i was mostly raised BY women so its kinda funny how i view things about men and women. best way to put it and the way i have always seen it is treat your partner as you would want to be treated. im pretty in the middle (i think) about what my girlfriend wears, if we go to a club, she can dress "revealing" as long as its not like half her ass is hanging out and the only part of her breasts are that are covered up are her nips. going to the beach a bikini is awesome but i wouldn't want her wearing something equivalent to a g string and pasties. the reason i say all this is because i think "well what if i wanted to dress nicely that showed off my muscles?" id wear a tight shirt and tight jeans. i usually dont dress like that but if i ever did, i wouldn't want my girlfriend to say "hey thats too much" when all im trying to do is look nice. but there is a point, if i was like one of those youtube guys who has 6 pack abs and was constantly taking off my shirt to show off in front of women, then i wouldn't blame my girlfriend for getting upset. all in all, i think both people in the relationship should be considerate of each other. if at that point you both are unhappy with how you dress despite trying to be considerate of each other then you might both have to consider you aren't compatible and move on. people are totally right in saying a woman (and a man) have every right to dress the way they want to but if you aren't being considerate of your partner and how they feel isn't that being disrespectful to them? they dont see things the way you do; so either help them understand or make a compromise that will make them feel better, that way you're both happy. its what being in a relationship is all about. people saying insecurity is the reason why guys dont like their gf's dressing revealingly are right some of the times, but thats also unfair to say because thats like saying that men dont have the right to respect themselves in a relationship and expect certain things out of a relationship. i honestly could tell you that i could have the most faithful and loyal girlfriend but if she dressed trashy or too revealing everytime we went out, well i would say she wouldn't be my girlfriend for too long. not because i fear her cheating on me but i just dont like the way she feels the need to show off or get attention by being revealing with clothing. show off with personality, with skills youve acquired throughout your life, not just with the most basic and primitive ways to gain a persons attention.
My girlfriend can wear what ever she wants to wear. I know that other guy will stare and probably hot on her. I'll trust that she will stand up for herself and tell those other gents that they are wasting there time. I think this situation may become an issue for discussion when we get closer to engagment and marriage. In most cases with older cousins and friends the girls and girlfriends do become more conservative the closer they are to becoming a wife and a mother. Anyway she might not have het 20's body forever so why not live a little
"obey" is not in my vocabulary. I can definitely understand where a guy is coming from when their girl girl is dressing provocatively, but for the most part girls dress for themselves. If I'm with someone it's because I want THEM and nobody else, therefore they should have nothing to worry about, and they should trust me enough to not worry. If I want to throw on some heels or where a shirt with the back open, I wear it because I think it's stylish and it makes me feel confident. & let's say a girl does get attention...as long as you don't act upon it then why does it matter?
Girls are bound to get attention here and there, regardless of the clothes their wearing. I'm not saying go out and dress in a belly button shirt and short shorts with stripper heals, but if that is how the girl dresses, her significant other most likely already knew their style before they started dating. Now if a guy suggests for you to wear something else and gives you his opinion, then that's a different story.. As long as he's not trying to dictate what you're wearing. For example, I knew a girl who's boyfriend wouldn't let her wear skinny jeans, shorts below her knee, or anything that exposed the chest area. Now that is just ridiculous. And most guys who show signs of controlling behavior are most likely to become emotionally and physically abusive.
But anyways, all in all, no. And thank god all my previous relationships were with guys who didn't try to control what I'm wearing, or any aspect of my life...because if they did all hell would break loose lol.
I's funny because I kind of had a similar situation with my boyfriend tonight. We have a party to go to tomorrow night and he didn't really tell me what dress code would be, he just told me to wear something cute, preferably a dress... It's his friend's party and guys suck at determining dress code, but I guess he knows his female friends are planning on wearing dresses. And since he's wearing a tie, I think a dress is appropriate. Anyway, I sent him a few pictures of outfits I might wear and he liked all of them but settled on a flattering, but not too sexy blue dress. Then I told him I had one more black dress that I could try on but I didn't think it was occasion appropriate... he was confused, then I flat out said it's a bit sluttier than what I normally wear. Of course he wanted to see, so I'm now wearing a rather low-cut black dress to the party, it's not tight so I'm comfortable wearing it. And he told me it's to slutty at all, he thinks it's hot. ---But I think guys are OK with their girlfriends dressing a certain way when they're with them because they kind of like to show off the girl they 'landed', that being said I wouldn't wear that dress without him around because I don't want the attention from anyone but him, and I feel it would be disrespectful to him and our relationship.
i've never had a guy I'm with do that to me but I also think I'm in kind of a different situation. one I don't dress very revealing on a regular basis, sometimes for parties I do but that's mostly it but also 2 I am a belly dancer so performing in a bra is a normal thing for me lol. I think if I had a boyfriend tell me I can't dress revealing if he's not there I would be kind of annoyed because dressing up for parties kind of involves being somewhat revealing because it's just for fun. but at the same time I probably wouldn't be that worried about dressing revealing because I wouldn't be trying to attract any other guys.
