Black Women, is this back handed love?

Anonymous

My question to you:

How do you feel about being told "I'm the only one that wants you" instead of "They don't know what they're missing, I'm so glad to have you"...

INTRODUCTION

What is a back handed compliment? What is backhanded love?

-Back handed compliment: An insult disguised as a compliment; or a compliment that unintentionally has an insulting undertone, either using irony or sarcasm.

-Back handed love: Insults disguised in expressions of love

Ex: "You look so beautiful with makeup on" :

intentional insult? or unintentional?, I mean what if you never wear makeup & your friends see you in it for the first time?

Ex: "I didn't expect you to get the job, congratulations!"

intentional insult? or unintentional? What if you both had already discussed that you're boss probably had someone else in mind?

Ex: "Babe I know you've been threatening to leave... but you're not really what most men want, the dating world is cold, you won't find anyone out there who'll love you like I do.

Intentional insult? or just telling it how it is...

You aren't perfect, I'm not perfect we've all had our moments of "OOPS! that did not come out the way I meant it to" SO, how do we differentiate between someone who just inserted the wrong sentence & someone who likes a little bit of salty with their sweet when giving out compliments? How do we differentiate between someone who loves us and doesn't want to sugarcoat the realities of life & someone who is secretly rating you based on how THEY themselves feel about you, while covering it with saying that's how EVERYONE see's you? Furthermore, how are others opinions of you relevant to your relationship?

IS THIS LOVE?

@AdmiralBailey's My Take

If you haven't already read @AdmiralBailey's my take "5 Reasons Why I Only Want To Marry A Black Woman" 5 Reasons Why I Only Want to Marry a Black Woman

The title is self explanatory, he lists his reasons for wanting to marry a black woman, he also hints that he's controversial for his criticism of black women, he explains that when you love someone you call them out & you hold them accountable for their actions because you want them to improve, this is a good point, YES we should be trying our best to help the ones we care about by pointing out the wrongs they do (respectfully).

I'm not familiar with his account so I haven't seen his controversial stuff, HOWEVER... while scrolling through the comments I saw one he left saying (not the exact quote) "Black women hate black men because black men can date who they want however black women are option-less there for they should stick to black men"

BW, are you really buying this? Is this really the best you can do? Men who tell you they're worth more than you... who tell you they're the only ones that want you... typically it's an abusive person who tells their spouses "no one will date you but me, so I don't know where you think you're going" so what would you call these men who say it?

Someone who cares about you won't uphold the ideals of your enemies against you, Why are you being told "I'm the only one that wants you" instead of "They don't know what they're missing, I'm so glad to have you" Notice the difference?

FINAL THOUGHT

My point isn't for you to cuss & fight over those comments, because it would only help to paint you in a negative light, however you can question the status quo, remember high school musical? "STICK TO THE STUFF YOU KNOW"?

They were telling the jock who wanted to cook to stay in his lane, like, who does he think he is?LOOOOOOOOL, no one would buy or even try anything his hands touch, Just like Laura Ingraham said to LeBron James "Shutup & dribble".

By the way, you don't need the whole world to like, love, or want you, you are only one person therefore you only need one person at a time to respect & love you, THAT means that when someone tells you to stay NOT because he loves you but because he's your only option, you can tell him that there are 7 billion people in the world approximately 3.5 billion of them are males, & about 1.5 of those males are adults so out of about 1 billion, you can sure as hell leave these ones behind & find one who likes & respects you.

SUMMARY OF MY QUESTION TO YOU

How do you feel about being told "I'm the only one that wants you" instead of "They don't know what they're missing, I'm so glad to have you"...

Tough love, or back handed love...?

Black Women, is this back handed love?
2 Opinion