5 Sure-Fire Ways to REALLY Hurt Your Girlfriend

I get that arguments can erupt and things can be said out of anger. And though I know women aren’t the easiest creatures to live with, even if we start an argument ourselves out of nothing (which we have created down to a science), there are some things that guys should never spit out in the heat of the moment.

Arguing is one thing, and perhaps bringing up problems that she’s inflicted might be your defense mechanism, and please – in no way do I think it’s one-sided. I’d offer a “Sure-fire ways to really hurt your man” Take, but I’m not a guy so I can’t give 100% to that. Perhaps a guy out there might want to do a counter take to mine to let women know what sorts of things are off-limits to say to men.

Auntie Ozanne's "Don'ts" to Keep in Mind When You're Scrapping with Your Woman

5 Sure-Fire Ways to REALLY Hurt Your Girlfriend

(I thought this picture said it all. She's got a look on her face as if she's thinking, "Oh no.. he did NOT just say that to me.")

1. Don’t criticize her body. If it’s in you to snarl a comment that she’s put on weight, her boobs aren’t big enough, or you happen to hate her dangly inner labia, well then *owch*, that is something you can’t exactly take back because you’ve made a crude observation about something about her own personal body and not so readily changeable (if she could at all). Weight takes a long time and hard work to lose, bigger boobs cost good money to enhance, and how would you feel if your girl felt inclined to tell you that maybe your genitals needed to be snipped for some improvement? Just please don’t do it. It’s abhorrently hurtful and kills part of your girl’s spirit. Kill, meaning, it doesn’t come back. It’s dead. She will forever hear those words out of your mouth in her mind and get hurt all over again when she thinks of it. No apology afterward makes this better - ever.

2. Don’t put her mother down. Even if her mom is a psycho, to bring her mom in to the argument by laying on insults about her is a personal shot at your girlfriend too. This is the woman that raised her, taught her how to be the woman you supposedly love, and even if Mommie Dearest has got problems, it’s for your girlfriend to identify and speak about, not anyone else. Mother-daughter relationships can be necessary and of value to your girlfriend even if their relationship seems toxic. It’s off-limits to cut down her mom even if the argument is about her mom. State some facts that you know about, but to chime in with personal insults is not okay. This is especially not okay when her mom is otherwise a good mom but just has some typcial-annoying-mom traits that every girl knows about her own mother. No mom is perfect, and most of us cherish our moms even when they are annoying sometimes. Our moms are the second most important person in our lives, next to you. We treasure their support even if we are a bit bratty as daughters to know this. You should remind us of that, not hurt the situation.

3. Don’t bring up personal and potentially embarrassing things she does. This is touchy, because though you should be able to, such as telling her something like she has bad breath or that she doesn’t know how to wipe her ass properly (something you might have noticed when you give her oral sex), the timing during a fight can be the worst thing you could do. These are very sensitive subjects to bring up and should be reserved for times when there is no threat to how you feel about her. During an argument, saying it out of anger is humiliating. If you’re in a scrap because she’s angry that you always lose the car keys, bring up her skid marks as your defense is not playing fair in the argument and things like that should be handled at a much better time in a much more sensitive way. Most women want to be seen as creatures of beauty, and to be notified that we have something going on with us on par with a female gorilla makes us feel as if we must be trolls.

5 Sure-Fire Ways to REALLY Hurt Your Girlfriend

4. Don’t say you’re not sure if you even love her anymore. This goes for the times when she manages to choke out an, “I-still-love-you,” and your response might be, “Well, I don’t love you right now,” or you don’t respond to it at all, leaving her in a lurch. This is a rotten feeling for a woman. It’s her way of trying to calm rough waters. For you to crush her feelings of love by either telling her you don’t have any love for her anymore, you don’t love her at the moment, or even that you hate her are terrible ways to respond to this. Love is too important of an emotion to play around with words about. Be mad all you want, but unless you actually do mean that you do not love her anymore and your argument is the start of your breakup then never say this. Know the difference between feeling overwhelmed with anger as opposed to outright hate or loss of love. You can still argue and love each other, and if this happens, words matter. Fight through your anger to at least say, “I love you too...that’s why I’m so mad.”