Opinion
28Opinion
u 1. I hope that my fiancée would not dress provocatively in public, regardless of whether I am with her.
2. I don't expect or want a girlfriend or wife who "obeys" me. I do want one who respects my feelings and who tries to understand why I feel that way.
I would never tell her what to wear, BUT:
Not going to pretend I understand what being a woman is, but, see I am kind of a cowboy (at least on the clothing department), so I wear thight jeans, and well I am Latino and kind of have a nice @ss, and well, I have it slapped a LOT, and slap is ok-ish, but, while I do not drink in college I used to go with my friends to bars or drunk parties, and I had been, in lack of better words, fondled by some drunk chick more times than I would have liked it, while the attention is fun and I SOMETIMES take the chance with a girl who comes after me, a lot of those times is UNWANTED attention, hey, I have caught a GUY going ninja with his cellphone trying to capture me on the urinal. And I am a MAN, and all I do is wearing thight jeans.
I think, for instance, if I had a daugther, I would try to shield her from it, because she IS going to find unwanted attention, hey, I have had my share of GIVING unwated attention also, while never harassing a girl I can recognized I have devoured them with my eyes and sure some might have been uncomfortable by it, but gets me thinking, my girl for instance, dress sexy or even DARING for ME. With me she might wear a skirt and come pantiless, but if it were like "going to be working later today, wana come meet me around here?" she would not, and HER words "do not want to be raped in the way here".
I guess if the hypotetical daughter wanted to go to a party in a sexy dress I would be concerned, like worried, not like jealous or angry, but I guess I would allow her to wear it if she is going to be with friends (that I know) and know she has someone responsible nearby, and that she is not going to be, say, taking a taxi, and KEY WORD, I would allow her to wear a "sexy" dress, like probably short, but not a see through or a buttskirt, I mean, I would be a lousy dad if I did, see I UNDERSTAND, girls want to feel sexy and desireable, and see I have enjoyed a girl comming to meet me in "easy to take of" clothes, but I understand SHE WANTS me to take them off, and I had.
if my girl wants to dress provocatively when out with her friends is OK with me, I would be a little worried , not "she wants guys to flirt with her", more like "hope no one disrespects her tonight", and got to be honest, one of my girls was groped by a drunk guy when out with her friends, when she told me I made the guy pay, but at the same time, honestly, after seeing pictures of her that day, I would have wanted to grope her too, NOT HER FAULT, but again, I KNOW my pants look "inviting" and if I wanted it to stop, I would wear less revealing ones, I DO NOT, but I know I have to deal with and even EXPECT a slap every now and then.
YEAH would be NICE to be able to go out naked and have everyone looking at your eyes, but it will not happen, nor will disrepectful people will stop existing, we have to aknowledge them and if we want to take our chances (I do), KNOW that has a price to pay.
If she is my girl its cause she wants to be therefore why not trust her. Sure a lot more guys will try to go for her but if she wants to be with me then she'll turn down all those guys. So my answer is no I don't mind. Of course this depends on the type of place she is going and with who/hm as I would worry for her safety since some people are of the "we can do this the easy way or hard way" mentality where the answer is always "yes"
But overall, All that bull**** controllin, jealous, and tryin to act all alpha male just lets... me ...know you are insecure and think she'll have no problem droppin yo ass like a rock. (does not include being alpha to remove persistent ones that have already been hit with the "no" that one is legit)
and honestly whether your married or dating or wateva is all mutually consensual. you never own a girl and a girl never owns a guy the two are together for as long as "both" want to be that's it period. if she/he cheats its cause they chose to be with someone else even if for one night/day if you can't accept it then end it. if you can then move on.
There needs to be a balance.
I can understand a woman wanting to look sexy for a day, but if she's always like that, I am going to wonder if she likes the attention or is looking to attract someone else.. There are some things couples should keep down to a minimal.
Honestly, there's attraction in the exclusivity aspect of things to. You can dress sexy, or you can dress sexy "for your man." Doing the second choice here is 10x hotter than flaunting your body around the block.
Plus I don't think a lot of girls know what guys actually say about them when they dress in minimal clothes. I get the impression girls think guys are saying "wow. she's hot" when the guys are actually saying something like, "Can you picture that slut bent over being fucked hard?" I personally wouldn't want to date a girl who wanted to dressed in a way that made guys say that about her. On top of that, those are the guys she's drawing to herself. If she doesn't have enough common sense to stop situations like that before they start, it's just not going to work.
If you are in a relationship with someone, I believe it shows a level of disrespect to your partner to flaunt your body. I am no prude, but women know by wearing a revealing outfit they are going to receive attention from other males for the wrong reason. This debate has gone on for a long time and women like to say the guy is insecure, but I believe it is the women showing signs of needing validation. If a woman wants to wear revealing clothes while her man is not around that's her business, but don't get mad if your man is seeking cheap attention from the oppisite sex while your not around either.
I'll be honest and say that I wouldn't really love it. That said, I certainly would never try and dictate what she wears. Ever.
I should also add that I don't usually go for girls that wear very revealing clothes anyways. There's nothing wrong with it, but they just don't usually end up being my type.
