Relationships

You See Right Through Me

I have been screwed over by all the men that I have ever wanted. They have blossomed my feelings only to block me from their love. I have spent so much time trying to prove to others that he really does fancy me. One time I even changed my hair just to hear him say "Ew, I don't like her anymore." Or when he failed to acknowledge the fact that I even exist when he was around his friends. Time and time again HE has failed me.

However, I've been through all of these men just to find my perfect haven.

1. He Wouldn't Take No For An Answer

If you tell a guy that you're not interested, he'll back off and move on but not you. You see I wasn't even looking for a relationship. I tried to push you away. Like over and over again. I really did. But somehow you read in between my lines. You fought for my love. Something that no one never did. You tore down every single brick of my Great Wall. Years of me building up walls to protect myself against things that have hurt me. The first man that saw through me and then still pressed for my love.

2. You Have Done Every Single Thing Correctly.

-You talked to me first.

-You found a way to be constantly around me

-You made me feel beautiful. Like I was the only woman in the room.

I didn't want you at first but over time I started to change my mind. I started to fall for you. My heart had been turned but my mind was still against the thought of being in a relationship with you. I follow my mind and not heart. "If you live on your emotions, you'll get lost."

I was getting lost in you though. I would observe how you moved, talked and acted but I could not let you see that I was.

You were always 5 steps ahead of me. It's as if you developed another sense just to pick up on me. You knew what was happening and you saw right through me. You knew exactly when I began to fall for you.

3. Changed The Way I Thought Of Things

That famous verse says "Wives Submit to your Husbands..." I CAN NOT STAND THAT WORD- SUBMIT! I can't fathom the idea of being a yes woman. A man leading my mind. I THINK FOR MYSELF. At the end of the day, the man will make the final decisions. The wife can only make comments. I RULE ALONGSIDE MY MAN.

However, when I look through your eyes (can't believe I'm saying this) I just want to say okay. I just want to fulfill your every command. I just want to go along with what you say. I want to be queen to your kingdom. I don't understand it.

I used to think of marriage as this concrete dominance versus submission concept. Now I think of it

is "you serve me and I'll serve you." You reached out to me and started to help me with all the things I did. You seek to serve me instead of dominating me. Your calm and chill but still assertive. I like the fact that you don't have to be a dictator to be a man. You forever changed the way I think of things.

4. It Feels Different

Just ask me.

Do you love him? Yes

Do you wanna be with him? Yes

I feel love. A love so filled with fire. A love so filled with passion. For the first time, I want to be protected by a man. For the first time, I want to be nurtured and cared for by a man. I wanna lay all of my walls down. I wanna let you in. I want to open up and tell you all of me. I trust you for some odd reason. I don't trust anyone. For the first time, I want to jump and never look back. It is so crazy! It's almost like an out of body experience. I don't recognize myself when I'm with you.

Maybe that's ok. To let go and expose every single ounce of me. Every heartbreak. Bad memory. My goals. My secrets. Things that I love.

My biggest fear was that I would let a man in just for him to not be able to handle it all- to reject me. But you have already seen through me.

So maybe, just maybe, I will let you love me.

Vulnerability Is Security
Vulnerability Is Security
You See Right Through Me
Post Opinion