5 Sure-Fire Ways to REALLY Hurt Your Girlfriend

5. Don’t let her cry alone. I know we must sound like total babies, but at any age, if we are hurt, especially by the man we love, going off to cry is not the same as a man choosing to storm out of the house to go work in the garage. Men do this to cool off and be alone. Women want to feel like she’s worth being chased, and in the end, soothed. This means when she starts to sob, it’s a really bad time to stomp out of the room and leave her alone when the one thing she really wants is for you to charge over to her, grab her, and hold her. Even if she resists a hug, don't leave her. Ask her what she wants you to do. If she barks at you, "nothing!" - you know that means something. So think about it. Stay with her during her outburst and this means don't look at your phone or get sidetracked by something else. This also means not going to bed angry or sad. If you’re lying in bed and can hear her sniffling, do you know what goes through our heads? Everything. When you claim that you’re tired and don’t want to talk, we lie there thinking that you might not love us, care enough to soothe us before sleeping, and we have cinematics running through our minds that will keep us awake and worried because we can’t relax. The best thing to do is at least find it in you to roll over to her, kiss her goodnight, tell her you still love her and things will be okay. (Then...give her some sex.)

5 Sure-Fire Ways to REALLY Hurt Your Girlfriend

5 Sure-Fire Ways to REALLY Hurt Your Girlfriend
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Queen_naki5
    I had an ex who did all of these things to me so reading this hit close to home. It reminded me of the time where I was crying and he was sitting there and trying to tell me to be quiet because we were in a public place and he was embarrassed. You never hurt a woman like that. My self-esteem was on the ground. He was manipulative and I'm proud of myself that I knew that I deserved better. Thanks for this 😀.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Ozanne

      It's amazing at how low some people are to really go out of their way to be so insensitive to the one person they claim to love. One guy I dated actually was visibly way nicer to friends and family and there was a marked difference by the time we got home and the door was shut with how he decided to talk to me and shift his mood in to asshole-mode, reserved just for me. When I tried to tell friends that he was a complete dick when we are together, no one could believe it because he was Mr Happy Joking Around Guy with EVERYone but me.

      And yes, I went through quite a few of these, and they were devastatingly bad to hear - especially at the wrong times to hear them. It would be bad enough to hear them in a quiet, civil conversation because they are very personal and require a lot of tact in order to make them come out right, but during an argument when other things are making you both mad and these things are spat out in order to make a point are just horrible.

    • I could honestly say that people like that have issues. Maybe multiple personality disorder, whatever the reason. It certainly gave me a bad taste in mouth for awhile about keeping my distance. I just had a hard time accepting that he didn't actually love and care about me like he said. If so, he would have shown it. Actions speak louder than words. You can't say you love me and treat me like you hate me.

    • And wow 😕. Your ex sounded like a real nut case. I would honestly lose my cool if I had to deal with a person who was personally an A-hole to me on a daily basis.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Frost_Byt3
    For the male counter take:

    1. "Don't say shit about his penis size".

    That's literally all that needs to be said. We can take anything else you hurl at us, but this is the one thing that can't be healed.
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

2133
  • lonerider
    Summary of the myTake
    1. Take out your ego and self respect.
    2. Place it on the ground
    3. See how she steps over it (because she loves you)
    4. Do nothing (because you love her)

    Looks like a perfectly healthy relationship to me.
    • I don't see any of that anywhere, maybe you're just bitter because no one wants you.

    • Ozanne

      Yeah I don't believe that was said anywhere either, and don't know what compelled you to come in to my Take to put words in my mouth. Please write the male version of this Take (something I invite in the second paragraph) and link it here so I can go summarize your writing for you and see how you like it.

    • lonerider

      I would even care to write any one sided MyTake. A relationship is a two way street. If you're justifying the irrational acts done by women - "even if we start an argument ourselves out of nothing " . Why? Just why? If you'll act in a bad way, you'll get treated in a bad way. If you watch a disney movie and expect men to act like that where whatever you do, you'll be treated like a princess, then you're on the path of destruction. Again, a relationship is a two way street. If you want someone to treat you nice, you must learn to treat him nice. Give and take. Love and be love. Its not " act erratically and be loved". But if you want to live in a fairy tail world, you are free to choose.

    • Show All
  • Illusive_Man
    Awwww that's not fun!
    So many rules!

    As long as we can do the same to each other then it's FAIR GAMMMMEEEEE

    NO RULES!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3VMc82gX5I
  • PiuBelloAmante
    Can also be called
    "Reasons why she left you"

    Good take, if I get a girlfriend (in my dreams, I don't know why girls don't like me 😔) this semester I will keep this in mind
    • Ozanne

      I don't know why either. You seem like the kind of guy a girl would really value having in her life. :)

  • JuicyBrain
    "Then, give her some sex" LOL
    Spoken like a true soldier !

