(Trigger warning)
5 Qualities for Choosing a Good Wife
From answering questions and chatting privately on it site, guys have always ask if there are more women like me. So I decided to write a Take about qualities you men should look for in women if you want to get married and have a family.
For starters you need women who value home and family more than cash and credit in their own names. Women who like being First Officer and are happy to have a Captain who takes the main responsibility for the crew. Women who make other people’s happiness their own, and who don’t have to TRY to do that, it’s just how they are. The trick is to be able to recognize those women when you meet them, and to see the red flags that tell you when you’re going down the wrong track.
So here is my advice for single men on how to find a wife.
#1 How much does she weigh?
People come in all different shapes and sizes, and there is no wrong or right shape. There’s only what you prefer, and you are entitled to your preference. Start with that. Do NOT marry someone you do NOT find physically attractive. It will not get better. It will get worse, and that’s a terrible position to be in – married to someone you don’t fancy. Having said that, you need to ask IS HER WEIGHT STABLE? Whether you prefer the softly rounded or the slender, the athletic or the sturdy, a stable weight goes hand in hand with a stable mind. Look at pictures of her over time. Wildly fluctuating weight is a sign of mental disturbance, and that is just what you do NOT want.
#2 Does she like children?
That’s a deal breaker. A woman who doesn’t like children is a woman who doesn’t like vulnerability, chaos, responsibility, obligation, patience or cheer. Lots of women will say “oh, I would love my OWN children, I just can’t stand other people’s children.” That is a woman who considers children personal property and you are in for a hot mess of hurt and a lifetime of child support if you fall for one of those ladies. The slightest hint of not liking children should send you running for the hills. The failure to see children everywhere as little people deserving of love and guidance and patience and tolerance is fatal flaw.
#3 Does she have an inner life?
A woman with an inner life does things that allow her to contemplate the world from someone else’s perspective. Whether that involves reading or analyzing baseball games or volunteering at the animal shelter, it means she has some capacity to consider the needs of others. There’s a clue there, dudes. If you’re actively looking for women who read/analyze/volunteer, you should spend some time at the bookstore/arena/shelter. Become a familiar face and you might find a willing conversational partner and then take it from there.
#4 Does she have a loving family and close friends?
Women who DON’T have these things should not be off the table automatically, because no one chooses their family, but a woman without a family or friends should be dealt with very cautiously. There might be a good reason she has no friends. Beware of women who say things like “I don’t like hanging out with women. They’re so bitchy/catty/dramatic/blah blah. I prefer the company of men.” That’s a huge red flag right there. There are plenty of women I hate and would not voluntarily spend one second with, but I also have a group of like-minded ladies who walk through life with me and I LOVE them to pieces. A woman who prefers the company of men over all women has a problem with lack of male attention. She probably grew up in a single parent household, and it’s unlikely she is going to be satisfied with just YOUR attention.
#5 Does she care if you are hungry?
Young women today have very few domestic skills, a sad result of growing up with mothers who preferred cubicles and frozen pizza to a kitchen and fresh bread. Those skills can be learned, however, and all it takes is practice and desire. Don’t panic if your lady friend cannot boil water or make the proverbial sandwich. She can learn how to do those things. What she CAN’T do is learn how to care. She does or she doesn’t. A woman who will bring you take-out, or heat soup from a can or pick up some bread and cheese from the bakery because YOU are hungry is on the right path. It’s all about attitude. Wanting to go out for dinner because SHE wants to is very different from wanting to go get dinner because YOU have had a long shitty day and she’s knows your favourite Mexican restaurant is just what you need. Caring about you starts with caring about what and when you eat. It’s really that simple.
Have a Great Day :)
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