I want her to feel free to wear whatever she wants but I also want her to be smart about what she wears and where she is wearing it. I understand one's desire to feel attractive so never want to sort of try and control that...
my girlfriend wears what she wants, when she wants and I am 100% fine with it
why would I have to obey him? what is he my dad or something? I can wear whatever I want whenever or wherever I want.He can't have control over my dressing. We don't wear revealing clothes for our boyfriends or just to please them but to feel good about oneself and feel sexy.Its your body wear whatever you want whenever you want and your boyfriend's presence or unpresence doesn't play a part in this.Its all about trust .If you trust each other then everything is fine but if a guy controls over what kind of clothes you should wear or not wear when is around or not around well that doesn't sound oo right to me.It just sounds like he would have trust issues and is over controlling and over protective and that is a huge turn off for me.
If she wears revealing clothing while in a relationship, and they guy is not there, it is extremely disrespectful to the guy. That's like putting a for sale sign around your neck when you are already taken. So why would you feel the need to make yourself seem available to other men?
Here's my take on it. When I am dating a girl and she says she wants to wear revealing clothing when I am not around, I am not gonna stop her. She is free to do whatever it is she wants to do. BUT, she's not gonna be MY girlfriend anymore. That's the point. And I will tell her that and see how she responds. If she still does it, well then that's all I need to know about her.
Not really, She is a human being with free will, she can decide for herself and I wouldn't want to try to control her.
So if she wants to wear something she likes but it shows cleavage, that's her decision to make, she will have to tell the guys to back off her, not me. It works both ways too, If I want to wear a shirt that's tight and shows off my physique, she can't say anything as well. Its all about respect and understanding.
If I was taking my girl with me somewhere, I could probably get her to wear panties and pasties if I wanted her to (and the situation was appropriate), but if I wasn't there, I don't think it would even occur to her to wear revealing clothes. When she wears revealing clothes, she does it for ME.
I'm pretty sure SHE would say that "it wouldn't be appropriate to do without my boyfriend around." She normally asks for my opinion about her wardrobe if we go anywhere out of our normal routine.
When a woman dresses provocatively, she does so to provoke (duh!). She does it to attract the attention of men. If she in an exclusive relationship with a man, why would she wear revealing clothing when he's not around?
Yes I would have a problem with it because it's willfully disrespectful to me. If my woman did that to me I would kick her low-class ass to the curb.
Yes, I mind. People can wear whatever they want but if you're in a relationship and say your girlfriend goes out to the clubs dressed provocatively what message does that send? Sure women can use the "it makes me feel sexy" excuse but in reality they dress like that with the intention to get attention from other people. Whether subconsciously or consciously. you're in a relationship. If you need attention from other guys to feel sexy why are you in a relationship? Then people will say "oh well if you trust her not to cheat then why are you worried?" If she goes out dressed like that she will cheat. Its only a matter of time at that point. More and more guys will hit on her and give her attention and eventually she'll come to look forward to it and then whatdya know. She "accidentally" slept with another guy. So nah. If she wants to wear revealing clothing? Sure go for it. But I won't be around to get my feelings hurt.
in my opinion, since i have not had a girlfriend before, my opinion on this topic is:
if i were to have a girlfriend, i certainately would not mind let her wear whatever she wants to, whether it is decent or revealing , cause its basically in a manner of trust of what she would do
if a girlfriend were to dress decent or revealing, whether for the guy or her buds or both, to be honest, i would make sure they were okay, cause if other guys were near her friends, the first girlfriend would need to remember she's doing something nice for them
now, as for the other guys that try to bother a girl that i would talk to, they probably would be wasting their time, basically, cause again, its a manner of trusting the person, and i certainately think if there were other girls around making sure she was okay, then the other guys probably wouldn't bother her, theyd probably find someone else
I'm conservative anyway since I'm pretty self conscious about my body due to body dysmorphia.
No tight clothes, capris and guy shirts in summer, and nothing where my butt or boobs are hanging out or showing.
Don't want to scare people.
As a girlfriend, it's not my job to "obey" my boyfriend, nor would it by my duty to obey him if he was my husband later on.
Men who try to control their girlfriend's are egotistical and insecure all in one. I know I'm pretty, I know I have the body of the hot 20 year old I am, and, truth is, I get looked at up and down REGARDLESS of what I'm wearing. If my boyfriend ever tried to exercise control over me, I would dump him so fast, and I would expect the same out of him if I ever tried to control him. Relationships should be based upon trust and love, not control and insecurity.
I wouldn't have a problem with that...I'm not that controlling. I wouldn't want to be with a girl that didn't want me to look MY best out of insecurity of her not being around! :)
I don't care. She can wear whatever makes her confident and happy.
Lol @ dictating what my girlfriend can or cannot wear in/away from my presence.
You ladies need to stop putting up with guys' insecurities like this, so hopefully they will learn that it isn't acceptable and to let it die out.
I don't see myself as being concerned with what she wears when I'm not around, I would trust her to take care of herself.
Most Helpful Opinions