    I totally agree that skidmarks are not to be discussed in anger. It is to be discussed while frantically brushing your teeth lol.
    • Ozanne

      A better way to put it is when the lady is all freshened up to say, "I love it when you're all clean from getting out of the bath/shower... I prefer it this way.." if she digs in and wonders why (but I think she'll get it at that point) then he can use himself as an example, "I wouldn't want you going down on me after I've gone to the toilet or spent the whole day in the same pair of underwear, if you know what I mean." Then for sure she'd get it. But in the middle of an argument? No. You'll have a rabid animal on your hands who will now have to deal with what you've said AND the humiliation of being told at such a wrong time.

    • JuicyBrain

      You are absolutely right of course. I might take a more direct route though as I really see nothing to worry about. It's just accidental. I would tell her to go clean herself and come back for more fun... I would not make a big deal out of it.

  • lilac_flowers
    1. I don't agree.
    Do it gently, reassure this doesn't make me completely unlovable, but if my partner doesn't like something (changeable) about my body I want to know. If I'm too skinny, too chubby, if my hair turns him off, if my dress puts him off, etc. I want to know even if it hurts to hear criticism, because knowing this will allow me to build a good relationship with him. To be able to make him happy.
    And I want to be able to say the same things in return!

    If way too much bothers him, then we shouldn't be dating, but he should tell me regardless. I want to know where I stand.

    But if he bitches about something I can't change, I'm probably gonna leave him. If I feel like he hates parts of me that are permanent, I can't ever feel good around him.

    2. Eh.. Not really. If you think my mum's crazy, my bro's a cunt, my dad's lame... It's ok. Say it, I won't resent you. But if you decide on rejecting them forever, if you give up on them, or if you continue to repeat it a lot to me to pull me away from them. Then I'll just find you whiny, childish and annoying.
    You don't have to like my family, but don't annoy me with it.
    But then again, if you hate my family, you're probably going to hate me too, so this is a not a possible issue for me. =/

    3. No. Absolutely disagree. If I'm unaware, or getting too relaxed about something because I think it's not a big deal, I want it said so I can be motivated to fix it. By keeping silent, a guy will destroy our relationship.
    Plus it's so annoying when a guy walks on eggshells around you.

    4. Agree.
    5. Agree. (I'm emotional, don't take me seriously at all. I may as well be a kid.)
  • ThisDudeHere
    ''even if we start an argument ourselves out of nothing'' why oh why do you do that?

    ''Women want to feel like she’s worth being chased'', that's a tad bit self-centered. I know that by stating this I'm 'missing the point', but still...

    ''for you to charge over to her, grab her, and hold her. Even if she resists a hug, don't leave her.'' [sigh]... then why even do things opposite to what you want? I mean... even in anger men still are more direct and rational.

    The same goes for the 'nothing - something' thing. It is extremely annoying tbh.

    Not to be that one guy again but this entire thing does nothing but propogate the ''oh for fuck's sake's, not this irrational b#####t again, I don't have to deal with this'' thought pattern in men.

    Have you women ever stopped to think about what you're putting your men through when you are two-faced and emotional like this?
    • Ozanne

      I can't explain why we do the things we do, especially about making men guess - other than we think that men should be wired to know us really well to magically know what we want. We think we have it figured out because we work hard at trying to get to know what makes you guys tick, so we hope you do the same for us and hate having to tell you that over and over.

      As for starting arguments over nothing, again, I don't know other than maybe because our minds are blasting around 100 miles an hour thinking of possible reasons why you're not speaking to us or why you said something curt to us, and we start assuming and then having this whole conversation with ourselves in our minds that we think we have it figured out what's going on that suddenly you find your girlfriend stomping in the living room saying, "So THAT's why you never ate my lasagne tonight!!!" And the guy's like, "Huh?" And it all stems from something your mom said to us five months ago about something totally unrelated.

  • admles
    Wait, so... #5... if we are having a fight and MY emotional response is to go do something and cool off, that's just too bad, I have to suppress that to deal with her needs, but she doesn't have to worry about mine?

    That's the impression I'm getting here.
    • Ozanne

      No, of course not, but I also think you should figure it out because it's not that hard. If storming out of the room is what you want to do, fine, but I wouldn't leave her in a lurch, it would be better to say "Look I've gotta go cool off, just give me a few minutes."

