and you don't need it!

[Anonymous]

ask your Boyfriend why they hate you and solve the prabloamooo

[Anonymous]

It seems that he's not the guy for you.

[Anonymous]

Communication is key.