  • complicated_soul
    "when the one thing she really wants is for you to charge over to her, grab her, and hold her. Even if she resists a hug, don't leave her. Ask her what she wants you to do. " aww yes💕💕

    "The best thing to do is at least find it in you to roll over to her, kiss her goodnight, tell her you still love her and things will be okay. "

    ❤❤ yes! Great Take!
  • Azara
    It's sad people have to actually be told this. Anyone who would say any of this during a fight shouldn't be in a relationship. I also really don't think a guy wants to hear any of that any more than a woman would.

    Also like for me if I walk off I DO want to be alone and I don't cry , so if I did I'd DEFINITELY want to be alone bc I'd find it embarrassing to do in front of someone also if I'm that upset I want to be upset privately. Just like A lot of guys want to be asked what's wrong not left to themselves when upset. And anyone who is feeling murderous rage SHOULD go off to cool down regardless of their sex.

    What you tend towards really depend son what your used to how you were raised and your personality. Far more than want sex you are.
    • Ozanne

      I think there might be some guy-specific things like a woman making some comment about his penis size, or any dig at his masculinity for that matter. What they are, I can't even guess, which is why I hoped maybe a guy could piggy-back this Take and do one based on what guys almost never need to hear.

  • randomocity
    that first picture
    "Hey Billy, whats up?"
    "The sky"
    "OMG,... how could you do dis to me..."
    • "5 Sure-Fire Ways to REALLY Hurt Your Girlfriend"
      Don’t criticize her body.
      Don’t put her mother down.
      Don’t bring up personal and potentially embarrassing things she does.
      Don’t say you’re not sure if you even love her anymore
      Don’t let her cry alone.

      so if i do do these things, she will be really happy with me? I thing you need to work on your wording there.
      also.
      "Don’t say you’re not sure if you even love her anymore" that shouldn't even be on there because if the boyfriend doesn't love his girlfriend, do you expect him just to fake it? and i bet a girl would come right out and say she doesn't love him anymore.

    • Ozanne

      You:
      "I thing you need to work on your wording there."

      (Oh the irony.)

      Okay, anyway, so much for reading my Take because it clearly says:
      "Be mad all you want, but unless you actually do mean that you do not love her anymore and your argument is the start of your breakup then never say this."

      So if you were just patient and read that section carefully you would have seen that NO, unless you mean you do actually do NOT love her and you don't wish to lead her on with love, then don't say this.

    • Nik1hil

      That comment made my day

  • Pampered
    Wow my boyfriend would never cross these types of boundaries no matter how mad he gets. The most he's ever done during a fight is laugh in my face, tell me he can't deal with me right now, or say i'm being "irrational", "a princess", etc. We always talk shit out afterwards. He has neverrr insulted my appearance or my personal life, but that's what you get for dating a mature guy and not an ASSHOLE.
  • BeautifulMind59
    Wow! I love it! Straight to the point as always! I wonder how you do this.

    The troll part really got me. I was in a pretty bad relationship once, and even though I'm generally pretty ok appearance-wise, when I saw this funny movie with a troll in it, I cried for it, I actually did. I felt truly sorry for it because I could understand how it felt.
    • ALL of the 5 points you mentioned are really
      great and insightful, and are surprisingly and amazingly SO TRUE!

  • letsdanz123
    Hi! Sorry, I know I might be spamming you, sorry :/ But we were messaging not long ago and then for some reason, you changed your settings and now you only allow messages from followings. But you're not following me, so we can't message lol. Is there a way you could fix this?
    • Ozanne

      Hi, sorry - I needed to clean up my profile so that it's ready for my hiatus. I'm making this my final public post before I leave. I didn't want people to message me while I'm gone thinking I was going to be ignoring them. So my profile is now private and I've disabled the messages. I'm sorry we couldn't have talked more but starting tomorrow I need to begin my new life, moving in to my new home and then taking a much needed break for a couple of weeks. Take care! I hope things will work out with you. :)

  • KayDanns
    1) Firstly I dont know if I come under this because my girlfriend always moans about her B cups and I say there small. I make jokes that I have a bigger chest but it's only in good humour. I dont think she thinks about it.
    2) I haven't met her mother yet.
    3) She doesn't have hygienic issues so no problem. But I make jokes about her smelling fishy.
    4) Im not the type to say I love you a lot. Maybe once a month or whatever. I think the word loses meaning when it's overused.
    5) I hate Girls that cry for reasons that are stupid. Therefore I guess I do just avoid her in these situations. This is so she doesn't escalate the situation. I get a female freind to talk sense into her sometimes.

    I guess im not a great boyfriend but I dont insult her body unless its a joke and of she can't handle it then it's her issue. Crying females I despise unless it's reasonable e. g. Deaths and others. I tend to just start finding it funny when she cries because I just dont see how weak some people are.
  • GoodDogNigel
    I mean, she can do all these things to you, but never EVER do it to her!
    • Ozanne

      So much for reading what I wrote. I just said in the second paragraph and told one other guy here, if you've got a guys' version of this Take, then instead of bitching about what I've written, write one on behalf of the guys so that we can figure out what's off limits for us. I pretty much know that stomping off while you cry isn't going to make it on any guy's list, so go ahead and create one rather than pick this one apart as being one sided when I made it clear I'd like to see the guys make a Take giving their own sure fire ways to hurt their guy.

  • Snoopy90
    why do women speculate or create ideas that their man doesn't love them because he didn't do a certain thing besides saying I love you
    • Ozanne

      If you're referring to #4, that's not what I wrote. I wrote that if you outright SAY the words you don't love her anymore or tell her you hate her, then that's a very big problem. There is no room for error with that one. If you choose to expel those words, then there is no mistaking it.

      My own quote:
      "Love is too important of an emotion to play around with words about. Be mad all you want, but unless you actually do mean that you do not love her anymore and your argument is the start of your breakup then never say this."

  • Dipsy
    I understand that its rude to criticise someone by his body, but i dont agree with the weight part. Its rude to say: "I dont like [that body part]!" because you barely can improve it, HOWEVER, you can lose weight and it has great results! Not only for looks, but also for her own self-esteem. You might say that it takes too long to lose weight, but if you have fun in sporting (together) and have the determination to lose it, it's not an awfull 'process' at all.
    So many men go to the gym or sport, because they want to see improvements.
    • Ozanne

      I understand, but I think you're missing the point with what I meant there. I could be wrong, but what I mean is when you're in a heated argument that has nothing to do with the girl's weight, let's say you're sick of her always being late when you agree to go do something, and you get in to a big argument over it. She says, 'you know what I'm tired of you picking at me about being late' and you spit out, 'Well you know what, I'm tired of seeing you pack on the pounds!' It's stuff like that that is just mean and it's not meant to do some good, it's words used as a weapon. If you sat down and had a heart-to-heart with your girlfriend about getting in to shape, it would not come across anywhere near as hostile as it would in an argument where it has no place. That's what I meant by that. And also, I had covered that weight loss is NOT and easy thing to do. It takes time and a lot of hard work, so even if she agreed, she'd be hurt by it for a long time until the weight was off.

    • Dipsy

      Oh ok, I see.

      If my future girlfriend would tell me in a heart-to-heart conversation that she thinks i should get some abs, I'd be happy to do that for her. Id be happy to train a lot to get abs and stuff for her. See a relationship as one

  • PhiOmega
    I don't know, i see ur point but all i'm hearing is compromising n catering

    Again they all sound great, n helpful, to women... only

    If we argue n u piss me off there's a good chance I'm not about to hug u, i'm probably about to drive somewhere
    • PhiOmega

      Guy version?
      (Short)

      1-don't cheat
      2-...
      3-...
      4-...
      5-...

    • PhiOmega

      Oh! I forgot...
      Don't assume we kno we're mind readers

  • Scrambledagain
    You know, I was going to have a dig here and then number 4 struck a chord with me. My son of a bitch dad and my mom had a massive fight when I was young. I remember my mom crying her heart out afterwards and then I will never forget: she made coffee for my dad after the dust settled. As she brought it to him he said "thanks for nothing" and took it aggressively from her. She tried calming those waters only to be spat on my dad. my dad also told her she is the ugliest girl in the world. Seriously! My moms outlook on life obviously wasn't good and it rubbed off on me hence my dark outlook on love and marriage and all that shit. But I blame my dad. He has lost his son. I get on with him but i have no respect for him. I haven't needed his help or opinion since i moved out. My poor mother is still with him.
    • Ozanne

      Wow, Scrambled that's a horrible thing to have to witness. :( I don't blame you for being against marriage, but your mom should be a good example of what it's like to have persevered even when things are shitty to know that there are good women out there like her to give you some hope. And if she was still able to stick around through that then imagine how much better she would have been had she been spoken to a lot better. It really doesn't take much to love a woman right but holy hell it takes a few things like that to totally break her. I was always the kind of person who just wanted to NOT get treated like shit. I didn't ask for the moon, I didn't want money or stuff, just as long as someone just didn't treat me like shit. Not such a tall order. Yet there were guys who couldn't even deliver that much. I finally found one who could, and I reward him with everything just for talking to me like I deserve to be loved. I don't get things other women do, but I don't care.

  • jormungand
    In general i agree with your take, excluding a few points. And i'd write a MyTake from the men point of view, but my English and writing skills aren't good enough. So yeah, sorry, no can do. I'll repost it if i find one tho
  • Calex
    "Don’t say you’re not sure if you even love her anymore"

    My ex did this to me and I know how bad that gets. When someone says that, it's the same as saying "I don't love you"

    The weird part is that we said that to each other every day, many times, so why would you suddenly stop loving someone in the snap of fingers, unless the whole "I love you" things were a lie?
    • Calex

      Correction: The weird part is that we said that we love each other every day.

    • Ozanne

      I know. It's bad. Words end up losing their meaning if they're said more than the actions. These same people just stupidly waste words by also replacing them with cruel things to say because to them, nothing they say seems to mean much. Not the I-love-yous and not the "I don't love you anymores". They just say what they think is right for the moment but not thinking too far ahead.

  • serious
    Yes what you are saying is right but then why would a man who truly loves her woman would want to hurt her? a true man would never do that.
    • tenchu11

      I don't know I've loves some woman with tempers... I would try and be nice and soothing and she's just want to fight and be really mean

  • Checkers82
    The last one is perfect, I've seen that a lot of the girls agree but all the guys are saying they wouldn't. Come on males, step up your game!
  • NatashaJ
    If a guy tells me he hates me then I leave him what the hell why would I stay and why would he say that when he was angry that's fuck up.
  • Bluemax
    Sadly, I wonder how many guys are reading this thinking, "Thanks, Ozanne. You just handed me more ammunition!"
    • Ozanne

      Maybe. But I don't know. If someone is going to be that hurtful, they probably have already used these and maybe even a few of their own.

  • sp33d
    I can vouch for each and every one of these. Bring them dislikes!
    • Ozanne

      What do you mean? You've said these things in the past and felt the backlash after having said them to her? :(

    • sp33d

      Means that I am one who likes to experiment and verify result. They deserved it, though.

  • heavensgift2girls
    I agree with 1-4, but I can not accept 5. If she wants my respect, then she needs to act like an adult and tell me what is wrong, instead of saying nothing, when I ask what she wants. Being a woman is not an excuse to act like a child. Us trying to give her sex when she is that upset, is just going to get us accused of being insensitive and selfish, and every guy knows it.

    Women wating us to chase after them is just a mind game that any man with self respect is going to refuse to play. It just teaches her that being a drama queen helps her control her man. It doesn't get better until the guy stops letting her get away with such childish and selfish behavior.

    Like I said 1-4 I fully agree with, and is good advise for both genders. 5 however is only acceptable because of outdated ideas about how women are weak and emotinal so therefore can't be held to the same standards as men. Women aren't that weak, and can control their emotions better than that if they want to.
    • I think the main reason women say nothing is because most of us have an experience driven assumption of how men reacts to getting the real answer. Men in my experience do not react well when a girl states what is wrong. But the feeling of being upset and your man just walking away & leaving you alone while he goes about his day hurts.. It gives the girl the feeling that they do not care. The saying " actions speak louder than words" is one with a lot of truth to it. Especially if its a fight about something the guy did that hurt the girl in the first place. Trying to be there for her & her wanting you to be there for her is in no way a game. Not one any respectable girl would play anyway. I also dont see how crying or showing emotion is linked with weakness or childish its human and its normal.

    • But like i said it comes down to pre-embedded assumptions I dont cry easily but would want to be able to show and express my emotions to my man & for him to respect them & want to comfort me because he cares as I would for him.

    • @scorpioGirl01 If a guy is really that bad that he makes her cry out of his cruelness, then they won't be together long. Which is why most of the time when it happens it is just a mind game. If a guy caters to that crap, then she starts using it to manipulate him all the time, even when she was wrong. Women do this order to put the guy on the defensive, because she got called out for her bad behavior, but now the guy has to suddenly make her feel better. It allows her to win any argument, simply by crying.

      It is similar to when women threaten to leave the guy any time they get into a fight so he has to choose between being dumped, or letting her win every argument. The only way to deal with it is to expect her to carry herself like an adult and not like some wounded child. If a woman threatens to leave a guy, the best thing he can do is offer to help pack her bags. They straighten up and stop playing those mind games after that.

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  • PrincessTashaaaa
    Yep. Number 1.
    My boyfriend has called me a 7, and he's said three times that my boobs are small. And he asked, in all seriousness... if I could grow my ass as big as Nicki Minaj. For real.

    Whatever. I know I'm a 5 and that's pushing it. I know I'm an A cup. But don't bloody say it to me. He should say I'm a 10 because he's my boyfriend. He should say he likes my boobs the way they are. He should be happy I work on my butt.

    It's been a year now and I remember these things every. single. day. I think I probably despise him a little bit.
  • sluggognatface
    I brag to all my friends that she has the smelliest vagina ever, I tell her she looks just like her mother, I tell her she acts just like her mother, I shit in the bed and blame it on my cat and I sometimes will break out the nunchucks.
  • truthistruth1
    we also have have many problems but girls don't care about the like be a man if we show our feelings and so. many girls think if a girl hit you dont hit her back and be a man.
  • Nik1hil
    Point 1-2-3-4 are very true, will rruin your life. But a guys goes against point 5 it's dead end for any relationship.
  • MickyMouse1231
    The last one is pretty perfect. Whether you're fighting or not.
  • pinkbubble
    Good take :) my boyfriend should read it lol a lot to learn..
  • MaisGem21
    On the first bit I know majority of it is based on more common body issues but the thing that will hurt most for me is when people comment on my nose... I was born with cleft lip and palette so my nose is dodgy. I was bullied for it in school and it always made me wonder if a guy would ever see past it.

    Quite a few have. But I was in a abusive relationship about 3 years ago, he saw past it and then suddenly it'll be an issue to which he would use my deformation as a reason that no-one will love me.
    My number one rule when it comes to any relationship; if they use my appearance against me... get rid of them. Best way :)
    • Ozanne

      Wow. I don't know what to say there. That is just such nonsense. I can't believe a guy actually would use something like that against you in an argument! What an ass. People who hit below the belt like that are true heels and I totally agree that getting rid of them if that's the weapon they choose when they fight. I've been overweight my whole life, and when a guy used that against me when breaking up with him, that became his last words to me too: "No one will ever marry you because you're fat." I remember him calling me the next day saying he was sorry and that all he wanted was a reaction out of me because I seemed to not really react when I was splitting up with him. Nice way to try and get one, you know? Yes, I reacted. I reacted with a good clean break up, that was all. In time, I did marry, and actually I never even gave that comment a thought until just now that this guy once said that to me. LOL

    • MaisGem21

      Ouch wow when a guy says someone wouldn't get with you because of a major flaw it can be pretty hurtful!
      But then there's people who uses their flaws as a reason to seem like the victim. My best friend once dated a girl who was overweight... she used that to her advantage. She played the overweight card on everyone who proves her wrong... like "you don't like me just because I'm fat!"... no we don't like you because you lied about being raped for attention. She also lied about having cancer to get my best friends undivided attention... she pretty much as a shitty personality but likes to say no-one likes her because of her weight. Can't stand people who use my flaws against me and I can't stand people who use their own flaws to win an argument.

  • Bimbobambo
    Lol I like how you couldnt resist typing "then give her some sex" at the end XP but yeah, thank you! This is helpful really.

    I guess there won't be a counter take. For me at least.. she could say anything to me, this "its dead, it won't come back" situation doesn't exist. If she is sorry and I really feel that she is, Im cool with that and forget it immediatly. Just... just dont do the same mistake over and over again.. because with everytime someone does it again I lose trust in the "Im sorry" part afterwards.

    So the counter take would be, just dont be rude and if you are, just be sorry, and watch out next time.
    • Ozanne

      I wish I could be more like this. :( Sadly, I rerun things in my mind from the past sometimes even though the person is long out of my life. When I wrote this Take I nearly had tears in my eyes when I wrote a couple of them, particularly the "don't tell her you don't love her anymore". I had that thrown in my face by an ex every time he had a tantrum. Each time he used to come back and say he didn't mean it, but how would I know with how angrily he had said it and how he stormed off leaving me wondering if it really was over? It was such a pattern, and a hurtful one. If he came back to me and said he was sorry and would never do it again, I don't know if I could have ever forgotten it.

      My husband has done some dumb shit too, and sometimes that gets replayed in my mind even though he had said he was sorry. God, I could even go back to childhood when my own father said hurtful things to me. It's like I've got this limitless mental filing cabinet happening.

    • Bimbobambo

      Oh, I see. Yeah assholes like this exist. The only thing that I can't forget from my childhood until the teenage years were Im doing part time jobs, was the disapointment I had from my father. He is a really good father and Im thankful for him raising me and my brother all by himself but I dont understand why my Room never was finished. My brother had his own room, but my room was left alone in the mid of the renovation. That was from 10 years old to 18. So I slept always on the livingroom floor and couldnt invite any friends or girls at all, because first its embarrasing and Second I want a Room to chill alone with my crush too. Like my LITTLE brother did. It always felt so unfair. And through the 8 years I often asked when I get my room, or if he doesn't wanna do it I use the money from my part time job to do it on my own. And he was always like "nah, Im doing it. I won't allow you to do it. This is my house." And it was so frustrating because I know he won't. Well now I live alone..

    • Bimbobambo

      This is the only thing I can never forgive and forget. Literally. Its rare that I open my heart online to a stranger like this. But you seem alright, so I just did.

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  • Dingsbums
    I like your take and I don't know why people get mad about it but it explains why so many relationships break
  • JustinX9
    Why do guys keep chasing women when there's an argument? Every time there is an argument is it always the guy soothe girl's feeling?
  • purpleluv
    the fifth one is what i want every guy to rad and do
  • Sexualchrist
    But what if the argument is about her body, her mother and weird shit she does?
    • Ozanne

      LOL timing and how you say things, my friend. :)

  • rgb008
    I agree with most, but I prefer to cry alone personally.
  • Red7336
    just reading this broke something inside lol

    those are REALLY cruel... DONT DO IT BOYS !
    • Ozanne

      I know. Can you imagine? I've had a few of these things said to me in the past and none of them were justifiable. Any argument I was involved in with my exes did not have to include some of the hurtful shit they chose to say during the argument at all, that they could never take back, nor could I ever forget about.

    • Red7336

      they actually said these things? :O
      well thank god they are exes then... people fight all the time, no one has to stoop so low though
      and girls get really hurt by things like that

      im sorry

    • Ozanne

      Yep, where to begin. Had a fight with my first live-in who in the middle of our fight said, "... and you're getting fat!" Think that didn't sting? As if a woman doesn't know she's putting on weight and it has to be pointed out. The same guy in a different fight wouldn't say "I love you" back to me, and spat out "I don't love you right now" which really hurt. He became an ex pretty much right after these two fights because of what he chose to say - never mind the fact of what we had disagreements about in the first place.

      My husband STILL has a problem with leaving the room when I cry, and letting me go to bed upset and still crying saying he's tired in his annoyed tone of voice. This bugs me so much. I usually throw on the lights and make him realize that what matters is his sensitivity toward me about what's going on, not even so much what upset me in the first place.

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  • FatherJack
    " And though I know women aren’t the easiest creatures to live with, even if we start an argument ourselves out of nothing (which we have created down to a science) " Which is why more and more men are choosing to stay single... I am pissed off with my soon to be ex wife as she does this & work my backside off around the house , she is nothing but a useless, lazy unappreciative fat lump , so I am dumping her !! Post separation & divorce I am staying permanently single.. I don't have a great need for people in my life anyway & apart form my children & mum , no one else required !!
  • Terrell456
    I always follow these. I love my wife and don't ever want to lose her.
  • LordZero
    One sure-fire way to hurt all humans. Send all humans to hell.
  • SuitAndTie
    What if she does all the 5 things you've mentioned?
    • Ozanne

      Did you read my Take?

    • SuitAndTie

      I sure did. Well?

    • Ozanne

      Did you go past the first paragraph?

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  • abundantlyrich
    The guys are suffering from foot and mouth disease
  • RJGraveyTrain
    This was all very, very true.
  • YourFutureEx
    Great but how to compromise on #3 :/ ?
    • Ozanne

      Timing is everything with #3. If you read the comments between me and JuicyBrain, I gave me thoughts on that one. :)

    • Haha I thought I'd not even say that :)

  • LouiePaarthurnax
    Great take!
  • grahamcracka
    these go for everybody really
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